Chapter Five
Fall leaves gave up their final grasp on the trees, floating down begrudgingly. As fall orange and golden shades began to fade, I found myself not only surviving midterms but already registering for January term classes. It blew my mind that I’d almost completed my first semester! The next week would be Thanksgiving, and I’d head home for the first time since moving to college. Life had settled, I had matured, but honestly, I didn’t feel that different.
Why?
Shouldn’t I feel grown up, and ready to live my best life? Shouldn’t I be confident? Instead, my feelings rolled around like a rollercoaster from one moment to the next.
One second, things are high and perfect, then I bomb a quiz and my emotions plummet like the tracks. Then, Leah says something sweet and kind and I can hear the cars being pulled, clackety-clack up by the chain to start the process over again.
Was this what being an adult felt like? If so, how did they always look like they had it all together?
Or maybe I was doing something wrong. Maybe I missed a step. Forgot to get my ticket punched. Looking around, it appeared most were riding this rollercoaster with a friend. It seemed everyone had a boyfriend or girlfriend. Even Leah had started dating a guy she met on one of her hikes.
I however, continued to be a single rider.
Not that Tyler hadn’t asked me out. He held my hand a few times, while studying, or walking home in private. Of course, in public it would have been obnoxious, but we hadn’t really moved past that. I inhaled, exhaling slowly, knowing full well it was me that kept the relationship at arm’s length.
Shoving my book roughly in my bag, I became slightly irritated at myself. Why did I have to be so guarded? It isn’t like I didn’t like him. I grabbed my phone and texted. The biggest rival basketball game happened tonight, and Tyler had mentioned it. Why not?
“U going to game.” I texted, hitting send before I could chicken out.
“yep”
I waited. Really? I would have to ask. I smiled, imagining the smirk he surely was sporting, waiting for my response. I typed slowly, trying to get the words right.
“Y” He shot back.
Dang it!
“ya wanna go together?” I swallowed hard, waiting for the message to come back. If he said no, I’d be forever humiliated.
“do you” Tyler messaged.
I rolled my eyes, “Are you freaking kidding? He's such a brat.”
“Um I guess.” I sent. Two can play this.
“Well if you want”
I waited.
The smiley winky face emoji popped up. “I’ll swing by after practice.”
“ok see u then”
I pulled my ear buds out of my pocket and hit my power play list.
I finished studying, grabbed food, and headed back to the room. My roommates were actually super nice, just not really my style. They’d all bonded and connected with their respective teams. They were sport girls through and through. I walked silently around the girls to my bed in the back of the room.
“Hey Savannah.” Camryn tipped her chin towards me with a smile.
“Hey guys.” I dropped my book bag and started digging for a shirt.
“So, you going to the game?”
One of the friends smiled and chided in, “Yeah she is.”
My color matched my curls. My expression fell.
Camryn stepped in, “Darcy, what does that mean?”
Darcy smiled widely. “Nothing, I just have class with a friend of hers.”
I turned toward my drawers, looking for my invisibility cloak. It had to be here someplace.
Camryn pushed Darcy’s arm, “Stop it,” she whispered, “she is really shy.”
Hmm, Camryn is cooler than I thought.
Darcy laughed, “She can be as shy as she wants. Tyler is so jacked about this; he could hardly sit still in lab.” Her brows raised.
I smiled; my blush still filled my cheeks. “It isn’t a big deal.”
“Oh, Tyler is awesome. Like he is a good guy, Savannah, that is so cool.” Camryn walked closer. “Do you need anything?”
“Hey, I can help with hair.” Darcy, plopped down on the bed, “I know it doesn’t look like it, but my mom is a hairstylist, and actually my sister is like super girly.” She shrugged her shoulders, “I did learn a few things just watching them.”
I smiled. They were being so nice. “I don’t think I am really going to get all dolled up. It isn’t that big of a deal.”
Darcy laughed, “Well, Tyler thinks it is.”
I blushed deeper.
“Stop it, you are stressing her out.” Camryn turned toward me, “But really, you are totally right. It isn’t that big of a deal. Dress however you want.”
I felt the emotions rise in my throat. I’d never realized how sweet Camryn really was. Here we’d lived in the same space for months, and never saw this side of her. “Seriously, thank you for being so nice.”
Camryn’s face fell a little, “Of course Han. You are just so cute, I am so happy you are opening up.”
I glanced from Camryn to Darcy. Two jocks being like real girls. Humble gratitude oozed out. “Thanks, I guess I keep to myself.”
Darcy had moved to my dresser, “Ok, what are we putting you in?” She made herself right at home. “You gotta show a little skin.”
“Darcy!” Camryn scolded.
“For Christ sake, she doesn’t have to dress like a skank, just like an arm would be good. Maybe show she has a neck. Ohh, this brown top you have would bring out her eyes.” Darcy held up two shirts, one being a
