Maria nodded. Despite her obvious disappointment, she smiled at her two friends. It was her fault, after all, that Tabby was hurt, and that they were all in some foreign world where two moons hung above them, and spiders walked on two feet, craving human flesh.
“Come, come,” Gramps urged gently, walking over to Maria and putting his arm around her; Maria sheathed her sword to let him embrace her. “It won’t be long until the Arachnids come back with reinforcements,” he reminded her.
Claire shuddered. “Ugh, yeah, I’ll have one portal, please.”
“Your wish is my command, dear.” Gramps closed his eyes, and a peaceful calm came over his features. Then he began to sing in that sweet, high melodic tone that Maria first heard when she was a baby.
A portal opened in the middle of the street in which they stood. Maria could see the inside of Salem’s Ice Cream Shop; the checkered tile floors, the tables still pushed together where she had woken up from her run-in with Malakai. The window was fixed, and Salem was wiping down the front counter while opera music played loudly over the speakers.
“After you, Maria,” Gramps said, sweeping his arm toward the portal.
Maria helped Claire lift Tabby off the ground.
Wanna put her on my back? I can champion her like a medieval horse, Sherlock offered.
Maria snorted, causing Tabby to give her an odd, sideways look. “Did Sherlock just offer to give me a ride?”
“Did you hear him?” Maria asked.
Tabby shook her head. “No, I can just tell by the way he looked at me. Tell him I said thanks for the offer, but I’m okay. I’ll survive.”
Duh, I can hear you, Sherlock reminded Tabby.
Maria chose not to interpret that bit for her friend, instead saying, “He said you’re welcome.”
That’s not what I said at all!
Maria glared at him, and he quickly shut his mental mouth.
With one arm around Claire and the other around Maria, Tabby hobbled toward the portal. Gramps continued singing.
They all went through to the other side.
Chapter Three
“Ow, ow, ow!” Tabby cried.
The landing was not the smoothest. Salem’s floor was slippery, and when they took their first step onto the tile, they went sliding headlong into the pushed-together tables. Somewhere a record scratched, and the opera music cut out.
“My floor!” Salem shouted. He came out from behind his desk and pointed at a fresh scuffmark from one of the girls’ sneakers. “I just mopped it all up!”
“Your floor?” Claire echoed incredulously. “What about us?”
Luckily for Tabby, Claire and Maria had broken her fall. Sherlock slid into one of the trashcans, his backside in the air, and garbage spilled out all over him; sticky napkins and empty ice cream containers. Sherlock’s tail wagged furiously—he was in heaven.
“And look at that mess!” Salem continued. “It looks worse than after the battle.”
Agnes came out of the backroom with a smile on her face. “Oh, be quiet, you old hermit. At least we don’t have to clean up any more blood.”
Maria looked around. She’d rocked her head pretty hard, but Agnes was right…there was no blood—only budding bruises.
Gramps stepped through the portal just as it closed. He didn’t slip or slide or fall; he came out as coolly and calmly as ever, looking like Clint Eastwood in a Western movie—the only difference being the use of wands instead of six-shooters.
“Yeah, we’ll have to work on our landings,” Gramps agreed. “One day, you may even become as cool as I am.”
Claire rubbed her head. “Yeah, I bet you walk away from explosions like James Bond or something.”
“I’ll have you know,” Gramps insisted, raising a hand, “I’ve not exploded something in a long while.”
“Can’t say I haven’t,” Maria mused. She looked at Tabby, who was getting up on her own. Her neck was now swollen and bruised. Small pokers from the Arachnid’s arms had stuck her in a jagged semicircle, leaving welled dots of blood. “Come on, Tab, let’s get you to a hospital.”
“Hospital?” Tabby replied, exasperated. “Seriously? What the hell am I going to tell my mom and dad? ‘Hey Mom, I didn’t make dinner tonight because I was too busy getting choked out by a giant spider that wanted to eat my flesh. Oh, and Dad, don’t worry, I’m not on drugs. I promise. Remember when I took that pledge to stay alcohol, drug, and tobacco free in middle school? Well, I’ve held true to my promise and I’m as clean as a whistle… all this crap you think I’m hallucinating isn’t a hallucination, I swear!’ Yeah, that’ll go over real smooth with the ‘rents.”
Claire snickered. “They definitely know you’re not alcohol-free. Remember what you did two weekends ago?”
“What did you do?” Maria asked. She saw Tabby’s face go red. “What, c’mon, I thought you told me everything, Tab!”
“Apparently not,” Claire said.
“How come Claire knows? Not fair.”
“Only reason Claire knows is because she was tasked with the unfortunate job of picking me up, since she was just leaving the mall,” Tabby answered.
“Spill it,” Maria said.
Even Agnes, Salem, and Gramps were waiting for the story. Sherlock, on the other hand, was too busy licking the floor near the trashcan, mumbling something about the taste of vanilla ice cream and lemon cleaning product.
“Fine, but you all have to promise not to laugh,” Tabby said.
Salem raised his right hand, a smile on his face. “I promise not to laugh too hard.”
Tabby glared at him. “Fair enough,” she said after a moment’s silence. “I was at a frat party—I know, I hate those things, but one of my sorority sisters dragged me along and I technically had to go. Anyway, they were passing around this two liter of Dr. Pepper, and stupid me didn’t realize it was probably spiked. Sure enough, I took a swig and everyone starts chanting, ‘Chug, chug, chug!’ and I love
