Reece took her aside at school to warn her, same as Jackie had. He said Chris had a lot more experience than she did. She asked if he trusted Chris, the same question she’d asked Jackie.
“It’s not so much whether I trust him,” Reece said. “It’s more about if I can trust you.” He saw she was angry and said, “You know you’ve lived . . . in a different way than most kids. Your normal isn’t the same as his normal. You know what I mean?”
She saw no reason to reply. He was stating the obvious.
“He’s been with girls, and you’ve never been with a guy.”
“So what? There has to be a first time for everyone.”
“I know. But he might assume things and go too quickly. You’ll think you have to . . .”
“I’m not stupid, Reece!”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’m just worried about you. Chris is—he’s been kind of obsessed with you. You should know that.”
“Obsessed?”
“Yeah. For a long time. Didn’t you see it?”
“No.”
“Well, we all did. He knew we thought he was too old for you, so you know what he did? He waited for your birthday to ask you out. You turned fifteen—which sounds a lot older than fourteen—and he won’t be eighteen until August. So numbers-wise, you’re only two years apart. How ridiculous is that? He actually thought that made a difference.”
“It’s not ridiculous.”
“He planned it out.”
“Why is that so bad?”
“Because it shows he’s kind of nuts about you.”
“Would I want to be with a boy who isn’t nuts about me?” She thought of Jackie. Of all the boys she knew, he was the one she’d wanted to give her a first kiss, but he certainly wasn’t nuts about her.
“Just go slow, okay?” Reece said.
“Okay.”
He held up his hand. “Still friends, Bird Girl?”
“Of course.” She slapped his hand.
Reece’s speech had the opposite effect from what he’d wanted. She now trusted Chris more. The next time they went out after school, he took her to an abandoned house he thought was cool. They made out a lot in there. She let him touch her under her shirt.
Spring break came, and they had to stop seeing each other for a week. Raven missed the excitement of going out with Chris. Her life with Mama felt dull in comparison. She would replay her best moments with Chris, but for some reason that often made her think about Jackie. It bothered her a little that she couldn’t stop her thoughts about Jackie from intruding into those reveries.
The following Monday at lunch, Chris whispered, “I missed you.”
“Me too,” she said.
“Did your mom say anything about the videos over spring break?”
“No.”
“She must not look at the cameras.”
Raven had come to the same conclusion. The five times she’d been with Chris after school, the videos would have shown that she didn’t take the bus home. But Mama hadn’t said anything, even those times she was home when Raven arrived later than usual.
“Let’s go out today,” Chris said.
“Okay.”
“Where do you want to go?”
She noticed Jackie staring at her from across the lunch table. “I liked the old house,” she whispered.
“Yeah?”
“I liked it a lot.”
They returned to the abandoned house after school. The afternoon was cool and rainy. Chris spread the blanket on the wood floor, and they used his sweatshirt and coat for a pillow. He lay on top of her as he kissed her. He put his hand in her shirt and pushed his pelvis down on her. She knew he wanted to have sex. And the more he touched her, the more she wanted to. But sex education made her think she shouldn’t. She might make a baby or get AIDS.
That day, she got home later than ever. Mama was waiting for her. She smiled in a strange way as Raven came in the door. Raven’s heart beat fast. She knew that look. It meant her mother was about to do something she probably wouldn’t like.
“Good day at school?” Mama asked.
“Yes.”
“How is biology going?”
“Good,” Raven said, hanging her coat on the peg.
“Is it mostly human biology right now?”
“No. We’re doing dissections.”
“Have you learned about reproductive isolation yet?”
Raven couldn’t recall learning that phrase.
“It means unlike species can’t produce offspring,” Mama said. “For example, a dog can’t make babies with a cat.”
“I don’t think we learned about that yet.”
Mama nodded and turned back to something she had cooking on the stove.
During dinner, they didn’t talk much. Raven was nervous. Mama stared at her more than usual. Maybe she was perceptive enough to feel what Raven had been doing in the abandoned house. Maybe she could even smell Chris on her.
When Raven got up to clear the dishes, Mama said, “Sit, Daughter.”
She sat.
“Do you like this boy?”
Raven tried to keep her panic from showing. “What boy?”
Mama had a wry smile. “The boy who drove you home today and five other days.”
Raven didn’t know what to say. Her mother’s casualness confused her.
“What is his name?”
“Chris. Chris Williams.”
“Are you having sex with him?”
“No!”
“Have you kissed him?”
She wanted to cry. Talking about it with Mama would ruin it.
“I suppose you have,” Mama said.
Raven looked down at her empty plate.
“I’m not angry,” Mama said. “It’s a natural part of growing up. Raven or human, the urge to create new life will be an undeniable force.”
“That’s not why I’m with him.”
“It is, but social conventions make you say otherwise. In the time when humans were one with other creatures of the earth, a girl your age would already have a baby. She would likely become pregnant shortly after she bled.”
“I’m not going to get pregnant,” Raven said.
“I know,” Mama said. “That’s why we’re having this discussion. I want you to feel relaxed with this boy. Have sex with him if you wish. Your body can’t make a baby with him.”
Raven was too shocked to respond.
“Reproductive isolation,” Mama said. “You and Chris are two unlike species. There can be no
