She steps out of the room before I can process that bombshell. I should run after her and demand that she answer all my questions, now, but I’m too upset and exhausted to move.
I did respect my mom’s ability to get us away from Dad and into the beautiful house across the country. Maybe for the first time since I was a little girl, I’d respected her for this. Turns out it wasn’t her at all.
And I’m no better than her.
I fell for Raf the instant he seduced me, barely making him work for it at all. Be cruel to me and I’ll still have sex with you if you touch me just right. Now he has more to hold over my head and I’m just another notch in his belt.
I don’t go to school the next day and I don’t leave my room. My mom brings me a sandwich and a drink in the afternoon. She eyes me warily as she sets the plate by the bed.
“You feeling okay today?” she asks.
“I’m fine.” My head hurts and I didn’t sleep, but she’s the last person I want to talk to right now. “You?
“Doing okay.” She nods. She winces when she reaches out to open the drapes. She must be lying too. “If you’re fine, you’ll need to go to school tomorrow.”
“I’ll need my uniform, more clothes for around here, and underwear. And my makeup…” I clench my teeth together and take a drink.
“I’ll go to the house with Stefen in a little while. Anything else you want me to grab?”
“I need my laptop and my backpack. You’re obviously running this show, so I guess whatever you want me to have.” I shrug and take a bite of the sandwich.
She sighs. “It doesn’t have to be this way.”
“No reason to be upfront and open now, Mom.” I chew the sandwich and set it down, my appetite nonexistent. “Just leave me alone. I’m tired. I’ll go to school tomorrow, just leave me alone.”
I stayed up most of the night listening for Raf and never heard him come back. Earlier, I checked to see if his car was out in the driveway, but I didn’t see it. Maybe he spent the night with Heidi and they’re all laughing about me at school today.
Ashton and Luci have texted throughout the day to see how I’m doing and to ask if I need anything. Ashton texts again at the end of school.
Ashton: I’m heading out. Can I bring a milkshake over for you?
I’d love that, but I’m just resting another day. I’ll be back tomorrow, promise.
I never told him about my run-in with the guy outside my house, so he is still going on the assumption that I’m worried about my mom and struggling to deal with Raf in this house. I don’t want to add to his concern.
I get another text a few minutes later from Laura.
Laura: You okay? I haven’t heard from you in so long.
I don’t say anything for a while. She’s usually had a sixth sense for when I’m not doing great but has been out of the loop since everything happened with Toby…which is still bothering me.
For the first time since moving here, I long for the familiarity of Vegas. I might not have had a normal life there either, but I had favorite bookstores and coffee shops that I loved. Things weren’t good at home, and when it got nuts with Luke, I at least had my spots that felt comforting and safe. I still don’t feel like I know where much is here except for school. My mom and I don’t go anywhere. I go to Ashton’s occasionally. Luci and I have gotten closer, but our big outings have been school games and Henry’s party.
I thought I was going to have a normal life when I moved here and went to school. Nothing about this is normal and none of it is what it seems. Even our move here was under false pretenses.
It’s all too much. I don’t want to be in this house or in this city. And if I don’t get into Columbia, I don’t have a plan B.
I need to come up with one, and fast.
My mom knocks a few hours later and Stefen sets down a large suitcase, a garment bag, and my backpack just inside the door. My mom lingers after he smiles and walks back out.
“If you need anything else, let me know and we’ll go back. I tried to get the makeup I’ve seen you using lately.”
“If someone’s watching our house, don’t you think they saw you come right back over here?”
“We were very cautious,” is all she’ll say. “And this house is safe.”
“If it’s so safe and ours isn’t, why were we ever there? Don’t trust him, Mom. Just…don’t.”
She gives me that long-suffering look again with the weary sigh that says I am threatening to undo her, and puts her hand on her hip. “You’ll have to trust me this time.”
I bite back my words and when she leaves, I open the suitcase. It’s got more in it than I expected. My clothes are carefully folded and I open it wider, expecting to see my uniforms. Instead, it’s at least a week’s worth of clothes, mostly lounge clothes. Inside the garment bag are all of my uniforms, and my backpack has my laptop and the books I brought home from school. I go online and work on the day’s missed assignments before I take another shower. I put on a tank and shorts and crawl into bed. I found sheets in the dresser earlier and changed the sheets, so at least I feel more removed from Raf than I did yesterday.
After I go to sleep, I wake up in the night and feel like someone is in my room. I sit up, looking around wildly. No one is there,
