I glance between her and Dad, my breath held. He tilts his head to the side and leans back in his chair. “Everything okay with Lexi?”
My gaze drops to his purple carpet. “It’s not always about Lexi.”
There’s an awkward silence before Mom says, “What is it, Sam?”
I flick a glance to her but…I can’t stand how this feels, so my eyelashes drop back down. “I think I’m falling in love.”
Dad stands up, shoving his hands in his pockets like the Cocker men do when they’re uncomfortable. “With Asher?”
“Who else would it be?”
“Jason,” Mom warns.
“I was just making sure we were talking about the same person.”
I cross my legs and pick up a silver throw pillow, hugging it to me.
Broadway.
Broadway.
Broadway.
Pulses in my veins.
I clear my throat. “Yes, Asher. I think he’s pretty great.”
“Is that because everybody thinks he’s pretty great, or because you think he is?”
Mom warns again, “Jason!”
“I am speaking from experience here, Sarah. Remember who I was when you met me.”
I glance up to see her acknowledging he’s right. I haven’t seen Max’s movie yet, even though it just got into Sundance, but I know the story. And I also know that Dad dated Simone before he and Mom fell in love. “You’re trying to say that I’m just interested in him because of superficial reasons.”
“He is very handsome.”
“Dad!”
Squatting in front of me, my father’s pale green eyes are filled with hope that I can see he means well. “Samantha, I want you to be happy. And if this guy makes you happy, then I am all for it. Does he?”
“We are just dating. You don’t have to get all forever on me. I’m not even ready to find the one yet. I’m too young.”
Dad exchanges a look with Mom. She says, “I told you she knew that.”
“Knew what?” I ask, glancing between them as I stand up, squeezing around him to pace with a deep frown.
Dad sighs, “Your parents talk about you. I’m sure that’s no shock.”
I run fingers through my hair as I think about New York City, voice distracted by what I’m not telling them. “Okay. Sorry.”
Dad makes a monster noise and runs at me like he used to do when I was a kid.
“No, Dad! Don’t even try it,” I shout as I run into the sound booth and shut the door. Locking it, I mouth through the window, “You suck. I am staying right here!”
He presses a button on his console so that I can hear their voices in the room. “Your mother wants to know something. What?”
“Never mind. I want to ask her in private.”
“But I want to know what it is.”
Mom tilts her head. “No, you don’t.”
Dad releases the button so I can no longer hear them. That magical little thing saves many an artist from hearing what producers really think of how they sang that last song or played that last rift. I can see them arguing, but not a single word is audible.
I open the door and walk out, safe from attack now that she’s distracted him. “I have to go you guys. Super hungry.”
Mom rises. “I’ll walk you out.”
Dad sits in the chair. “Code for girl talk.”
“Which you do not want to hear.”
He groans, “No, I don’t.”
Mom straightens a frame and wipes a smudge on the glass. It’s one of Simone’s hit records. “I swear Gabriel tilts this on his way out just to mess with me.”
There’s a chill in the air that makes us fold our arms for warmth. “I wonder if we’ll get snow this year.”
It’s not like her to stall. I mutter, “We didn’t have much last year. But it’s so unpredictable.”
Her almond brown eyes lock onto mine. They’re what I inherited from her. The only things. “Have you slept with Asher, honey?”
I smooth my hair self-consciously, glancing away to answer, “Not yet.”
“Would he be your first?”
I cut a surprised glance to find her just as uncomfortable as I am. I’m twenty-two. Does she really think I’m still a virgin. Zoe is, but Zoe is not of this planet. We all know that. “No, he wouldn’t be my first, Mom.”
Her eyebrows go up as she struggles with her reaction. “You never told me.”
“Did Max and Caden tell you?”
“No, but Lexi did, and girls are different.”
“Why?”
Mom runs her hand down my arm. “Because we’re women. I’m your mom, and I want to know when my girls have the biggest experiences of their lives. Max and Caden told your father, but they never would’ve told me. I’m sure some sons tell their mothers, but can you imagine them coming to me instead of your dad?”
I exhale, feeling bad about being this argumentative today. It’s covering up what I’m not telling. That’s my fault. They shouldn’t pay for this. “Mom?”
“Yes?”
I stare at her a second and remember her face when her curly red hair was long and wild. It doesn’t touch her shoulders now, and there are wrinkles where there were none. It’s the same with Dad, these little changes have shown up as if overnight. They’re growing older. Everyone is. Grandpa and Grandma are looking less robust, for lack of a better word considering how powerful their presences have always been. Grams is a whisper of a woman.
Time keeps passing.
None of us can stop it.
Do I want to spend it away from the people I love most?
Instead of telling her about the tugging news I came with, I confess an honest, “I wish I would’ve told you about my first time. Even if there wasn’t much to say.”
She scrunches her nose just like Lexi always does. “Was it that bad?”
“I’ve forgotten.”
“Ooooh! That bad? Oh no!”
Smiling, I give her a hug, “I love you, Mom.”
“I love
