Fuck.
The guys wanted to give her the medallion weeks ago, but I wouldn’t allow it. They threatened to take over. Marco actually used the word mutiny until I reminded him that I wasn’t their leader. The days of me being their alpha are long gone. But I guess those instincts are so deeply ingrained they will always look to me for leadership and permission on things.
After everything went down with Angus and the near-miss with Dahlia that destroyed the Vessel… ever since Damon disappeared… nothing has felt right. Joely is supposed to be the Nightbird. According to the prophecy, she’s supposed to be the key to it all. She’s supposed to be fierce and strong and wise and powerful. She’s supposed to help us put an end to all of this agony.
That’s what this is. I resigned myself to this quest long ago. I knew I would make good on my promise to Tobias, even if it killed me. But since Joely arrived, that single-mindedness has been sheer agony. It’s absolute torture to push her away, to build this barrier between us. It’s torture, but I know myself too well. If I let her in and something happens to her, I don’t think I’d survive.
Fuck.
I push myself harder, racing as fast as my wolf can go, my paws gripping into the dirt through the snow. I need to go faster than them. I need to outpace their energy. But I know there is no hope of that. Especially not now that she’s wearing the medallion.
Fuck.
I can feel them right now. All three of them. They are in Marco’s bed like they usually are and their bodies are moving and feeling and…
Fuck!
I get to the edge of the trees and I stop running, my wolf heart banging against my ribcage. I can’t outrun them any more than I can outrun my thoughts. They are inside me. She is inside me and I want her so badly I can’t find the words to explain it even to myself.
I need her. I need Joely Everstar. I need to possess her and at the same time I need her to own me. I want her to claim me the way she has claimed my brothers. I want to give myself to her.
But I can’t. There is too much at stake. We are so close.
Fuck.
I don’t know how to modulate my needs. I have never been one to do things half way. I learned that the hard way years ago and fell so deep that I almost got us all killed. I can’t risk it now. Not now that we are so close to settling this score once and for all. For us. For Tobias.
I wish I could turn off my mind. Running is the only thing that comes close but tonight, even that isn’t working. Now that I’m standing still, I can feel my brother’s energy. The vibe is not as strong now as it was when Joely activated the medallion, but that doesn’t make it feel any less bizarre. When his essence flashed back at the house, it was so visceral and so heady that it seemed like I could turn around and he’d be standing there.
How many times have I looked in the mirror begging to feel my twin again? I used to worry that I had forgotten what he felt like, but once it actually happened I wanted it to stop. He isn’t here, and feeling him around me isn’t a comfort—it’s a reminder of my failure. It makes me feel like he is stuck in some kind of limbo, haunted by my promise that is still unfulfilled after all these years.
A quick glance around the forest tells me I have ventured off the usual path. I take a moment to get my bearings as I move to the top of the rise. I’ve been running so long and the snow is falling so thick it’s made these familiar paths and trees seem alien.
I crest the hill and take in the view and realize I am on the opposite side of the woods from the cliffs we usually roam. This part of the national park loops along the campus and edges the back of the Society’s vast estate. The Society’s mansion sits among the trees off in the distance to my left. I am about to turn and head home when I realize the entire place is lit up.
Adrenaline zings through my body. Every light is on inside the mansion, and as I get close I can make out movement of people. Is Damon Underwood back? Has he brought reinforcements?
Fuck.
Sticking to the trees, I head toward the Cottage to get a better look. I keep reminding myself that without the Vessel, Underwood has no way of knowing I’m standing a few hundred yards away. I may be a dire wolf, but a vampire is not easy to fight off, and even harder to kill.
I get as close as I dare and nestle down into the snow, watching as two mages repair damage to the back of the mansion. They stand on the roof and appear to be throwing magic down into the room through the ceiling into a room on the upper level, above the conservatory.
That’s where they held Angus. That’s where that weird portal to the Vessel was before Joely saved Angus and Dahlia fell, destroying the Vessel.
A woman shouts up from the balcony to the mages on the roof. The two mages on the roof—I can tell at least one of them is a man from his beard—ignore her. She shouts again, but the snow and the wind obscures a lot.
I wish I could get closer, but I can’t risk it. When the woman shouts a third time, one of the mages on the roof turns and throws a spell down to her, knocking her off her feet and sending her
