“Alas, since your dance card was full, I had to make do with substitutes,” he said.
After a moment, she wrinkled her nose. “Does that flummery work with ladies?”
The strange tension dissipated. He hid a smile. “Usually. But they are not as clever as you.”
“As Mama likes to say, clever is as clever does,” she muttered. “Which makes me singularly stupid at times.”
“Why do you say that? Having trouble with an anagram?”
He went over to her, glancing down at the table just as her hands went to cover the letters. It was too late, however. The hairs on his nape stirred at what he saw spelled out:
FALLING IN LOVE.
Her cheeks rosy, she said, “I was playing around. It’s just a stupid game.”
Who in blazes is she thinking about? Ben wondered.
She’d been surrounded by a herd of young bucks this evening, but no one of note. No one that Ben would deem worthy of her. The idea of Livy throwing herself away on some lordling or frivolous fop roused his protective instincts.
“Take it from me: love is not a game,” he said firmly. “And should never be treated as such.”
She stared at him, chewing on her bottom lip. He burned to know what she was thinking about. Hopefully not some undeserving bastard.
She sighed. “I don’t think I’m ready for love quite yet.”
For some reason, he felt like a prisoner who’d been issued a stay of execution.
He strove for a lighter tone. “You aren’t missing much anyway. May I?”
She moved aside so that he could fiddle with the letters, rearranging them. When he was done, she laughed in her old, carefree way, and he smiled at her, savoring the moment…and his rather clever reordering of the letters in FALLING IN LOVE:
FILLING A NOVEL.
Present Day
Livy woke from a deep sleep. As the vestiges of a marvelous dream fell away, she saw a dark shape at the foot of her bed, limned by the rosy glow of the hearth. The night returned to her in a flash of pure joy. It hadn’t been a dream.
Ben was here, and he’d made love to her. Made her his. Afterward, he’d cuddled her, and she’d drifted off to his whispers of love.
It was still dark out, and she felt a frisson of unease at his posture, which conveyed that he was deep in thought. In her experience, nighttime rumination was rarely a good thing. She pushed aside the blankets, moving over to him. He turned, the stark set of his features softening. When he held out an arm to her, she got under it, snuggling into his warmth. He’d thrown on his shirt without buttoning it, and she savored the contact with his rippling muscles.
She could hardly believe that this magnificent male was hers. She felt giddy and a wee bit smug. But mostly, she was grateful to Fate for giving her what she’d always longed for: her soul mate.
He slanted her a look. “How are you feeling?”
“I feel wonderful.”
At her prompt reply, his lips twitched. “You are not sore?”
She ran her mind over the part in question. “Perhaps a little. But in a good way…like after vigorous exercise.”
“I hope I wasn’t too vigorous.” Grooves formed around his mouth, and the shadows in his eyes confirmed that she had been right about his somber mood. “It was your first time, Livy, and I should have been gentler.”
“I loved every moment of being with you,” she said with emphasis. “If you were any gentler, I would have complained.”
“Well, we couldn’t have that.” Despite his light reply, his demeanor remained serious.
Hesitantly, she asked, “You don’t regret making love to me…do you?”
If he did, she couldn’t bear it. Her bubble of giddiness burst, and she suddenly felt young and unsure. At the time, giving her virginity to the man she loved had felt right…but now the enormity of what had transpired washed over her in an unsettling wave.
“God, no.” He curled a finger beneath her chin, making her meet his gaze. “Livy, being with you…I cannot tell you how special it is. How special you are to me. If I regret anything, it is that I did not treat you with the respect you deserve. What happened between us should have taken place on our wedding night, not after I’d spent the night…”
He drew his brows together, and she finally understood. Relief filled her that he didn’t regret making love to her; he felt guilty about the Hellfire Club. She wished she could tell him that she knew about Cherise Foxton and understood why he’d done what he’d done, but she had to talk to Charlie first.
If I have to keep up the pretense to protect the man I love, I will, she vowed.
“Did you have a bad night?” she ventured.
He gave a tight nod. “It was bloody awful. It reminded me of who I used to be, and I…I am ashamed of that man. He is not good enough for you.”
“You are not that man any longer. You’ve changed,” she argued. “And it doesn’t matter anyway because I love the man that you’ve always been when you’re with me. I love your strength, your good heart, the way you protect me and order me around.”
Wonder glittered in his gaze.
Clearing his throat, he said, “Like being ordered around, do you?”
“Only when we’re making love,” she clarified. “In bed, I do not mind being the novice. In life, however, I want us to be partners.”
“You are not the only novice, you know.”
She tilted her head.
“It is true that I have more experience in bedroom matters than you. But when it comes to love, real love, the kind that owns and completes you, that perseveres and never fails…” He tucked a tress behind her ear, his knuckles brushing tenderly against her cheek. “It turns out that I am a novice too.”
33
Later that afternoon, Livy convened with Charlie and the other Angels in the study. Charlie was sitting
