Starting the car, I make my way to Sherri’s, I haven’t seen her since the drinking game at Brady’s so I need a catch up. Pulling up to her house I’m confused when I see Gavin’s red Clio in the driveway.
Strange, they don’t normally hang out alone.
Knocking on the door, I can hear Sherri laugh at something as she opens it “Becks! I was just about to ring you to see where you were” she says opening the door to let me in, walking inside I take off my shoes, her mum would kill me if I trapsed mud in here “Yeh sorry, I had to drop my car off at Lizzies to be fixed. Brady is looking at it later for me” I say as we walk into the front room. Gavin is on the sofa scrolling through his phone “Hey Becks” he says as I sit down, I give him a small wave as Sherri enters the room with a drink in hand, she passes me it and starts chatting about her day as if we haven’t seen each other in ages. We chat about her and Gavin becoming good friends, she assures me later on when Gavin leaves that it is purely platonic, which relieves me. In my mind, her and Brady belong together, they just can’t see it yet.
After watching movies with Sherri and catching up I end up sleeping over, I don’t fancy coming across my mum tonight. Sherri lends me some pjs and finds a charger for my phone, plugging it in we settle in her king size bed. Ever since I could remember we’ve had sleep overs at her house, talking until the early hours, it was my freedom from being caged at home. A little while later, she goes quiet for a little while, which is weird for her.
“Becks can I ask you something and you tell me the truth?” she asks when we turn off the lights “Er yeh Shez of course you can” I reply. I’ve got a bad feeling about where this is going “Where did you get that black eye? Because it’s not the first time I’ve seen marks on you. You think you can cover them, but I notice. I was waiting for you to tell me on your own but then Reid asked me about it, and I thought if he didn’t know, then you may never tell me” she admits, I feel like I can’t breathe, she’s seen the bruises! How did I really think I could hide them from her, she’s my best friend, she notices everything, and Reid has asked about them?
“It’s nothing Sherri. I’ve been trying some new moves while freestyling and I fell, that’s all” I tell her. I hate lying to her, but she wouldn’t understand why I haven’t gone to anyone about my mum “Beck’s I’m calling bullshit, I’ve been with you to the studio before. You are never clumsy, its actually the only time you are graceful” she says with a snort “I have never once seen you fall dancing before. You’ve used that lie one to many times now” she pauses “I need to know Beck’s. I want to help you” she pleads, she can’t help me, no one can anymore. I’ve wanted to tell her for years, I feel like a weight is pressing down on me. Back then, I could cope with the violence and disgusting names my mum called me, but I had Reid back then to tell me I’m beautiful, that he loves me. Being back here in my hometown, I’m struggling to cope on my own “You want the truth?” I ask her “Yes I want the truth, that’s all I’ve ever wanted. I used to believe your stories when I was younger, but we are adults now” she says with irritation “Is it your mum?” she floors me by asking, I guess I’m not as good at covering as I thought “Why would you think it’s my mum?” I ask in a panic. I can’t believe she’s asked that, how can she be so on the money when I’ve spent most of my life learning how to hide it “You think this little town doesn’t talk Beck’s. I often hear about your mum in pub embarrassing herself. I just didn’t bring it up because I thought you would tell me” she says. She’s hurting I didn’t confide in her, how can I make her understand that I didn’t want the police to take me away when I was younger. My mum screamed in my face enough times after smacking me that I would end up In care if I told anyone, she would tell me horror stories as a child that I would be sent to someone’s house where they would …… force men on me, as well as other things. She made me terrified about ever speaking up, but Sherri is right, I’m an adult now, I’m 20 for Christ sakes, why am I still hiding.
In that moment, all I want to do is tell her, spill every little detail about my life, just so I have someone.
it’s time to tell.
“You’re right. It’s my mum” I whisper “She’s been drinking heavily for as long as I can remember and sometimes slaps me. But it’s when she’s almost sober that she hits me where you can’t see” I finally admit, I feel like a weight has come off of my shoulders “It’s been happening for a
