“Act like a Cocker.” Meeting his eyes I expect a smile, but he’s glaring at me.
“The fuck?” he growls, turning on his bare heel to pace. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
My chest tightens and I want to reach for him, and explain that I’m scared. On my way to my coat and computer bag I laugh instead, “You own the world,” my voice tinny and false. But I keep talking anyway, rattling off a bunch of bullshit. “Brush this off as just another fuck and let’s get back to work! It doesn’t have to mean anything. And it makes no sense that I stay the night or get mushy or something stupid like that. We’re grown adults.”
“I own the world?” he repeats, disgusted as he follows me to the door.
“You’re the most confident family around. The world is yours! That’s what I meant.”
“You know I pay my rent here, right?”
Blinking at him I adjust the strap on my shoulder. “What are you talking about? I never thought you didn’t.”
He stares at me, then rubs his face. “You’ve lost me. I’m completely confused.”
Try as I might to grab the door handle I touch his neck instead. “You’re bleeding. I’m so sorry.” Struggling I force myself to leave him. “Goodnight Max.”
As my high heel boots echo through the small parking lot I know he’s watching to make sure I’m okay. And that hurts more than when he did the same for that actress. I don’t want him to be kind to me right now, and yet…I crave his kindness.
Because I’m fucking terrified.
CHAPTER 26
M AX
“Y ou seem distracted,” Colleen says as she pulls her hand from my turtleneck the next night. “Everything okay? Am I not doing it right?”
“No, you’re great,” I mutter, walking to my coffee table and dropping the script. “My head isn’t here right now. I’m sorry. Just give me a second.”
Her tone is reassuring, “Sure. We don’t have to rehearse tonight.”
My frown slides from the script to her. “You okay with that?”
“Of course!” She smiles and walks closer. “We could just…talk.” Her hand slides up my shirt again, only this time not in character.
I clasp it, stop its trail. “Colleen.”
“Max, I see how you look at me.”
My lips part from surprise. “Never meant to give you that impression.”
“Right, because you’re the director and it wouldn’t be professional. But people have off screen affairs all the time,” she purrs, stroking my chest. What she doesn’t know is the scratches are healing and that caress kinda hurts. “I don’t mean affairs like cheating. But you know, a love affair.”
My eyebrows pierce together as I return her hand back to her. “I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I wanted this, but this isn’t good for the project.”
Clearly not used to being turned down, my lead actress blinks in shock and takes a vulnerable step back. “Oh, wow, God, I feel like an idiot. Are you into men?”
“No. I’ve just put every dime I’ve saved my entire working life into this film and I don’t want to screw it up.”
Colleen nods, processing it, opens her beautiful lips but closes them again. I’ve stumped her. “Oh I see!” She brightens up, and approaches me one final time. Those gorgeous doe eyes widen like we’re in on a secret she just figured out. “We’ll stay like this until the shoot is over.” Her hand waves between us, indicating distance. “And then as soon as we’re wrapped, we can have fun.”
Chewing my lip I’m speechless. But there’s no way I’m turning this offer down. We begin shooting next week. If she feels rejected she might walk. So I give a smile that deserves my own Oscar. “That’s a great plan.”
“Isn’t it?”
“I love it.”
Proud of herself she rises on her tiptoes and kisses me. I’m frozen, and don’t return it. The peck goes unanswered but this girl is not deterred. She can write off my unresponsiveness to ambition and maybe even strength of character.
Really, I’m just not interested.
“Max, I’m going to go home and I’ll be thinking of you.” Her head tilts. Then she grabs my crotch out of the blue. “And I want you to think of me, too.” Smiling she releases my package and picks up her scarf, her white coat, the matching clutch purse. Natalie dresses nice, too, but she doesn’t look like a walking cotton ball.
Stop it, Max.
Keep Colleen on the actor-pedestal.
Don’t let what just happened fuck with your directing her.
Forcing a smile I walk her to the door, feeling not nearly as in love with this creative relationship as I did. “You get home okay now,” I offer.
“You’re so cute.”
My smile thins and I shove my hands in my pockets. “Night.”
“Goodnight, Max.” The girl glides to her car like the world is her runway.
You own the world.
When her headlights light up I give her a wave for good manners. She blows me a kiss from behind her steering wheel. Blows me a fucking kiss.
As soon as I deadbolt the door, I groan, “Oh fuck, no no no to all of that.”
Kicking off my sneakers I head for the bathroom that used to be my father’s, and wash my face with water as cold as I can get it. Drying off I open my eyes wide and stare at myself a second before digging out my phone and walking back into the loft.
“Max,” Dad answers, a question in his voice. “It’s after ten. Everything okay? You never call this late on a Saturday.”
“Yeah, Dad, I’m good. What, are you sleeping already? Don’t get old on me.”
He chuckles and corrects me, “I meant I’d expect you to be out. Isn’t this the night the women are running after you?”
I mutter, raking my hair back, “I just had to turn one down right here in my own home.”
“You’re kidding. Did you get her all the way to bed before you changed your mind?”
“Nah. It’s complicated. Didn’t call about that though. Dad, I just had
