“I’ve tried to block the memory.”
“There I was, beginning to feel like a woman, inviting boys for the first time. And I had that crush on Manny…I forgot his last name, what was it?”
“I don’t remember.”
“That boy’s hormones couldn’t take their eyes off my momma’s legs! He was hoping he’d get a peek of her you-know-what!”
“Of course he was.” I glance back to my dog and he pants at me with a huge smile. “Boys, Bucky, right?”
“I swear if she’s wearing something sparkly I’m calling her out!”
“Your phone lit up.”
“Read it for me.”
I groan, “Your sister wants to know why you’re taking so long to get there.”
“Of course she does. Tell Tee Tee the funeral isn’t until tomorrow but if she’d like me to Astral Project myself there right now I’m on my way. What does she expect me to do, fly? Two tickets costs money. Shared gas costs nothing!” Under her breath Denise grumbles, “She got to Mom’s early so she could hold it over my head.”
“You guys have dealt with your mom’s eccentricities in different ways.”
Not interested in psychobabble, she says, “Check my emails after you text her back.”
Knowing if I reply to Tee Tee the drama will escalate, I skip it and click around Denise’s inbox instead. “Just some newsletters from department stores.”
“Any sales?”
“Um, no, nothing big. Lord, you shop a lot.”
“You know I do.”
My fingers stop as I spot a name I recognize, and my heart does a little jump of its own volition. “You got an email from Billy.”
She bounces in her seat. “Are you serious? Open it!”
“It says he’s having another party. It’s tonight, wow, so soon? That’s bold. There’s a photo of the charred house, look.” Holding it out, I watch her curious expression as Denise quickly scans the ghastly image.
Shaking her head she returns to the road. “Nasty business.”
“You know how he signed it?”
“How?”
“Always keep that fire.”
She breaks into a grin, wagging her purple nail. “Now that’s how you do it! Jump back on that horse, Billy! Lose your shit, then get right back on that thing and ride!”
Smiling I ask, and there’s a definite challenge in my tone, “You bringing that attitude to the funeral, Denise?”
With a gleam she nods. “Mmhmm.” All ten fingers loosen then tighten on the shiny steering wheel as she stares into her decision. “That’s what I’m gonna do.”
As I choose an upbeat playlist for the rest of the ride, I smile to myself, thinking, That’s the thing about courage, it inspires more.
CHAPTER 13
N ICHOLAS
T his is a first. All three of my siblings have come to Billy’s Resurrection Party with me and Matthew.
When I awoke late the next morning after that crazy, long night, there were voice messages from all of them—Zoe, Wyatt, and Nathan. Mom told them about the fire. Their reactions were predictable, to a point.
Zoe has a heart the size of all the southern states combined. She feels things pretty deeply, and hearing worry come through in her voice didn’t surprise me. When I told her I was fine, that Billy was going to bounce back too, was having another party right away to prove it, she asked if she could come. I think to watch over me, which is laughably adorable.
Our brother Wyatt is a cop now, loves anything emergency-related. Adrenaline is his drug. He’s here hoping for another fire.
It was Nathan, the youngest of us, whose reaction surprised me. First, he booked a flight from Yale with money he’d saved, to be here with us tonight—made me promise not to tell Mom and Dad.
“I’m acing the work, I can miss a few classes.”
He’s asked the most questions, wanted details the other two weren’t concerned about. He was almost obsessive, and he’s usually laid back about pretty much everything. Even getting into Yale didn’t spark this kind of enthusiasm in him, which increased my suspicions that becoming a lawyer isn’t in his heart. Or maybe it’s just a given, so he doesn’t show emotion about the subjects he’s studying. Not sure yet.
My younger brothers are closer to each other than with me. They were born less than a year apart, and they loved to drive me crazy when we were kids—Zoe, always the referee.
The five of us are walking into an abandoned warehouse loft, the size of an airplane hangar, exposed beams overhead. The place has people coming out of its pores.
Matthew and I exchange a look.
Nate’s at my side, eyes darting around controlled chaos.
“All these people were there during the fire?”
“No way. Word must have spread.”
He jogs his strong chin to the DJ. “Same guy spinning?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ve gotta ask if his equipment is the same stuff he had that night.” Nathan vanishes.
Wyatt shrugs to me and we keep moving deeper into a throng of excited bodies.
My best friend throws me a knowing smile, “The drama of impending doom, it’s one hell of a lure.”
Wyatt nods, but Zoe predictably frowns, “I would have felt terrible if it had been our house that burned down, wouldn’t you have, Nicholas?” Mom says she was carved out of optimism and pink blossoms. None of us like to see her smile turned down.
I throw my arm around her. “Yeah, but what are you gonna do, wallow? Bad stuff happens to everyone. It’s how you deal with it that’s up to you. Billy’s a hero to these people. Don’t worry about him. He’s gonna be fine.”
“I know, but it’s so sad.” She burrows into me as we walk.
Wyatt teases her, “Stop being so damned emotional. Nobody died!”
“True,” she smiles.
“They experienced something raw, hardcore! Look at them! They bonded over this thing you’re calling a tragedy, Zo. I’m gonna get a drink.” He stretches his spine to look over the tops of bobbing heads. “Where’s the booze?”
Matthew points ahead. “Probably against one of the back walls. I see two clusters.”
As the four of us make our way through the dance section,
