“How do I do that exactly?”
“Let’s try this. Ground yourself and close your eyes.” I did as she instructed, “Now, pull back your curtains, ever so slightly.”
I opened my eyes, fearing I may have lost my ability to understand her.
She smiled, “I know, but you can do this, just try. Imagine a giant heavy curtain hanging around you. It is solid, unyielding.”
I closed my eyes again and saw nothing but blackness.
“Now, you can see through the curtain, but only a little bit.”
My blackness changed to thick filmy grey. Like a tinted shower curtain.
“Ever so slightly, pull it back, just a small amount. Now you can see, you can hear, everything around you.”
I opened my eyes, “So do I keep it open?”
“See? There is your choice. If you keep it closed, or close it, they will not be as obvious. If you leave it open, you will be more available to them visiting.”
“But I thought it was just about the emotional rocks and stuff?”
She laughed with wisdom. I wondered if I would ever be that wise that it rang through my laugh. “Miss Mills, the emotional deposits are to help you cope with everything you are dealing with. It is impossible for you to process everything as heavily burdened as you were. The emotional lines were like an express way into your psychic side. Now that those have slowed down, the trains are not coming much anymore. Think of it as the transition to other forms of transportation that you are more in control of. The trains came and went on those emotional lines on their own schedule. You couldn’t stop or even pause them. Think of the deposits as slowly tearing up the old railway tracks. Not allowing them to be used without express permission. You are protecting your kingdom from trespassers. The curtain is like a drawbridge. It gives you authority over who enters and grants you control. It allows them a new path to come in, but only when you wish.”
“So, I can turn it off and on now? Is this how we close that door?”
Her eyes smiled as she pondered. “If we close that door, they won’t come back, and although I thought when you first came to visit me that would be an option, I am not so sure now.” She folded her hands in front of her face, “Savanah, I don’t think you should close the door. I think your gift is too important and too powerful to just turn it off.” She back peddled slightly, “If you really want to close the door, and you really don’t want to be a medium, then yes I can try to help you do that, but Savanah, that is not something that you will be able to open to the degree it is now.”
“So, if I close that door, it will not open the same. It will be smaller, not as loud, maybe?”
“Yes, it will not be as loud, but it may not have sound at all.”
She thought I was considering closing it.
After all the time I didn’t want this, then losing it and now having it back stronger than ever, the last thing in the world I would want is for it to leave again. It was part of me, and I was part of it. Better or worse, annoying, or awesome, crazy, or creepy, I couldn’t deny it. I was as much a medium as a redhead. There was no changing that.
I met her gaze with a renewed look of peace. “So, we are working on closing the curtain on the window, so the draft isn’t quite as strong.” The smile on my face pleased her.
“Yes, that is as good of description as any I suppose.”
“Dr. Eyebright, I absolutely do not want to close the door if it will then become a wall. I want to keep it open, but a curtain to keep the drafts out would be nice,” I smiled again.
“So, let’s practice a bit more, shall we?”
I left her office, expecting a big change to happen instantly.
Nothing seemed different. Then again, it felt a bit quieter than it should have, which caused me concern. I ignored my fear, reassuring myself that a door was not closed. We were just making sure I was in control of my own space. I looked around the campus. No incoming spirits at the moment, just cold frozen air surrounding me.
I walked to the room, taking the stairs on purpose to hopefully see The Creeper, to try and have someone I could use my new phrases on, and practice my new curtain trick.
Still nothing. Hmm, interesting. Maybe I hadn’t opened the curtain enough? Maybe I had deposited too many emotions.
Still I practiced the exercises that she taught to me. Committed everything to memory, trying to make sure that when things did change, I would be able to remember.
Two days passed before I saw anyone else that didn’t belong here. It was the girl from the cafeteria. She stood across the room at lunch and waved. Reflexively, I waved back. I lost my appetite instantly thinking she would appear at the table, and at least six other athletes were all eating, completely unknowing. Camryn had just left, I sat at the table, an alien in my own school.
I gathered my things, and regrettably tossed the rest of my lunch in the trash. I kept my eyes down, thinking she would be talking to me any second. I pushed the doors open, walking into the cold sunny air.
Nothing.
I turned around, looking to see if she was close, but she had vanished.
The day only got stranger. I watched as the hall of the cadaver lab looked like a waiting room, but not one approached me. The library laundry girl definitely was there, but
