“Big deal? You guys are going to be together for hours. This is a big step. It’s like a super date.”
My stomach flipped, and the butterflies came out. “I hadn’t really thought of that.” Concern spread across my face.
“Why are you freaking out? I am just saying it is a big step and means you guys are pretty serious. This is cool.”
“Because”, I said tossing my hands up in the air, “What if things go bad? What if he decides he hates me?”
Camryn rolled her eyes, “Oh my hell, you ARE crazy. Tyler is absolutely fallen for you. Don’t you know that?”
“Not exactly.”
“Well, according to the guys he is completely whipped. Like completely. He would rather hang out with you than his boys.”
I creased my forehead. “No way. I so don’t believe you.”
She shrugged, “You should. That’s why he had to go out the other night. They’d been bugging him forever.”
It made a little sense. He hadn’t been out with the guys at all. My face must have revealed my thoughts.
“See? And even though he was with them, he still couldn’t help but call and check in with you.” Camryn finished the second beer and switched to water, “You can’t deny it. Did he check in that night?”
I smiled, “Yes.”
“Exactly. And I know this, but I have to have confirmation. You guys haven’t even hooked-up yet, have you?”
My face turned deep crimson, “That isn’t anyone’s business.” I whispered, keeping my eyes focused down.
“Han, you know I love you. I’m not trying to mess with you, I’m just adding to the evidence.”
“What evidence?”
“That Tyler is completely and totally whipped. He is stupid crazy about you, and if he weren’t, he would have been long gone by now.”
Instantly I was offended. “Why would you say that?”
Camryn rolled her head around, “Because obviously he will be patient for someone he really really cares for. He isn’t going to wait around for sex from someone he doesn’t have feelings for.”
I set my empty cup on the desk. He’d said he wasn’t in a hurry. He told me if he only wanted that, he would be gone, but whipped wasn’t a term I would use. More like a curiosity. Like a new game or puzzle. Fun and interesting until you had the thing figured out.
“Han, what’s wrong?”
“This just feels like a lot of pressure. I mean, he could have anyone. What if when we do go there, it isn’t good? What if I don’t do something right?” I spoke my thoughts out loud, fearing by doing so, it made them more likely to come true.
“When you guys get there, it will be great. I promise, you won’t do anything wrong.”
I loved Camryn. Something about her always made me feel at ease. The nerves that had started to build in my stomach, began to loosen.
“You think?”
She smiled sweetly, “I am positive. Savanah it will be just fine.”
I smiled at her. “I am so glad you are my friend.”
She took a swig of water. “You? Dude, if you weren’t my friend, I would have stalker guy following me all the time.”
I laughed, “Yeah but you wouldn’t know it.”
She winked at me, “I think I would.”
Chapter Twenty
“Do you want to grab coffee on the way out?” Tyler asked as he shut the door to the car.
“No, I think I’m good,” I smiled, trying to remain calm, and not to panic about our drive ahead of us.
He adjusted the mirror and backed out of the space. “Then why do you look like a kidnap victim?”
I tilted my head towards him, “I don’t think I look that bad.” I focused out the window, “I’m just nervous.”
Savanah, I am not that bad of a driver. Come on, it isn’t like I haven’t driven this road a million times.”
“It’s not your driving,” I focused on the stop light ahead of us. Watching the light turn from yellow to red.
The car slowed and came to a stop. Tyler turned to look at me. “Savanah, if you don’t want to go, just tell me.”
“I want to go; I love spending time with you,” I looked over at him. “I’m just nervous.”
“You’ve said that.” The light turned green, and I could escape his gaze.
“Well, I just worry. I mean, what if I am not ready?”
He furrowed his brow. “What?”
“I sound like such a dork. I just don’t know – I just feel really self-conscious.”
“Of what?”
“I just don’t want you to think I am going because I am ready for that.”
He glanced over at me, as we merged onto the freeway. “Could you please tell me what the hell you are talking about? You seriously are not making any sense.”
“Sex.” I closed my eyes and turned my face to the passenger side window.
“You think I asked you to go on this because I wanted to get laid?”
I stayed completely still.
“Savanah, look at me.”
I turned my head slowly.
“When have I ever made you feel like I was pushing that?” His face was red. He was angry. “I will NEVER push you. When you are ready, fine but not until. Seriously, that is what you are worried about?”
I shrugged, “I just didn’t know what you expected, and we are going to be gone like all day and like half the night and I...”
‘And you thought when we get to my grandparents’ farm, the most precious of my childhood places, I would what? Attack you in the barn, right there on the old tractor?” He shook his head and sighed, “What kind of asshole do you think I am?”
“I don’t think you are an asshole at all, I just-I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
He messed up his face, “Don’t apologize for how you feel.
