Mom gasps, “Is someone pregnant?”
I smile, “No, nothing like that. I wear protection. This is hard to talk about with you, Mom. Maybe suspend your shocked reactions if you want to stay and listen.”
“Okay.”
Dad smirks as he glances from her to me. “If you knew some of the things my brothers did before they got married, Meagan, you would expect this from one of my boys.”
On a small laugh she rolls her eyes, “Just one more reason I’m glad you were in the Marines. Kept you busy in other ways.”
“And it brought me to you.”
“Yes.”
“So maybe Nathan…”
“Not now, Jeremy. Nicholas is trying to talk to us.”
His eyes flicker and he kisses her shoulder, “We’ll talk about it more soon,” returning back to me. “So, what, did you catch a disease?”
Laughing I shake my head as Mom smacks him.
“I just said I wore protection.”
“I’m trying to lighten the air.”
“Diseases always have that effect,” I grin, admitting, “I feel lighter, though. So good job.”
Mom asks, “What’s bothering you?”
Taking a beat, I lower my voice, ruminating over the dilemma that’s been haunting me so badly I had to bring it to my father. “I met someone I like, someone I can’t shake yet. Took her on a date about a month ago, and it ended badly.” Rubbing the bridge of my nose, I mutter, “She called me out on my reputation.” Locking eyes with them, I correct myself, “Actually she’s done that from the day I met her. Which wasn’t that long ago. I barely know her. But there’s just something about this one. Can’t shake it. I’ve been trying to let it go.”
Dad asks, “Why let it go? Does she not like you?”
“That’s a good question,” I sarcastically laugh, adjusting my weight. “She rides my ass, which I seem to find fascinating as hell. But yeah, I think she likes me. It’s just this one thing she can’t get past.”
“She’s seen you with these girls, or what?”
Staring at him I nod. “Yeah, unfortunately.”
Mom sighs, “If she saw you with them—wait, how many are we talking here?”
“Meagan,” Dad warns.
“I’m just trying to get an idea.”
“Mom, it’s a lot. I’m not shy about P.D.A.”
She nods, “That’s a hard image to shake for a woman.”
“Apparently.” As I stare at them I huff, “Haven’t been interested in being with anyone since I met her, though. It would be easier if I was. But they all seem…”
Dad lifts his chin, “Not enough. They don’t compare.”
Mom glances to him, her eyes soft as she strokes his arm.
I exhale, “Yeah, that. But she’s still got images of them in her head and she laid down the law pretty clearly. It’s all or nothing. Fuck, this is hard.”
“Why is it so hard?” he asks. “Why not just trust your gut?”
“Because my gut tells me I should have called her a month ago, and now I look even more like a dick. I tried ‘nothing’ and now the other option is ‘all’? That’s really rough to get my head around. Did you guys, I mean…did you have hesitancy like this?” Hurrying to cover my tracks I add, “Not that she’s the one or anything, I’m only saying—”
“—You want to give it a shot and see where it goes,” Dad offers, his voice deep, thoughtful.
“I think I want that.”
“Why don’t you tell her?”
“What if it doesn’t work out?”
“Then it doesn’t, and you move on.”
Shaking my head I stand up, start to pace. “See, that’s the thing that’s stopping me. If it was just me I was worried about, I wouldn’t hesitate. But I don’t want to hurt her. She’s special. Really down-to-earth. Honest. Not like the girls I’ve hooked up with who were happy being superficial. Hell, I didn’t even get most of their names!”
Mom blurts, “Nicholas!”
Pointing, I remind her, “No judgment if you want in on the boy’s talk, Mom.”
“Sorry.”
“You know what she told me? She hasn’t been with many guys. I have a feeling it might be one or two, because she’s not even into makeup or anything. Just a natural beauty hidden under some baggy clothes. Well, until our date, then, damn, that dress!” I rub my chin and glance to my parents. “I’m thinking aloud.”
Dad’s smiling, and Mom is, too. Seeing their amusement, I sit back down, lean forward in earnestness. “If we date and she falls in love with me, then what if I break her heart? I can’t do that to her. I really couldn’t stand that. I mean, I’ve thought about it, and I know I would hate myself forever.”
Mom stands up, comes over to me and runs her hand down my cheek, lifting my jaw a little as she warmly smiles at me. “Honey, if you’re that afraid of hurting her, then you won’t. Because you already care for her a great deal. She might hurt you, though. And that’s okay. You can put yourself out there, heart and soul, and give it your best shot. Be courageous. That’s where the miracles are.” She goes to leave the room, saying over her shoulder, “Jer, I’ve intruded enough already on boy’s time. Talk to your son. I’ll get out of your way.”
He gets up and walks over, kisses her. “I love you, Meagan.”
“I love you too, Jeremy.” She kisses him one last time before she leaves and he shuts the door.
Dad smirks to me, jogging his thumb in her direction, “You see what your mom just did there?”
“Yeah…I mean, no. Wait, what are you talking about?”
Crossing his arms he cocks his eyebrows. “She told you what you needed to hear, then gave me credit. Like I could top that with anything I could say to you right now. After this, she’ll act like I’m the one who helped you. And if anyone asks…” Shaking his head he glances to the door. “Your mother’s a good woman. She understands a man’s ego.” Walking to his book, he wonders, “Did I ever tell you the story of Grandpa Jerald
