Instead I listened to the pounding of my heart and the way my breathing was ragged and choppy, how I sucked in a breath each time he hit me and then let it out in a messy sigh.
The fire of my ass was spreading down between my legs, and my clit was positively throbbing with the need for attention.
I knew Killian wasn't going to fuck me on stage because that was against the rules, and we'd already discussed that I didn't want anyone to see that.
But there was always the option to go downstairs and get a private area after this.
I didn't think I was going to be able to go home without him fucking me and taking care of the issue he'd caused between my legs.
I knew he'd be only too happy to take care of it.
Once he was done with the spanking, he gave my ass one last squeeze and stepped back, giving me a chance to breathe.
I was flooded with gratitude for that because I needed the break. Both because my ass was still on fire and because I felt like I was getting overwhelmed with sensation.
Killian left me there, still bent over the table and walked over to the edge of the platform from what I could hear. He went back to talking to the crowd, charming them with his words and his turns of phrase, and I let it fade into the background while I tried to get a hold of myself.
I was wet and needy, but that didn't mean I had to turn into a mewling slut right in front of all these people I didn't know.
If Killian and I came back here to do something like that again, I didn't want them to remember me for that.
It was embarrassing, even as it was pretty hot, and I was learning that I was just apparently going to feel like that about most of the things we did together in this context.
And that was fine. There was something to be said for trying new things and not letting fear get the better of you. I'd always tried to be the kind of person who didn't back away from things just because they were new and scary, and it made sense that this was no exception.
It had taken longer to get over the parts of it that I didn't think were worth dealing with, but overall, I felt like I'd learned a lot, and had come into my own.
There was still a lot to learn, I was sure.
Killian's footsteps alerted me to the fact that he was walking back to me, but he didn't touch me again. Instead, I heard him rummaging on the table for something, probably something else to hit me with, and I knew whatever it was, it was going to be the thing that sent me over the edge into too much.
I was already riding that fine line, the pain and the pleasure just this side of too much, and whatever he was going to do to me was going to be the final strike.
I braced myself for it, trying to think like him and anticipate what he might do.
In the middle of my thinking, I ended up screaming out as the hard, flat surface of a paddle smacked right across my whole ass, jarring me from my thoughts and hurting like a motherfucker.
The wooden paddles were so hard to take. The heaviness of them made them pack twice the punch they might have originally, and I knew I wouldn't be able to take many strokes from it.
Probably Killian was building up to the grand finale where he took me apart on stage and proved once again that he was some kind of golden god when it came to BDSM and getting submissive women to cry for him.
I gritted my teeth, wanting to rebel against that on instinct, but then I remembered I didn't have to, and it was okay to let my feelings out. It was part of the process.
When he hit me again, the sound that came out of my mouth was closer to a sob, and Killian stopped, leaning over me once more.
"Okay?" he asked.
I nodded, sniffling and trying to find my words.
He put a comforting hand on my back. "You've got five of these. Can you handle it? Can you be good for me and tough it out?"
Five. I could definitely take five. I was already two down, and though I was in a lot of pain, that pulsing desire from between my legs was still definitely present, reminding me that I didn't hate this as much as I could pretend I did.
I wondered if I could get off just from him hitting me, letting myself lose it front of all these people.
The other women he did it to always seemed like they were in a state of bliss, carried away from their worries and pain by the pleasure of Killian's attention.
I supposed I couldn't blame them.
"Yes," I finally said. "I can take it."
I could hear the smile in his voice. "Good girl. I knew you could. You're incredible like that."
There was pride there, and that made me feel proud. I was still new to all of it, but Killian believed in me, and that made me want to prove him right. Which was, admittedly, a new sensation.
The blindfold made everything more intense, but it also acted like a shield between me and everyone else. No one needed to know that it was soaking up the tears that had leaked from my eyes, and no one needed to know how wet I was from the spankings.
When Killian brought the paddle down for the third time, it was even harder, and I nearly shrieked with the pain, fingers curling into fists.
It was almost enough to dampen the pleasure, almost.
But then Killian dragged his nails down my back, making me shiver and
