"Fine," he said. "Noted. I never said you were."
"But that's how you meant it."
"No, it isn't," he bit out. "You don't know what I meant."
"Because you suck at saying it," I muttered. "And I think I know more than you're giving me credit for. Because I'm not yours, but you want me to be."
And that was the kicker. Surprise and confusion and a little bit of tiredness were all there for me to see in Killian's eyes. For one of the first times since I'd met him, he wasn't hiding behind his rich, handsome man mask.
He was standing in front of me, a mess of emotions, and I had to admit I liked it. It made him seem more human, more real. Less like he was just a bunch of desirable traits in a trench coat and more like he was someone I could reach out and touch.
So, I did.
Chapter 17
Ashlyn
I reached out, and I put a hand on his arm. "Say it," I told him. "Say it and then prove it."
It was every bit a challenge. I knew Killian. I'd come to know him pretty damned well over the last almost seven months. He wasn't good with words that meant anything more underneath than what they were on the surface, and he didn't do feelings well.
From what I knew of his upbringing, I couldn't blame him for that. So I was giving him an out if he wanted it. He could tell me I was wrong, send me away, and we'd never have to talk about it again. At the end of this, we would go our separate ways, and even if I didn't end up with Simon, I would end up with someone who wasn't Killian.
Or he could lean into it and do what he did best, and then maybe we'd see where it could go from there.
I waited, almost not breathing, to see what he was going to choose.
He moved his arm from under my hand and grabbed my wrist. Instead of yanking me in closer, he closed the distance by coming to me, backing me up until I felt the cool glass of the window at my back.
He leaned down, pressing the advantage of his height over me, and I swallowed hard, suddenly consumed with nothing but him.
"I want you to be mine," he murmured, voice low and deep, almost touchable as it shivered over me. "I don't want anyone else to ever touch you. I want to be the only one who knows how to you taste, how you beg, how you fall apart."
My breath caught with the way he was talking to me. It was like he was whispering the words right into my ear and they were traveling down and making me wet.
I knew he meant them, was the thing. He wasn't just saying it because it was dirty talk and it got both of us hot. There was sincerity there, and I didn't know if that made it better or worse, but I was turned on either way.
I swallowed hard again, mouth suddenly very dry.
He let go out of my wrist and skated his fingers up my body until they were right at my neck.
His fingers danced over the skin there, tickling just a bit, before he settled his hand heavy and sure in the same position a collar might have gone, keeping me pinned against the window with that hand and the rest of his body.
"Is that what you want to hear?" he continued. "That I want to be the only one who ever gets to touch you like this and make you lose your mind with desire?"
I nodded, and then stopped. Shook my head.
Killian frowned, and I spoke before he could get upset. "I... I want to hear that," I said. "But I also want to hear you say that you want me to be the only one you do those things to."
That was another facet of it, but if we were going to do this, then we were going to do it fairly, goddammit, and I had to say it before I got lost in the way he made me feel and started agreeing to anything just to make him keep touching me. He had talented hands and was far too good at making me lose my train of thought with them.
He looked a bit surprised, which was honestly his own fault, and then he smiled, dipping his head for a moment so I couldn't see his face.
When he looked back up, he was still smiling, and his eyes were hot with desire.
God. It wasn't even fair.
"Alright," he agreed. "Deal. I want that. Because no one makes it as good as you do. Did you know that? The way you react. The way you're so bright and so determined. The way you melt into it when you finally let yourself give in. I have never felt that with anyone else."
I was sure my cheeks were pink with embarrassment, and I ducked my head a bit, only to have him use the hand at my neck to lift my head back up. "No," he said. "Don't hide from me."
I whined softly, and even a casual order like that was enough to have me groaning internally while my pussy throbbed with need.
I had no idea how he always managed to be so damned hot all the time.
"I didn't expect you to agree that easily," I mumbled, and he grinned.
"I can be very reasonable when I want to be." And then he was leaning in, closing the distance between us in a hot kiss.
And there it was. There it was, that spark of heat and longing and needing that had been missing when I kissed Simon. It was impossible to ignore, burning where our lips touched and then racing down through me, tingling down my spine and ending up firmly between my legs, making my need even more noticeable.
I moaned softly, just from the start of a
