Swallowing, Livy asked, “What happened next?”
“Beatrice begged me to stop, told me this was not what she wanted, but I was obsessed with righting the wrong done to her. I had Griggs in the corner, and I wasn’t about to stop until he had lost everything. Several weeks later, I had my wish: Griggs was found dead in his flat. He had hung himself, but I was the one who put the noose around his neck.”
Hadleigh’s dark confession sent ripples of shock through Livy. Yet she also knew him…and no matter how hot-headed and arrogant he might have been as a youth, she knew that he had not meant for this fellow Griggs to die. Even now, anguish was written over his features, shadows of remorse swallowing up the blue of his irises. He stared off into space, statue-still save for the shallow heaves of his chest. It was as if he were trapped in that time, cursed to relive his actions over and again.
Livy reached for one of his hands again. Surprised to find how cold he was, she chafed his large palm between both of hers.
“What you did was wrong,” she said. “But you did not mean to kill Griggs, did you?”
“No.” Hadleigh’s reply was hoarse, his gaze sheened with moisture. “I was hell-bent on destroying his happiness the way he had destroyed that of Bea and my family, but I didn’t think that he would…” He jerked his hand from hers, clenching it into a fist. “It seems impossible now that I did not consider the consequences of cornering Griggs the way I did. Of forcing a man into a situation so desperate that he would see only one means of escape.”
“You were young and rash,” she said quietly, “and Griggs had hurt your sister and your family. While that does not excuse your actions, I can understand your anger.”
“I cannot tell you how many times I’ve asked myself, Why didn’t you see what was coming? How could you push this man into taking his own life? What the bloody hell were you thinking?” Hadleigh’s voice was as choppy as a tempest-tossed sea. “And I have no answers, nor will I ever.”
Livy said nothing. There was nothing she could say. All she could do was sit by Hadleigh’s side and share his burden the best she could.
“There is more,” he said. “Griggs had children, a legitimate son with his wife and a bastard daughter with his mistress. I sent money to support the boy, anonymously of course, but I lost track of the daughter. She emerged several years ago and was behind a nefarious plan to hurt Beatrice. To destroy my sister, the way I had her father. She nearly succeeded, too.”
Livy’s heart wrenched at the guilt in Hadleigh’s eyes.
“How horrible,” she whispered.
“If anything had happened to Beatrice…” He shoved both hands through his hair, his elbows planting on his knees. He stared at the carriage floor. “During the fight to save my sister, Griggs’s daughter fell off a high platform, and I grabbed onto her. I was the one responsible for this cycle of revenge, and I wanted to save her, to stop the violence I’d started. I told her to hold on, but she looked up at me and smiled and…and then she let go.”
Livy shuddered at the harrowing image. The words he’d said to her that fateful day at the pond surfaced.
Not you too. Bloody hold on, do you hear me?
Had he been thinking of Griggs’s daughter, the woman who had chosen violence and death over his help? Whose choice had destroyed his attempt at atonement?
Overwhelmed by the tragedy of the story, Livy sat bogged in heavy silence. Her throat thickened at the thought of all that suffering. Suffering that, she realized, had never really ended for Hadleigh. All the years she had known him, he had held this inside. Had been hurting in ways she could not have begun to fathom as a child.
I wish I could have grown up faster. Her eyes heated. Then I could have taken better care of you, my dearest friend and love.
“In truth, I killed not one person, but two.” Hadleigh’s face was taut with self-loathing. “That is the kind of man I am. A bloody murderer. Now do you wish to be with me?”
“Yes.” Her voice quivered, not because of uncertainty but the opposite.
“Devil take it, Livy! Just once, don’t be so goddamned stubborn.” Rage and anguish smoldered in his eyes. “You should want nothing to do with me.”
“That will never happen,” she said firmly. “You made a mistake—a grievous error that led to tragic consequences. But you were younger than I am now when this all started, and it is obvious that you repent your actions. You take responsibility for what you did. You have tried, to the best of your ability, to make amends. What more can you do?”
“Nothing.” The word dripped with frustration and pain. “I can never change what I did.”
“Exactly. The only thing you can do is learn from your mistakes,” she said earnestly. “According to my mama, a mistake can be forgiven if one makes proper amends.”
A ghost of a smile flitted over his mouth. “You told me that the day I rescued you.”
“Because it is true. And regardless of what you have done, you will always be my hero.” She touched his arm, his muscles bulging at the contact. “Because I know who you are, Hadleigh. The true you. That is why I love you and why I will always be here by your side.”
The longing that rippled over his handsome features hugged her heart. She recognized that she’d always felt the desire to take care of him. To look out for him, the way he looked out for her. As a girl, she’d cheered him up and eased his solitude. As a woman, she could do so much more…if he would only let her.
“My little queen.” His voice jagged,
