But it wasn’t as nice as stripping down after a long week and sliding into that deep tub, letting the hot water lap around my chest while the jets hit that spot on my lower back that had been bothering me all week from carrying heavy boxes at work.
It was amazingly blissful, and I closed my eyes, soaking for a long moment before I poured myself a glass of chilled white wine and sipped at it.
When I got the money at the end of this marriage, I was going to have to get one of these tubs. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so boneless and relaxed, and my head was blessedly empty of all the things I’d been worrying about.
Killian was with his mother, Simon was back in the city, my parents were a plane ride away, and there was nothing in that moment but me and the tub, and I could so easily get used to it.
Chapter 9
Ashlyn
I must have drifted off a little, from the hot water or the wine, because the next time I opened my eyes, it was to see Killian standing over the tub, giving me an amused look.
I jumped, nearly dropping the wine glass in my hand, and then when it registered he wasn't a murderer, but the owner of the house, I scowled at him.
"Make some fucking noise next time, Christ."
He just laughed, but once again, the humor didn't reach his eyes. I wondered if his dinner with his mom had been more stressful than he imagined. "I did," Killian said. "I called out to you when I got in the door, and you didn't answer. I came to make sure you hadn't drowned in here."
"How did you even know I'd be in the bath?" I asked.
"Call it a hunch. Are you alright?"
I nodded, reaching up and dragging a wet hand through my hair. "Yeah. I'm fine. I must have dozed off for a bit. This tub is my favorite thing this house."
"I thought you would appreciate it." He leaned against the counter, and there was something heavy about his posture.
"Are you alright?" I asked, throwing the question back at him.
His eyes found mine, and I could see he was considering just brushing it off. And that was fine, honestly. We were... whatever we were, but that didn't mean we had heart to hearts about our emotions or whatever. He wasn't obligated to tell me anything.
But to my surprise, he sighed and leaned back onto his hands, using them to pull himself up and onto the counter.
"My mother is a horror," he said finally. "That's all."
"Was she particularly brutal today?" I asked him.
Killian nodded. "She usually prefers to have lunch, so she can have the rest of her day away from me, so the change to dinner didn't sit well with her."
I rolled my eyes. "Oh no, forced to have a late meal with her son. How ever will she cope?"
He laughed, and it was a little bitter. "By being bitter and biting through the whole thing. Apparently, the reason no one wants to get close to me, despite the fact that I have good breeding and a six-figure income is because my personality is... how did she put it? Oh yes, 'as appealing as a platter of wet fish on a hot day.’"
"Jesus," I said. It was funny, but kind of horrible for a mother to say to her son, when it came down to it. "What did you do to piss her off?"
"I remind her of my father and at the same time, I'm not him. She hates that, I think."
I'd never seen him so vulnerable before, admitting things about his family the way he was. Usually he played it off as a joke, told me he didn't care. He just wanted his father's money, and his mother was a cranky old bat he had to put up with and enjoyed teasing.
But in that moment, I could see how heavily it weighed on him.
Killian had a lot of money, that was true. He was handsome and funny and smart, and he could walk into any room and immediately leave with whoever he wanted for the most part. I think I had assumed before that it was all he wanted out of life, but it was just occurring to me that maybe he was a bit lonely, too.
I had my parents, and for all they could be irritating and nosy and rude, they loved me. If I'd had to move home with my tail between my legs because of the money situation, they would have been there for me, no questions asked. It would have been painful, for sure, but I had never doubted they would help.
Killian didn't have that. He didn't even seem to have close friends who would be there for him if he needed it.
Maybe within the kink community he did, but there seemed to be a sort of separation between what happened at the club and at events and what went on in real life.
Killian just had me, I was realizing. I was like a link between his kinky lifestyle and his real life, and it was startling and a little strange to put that together.
I'd never asked for it, but it was happening all the same.
"You look like you could use some wine," I said to him, reaching down to brandish the bottle at him. "There's some cheese and stuff, still, too."
He smiled, and it was a little lopsided. "I'll pass on the cheese because I was just force-fed roast pheasant like we live in the eighteen-hundreds, but I will take you up on the wine."
He took the bottle from me and drank directly from it, and I laughed, a little delighted at seeing him be so improper.
"What do you think of the house?" he asked once he'd swallowed.
"I'm a huge fan of the tub. I don't know why you'd need a ballroom, though."
"You never
