Chapter Twenty-Three
BIRDIE
I don’t sleep. There is no sense in even trying. Instead, I stare at the ceiling and wonder if I’ll ever be able to communicate with Dru or if I’ll just be able to hear her conversations in my head.
Not being able to communicate with her is going to suck ass. Not that it doesn’t already, but I was hoping that if I could communicate with her, then she could help me figure a way out of here.
Because I want to go home.
I thought that I could learn to be okay here. Maybe I’d be able to find Sybilla and Liv someday soon and then they could maybe take me away from this fucking asshole, but now, I just want to leave.
I’ve hurt him and I don’t blame him for being upset, but he doesn’t want me. I’m this thing that was thrust upon him and I just want to make life easier for the both of us and get away from him.
Turning to my side, I watch the sun rise through the window, bathing my room with its warm glow. I haven’t had even a wink of sleep and I know I should feel exhausted, and I do, but it’s more mental than it is physical.
Placing my hands beneath my cheek, I continue to just watch the room fill with the yellow-orange glow of the rising sun. A new day. A new dawn. Another moment to feel inadequate. Another day of starving.
The door opens, but I don’t bother lifting my head. I know that it’s Martha here to help me bathe and dress for the day. What kind of life is this where I need help dressing? It’s ridiculous.
Self-sufficiency is my new goal.
I’m going to ask Martha for help, in a new way. She’s not my maid and it’s silly that she helps me as much as she does, because I have a feeling she has plenty to do around here without being my lady-in-waiting.
Rolling onto my back, I push myself up to sitting, my eyes are closed as I let out a yawn and only when I’m fully seated upright do I open my eyes. I should have opened them sooner. My lips part and my eyes widen at the sight in front of me.
It’s Colt, his legs braced apart, his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes narrowed on me, and he’s unmistakably wearing what he wore last night. Closing my lips, I press them together, and narrow my own gaze at him.
“May I help you?” I ask.
He tilts his head to the side. I realize, without him saying a word that he must have spoken with those monk looking guys and he knows something. I’m not sure what he knows, but it’s something and my heart starts to race.
“Martha will be in. You’re to be ready to go in an hour’s time.” I watch him spin on the heels of his boots and walk toward the door.
“Colt,” I call out.
He stops, but only looks back over his shoulder at me. “What did they say?”
His gaze holds mine, then he shakes his head once. “Get dressed,” he says softly, then walks out of the door leaving me alone.
Martha appears a few moments later with the bathtub. I’m too lost in the way he looked at me, almost hauntingly, then walked away. I’m in a complete daze as she quietly goes through the steps of readying me for the day, so much so, that I completely forget to ask her to help me be more self-sufficient.
Usually, during this time, we take a moment to just chat with one another, especially when she’s doing my hair and such. Not today. Her silence speaks volumes and I know without a doubt that she knows something and whatever it is, it’s serious and I have never wanted to disappear more than I do right now.
None of this can be good. Between Colt taking off in anger last night and staying gone until who knows when, then those monks appearing in the middle of the night, and now I’m being summoned. Everyone seems to know that this is not a jovial kind of day—I kind of want to crawl into a hole and I really want to go back home.
One step out of the bedroom and I’m not surprised to see Jeremiah standing next to my door. Looking over at him, I wrinkle my nose, then lift my gaze up to meet his.
“He couldn’t even give you a chair?” I ask.
Jeremiah chuckles. “Sitting down on the job makes you lazy,” he announces.
Pressing my lips together, I wonder if there is some truth to that or if Colt is just an asshole. I want to believe he’s just an asshole because I’m pissed at him right now, but I don’t voice my opinions aloud.
Instead, I walk forward. Jeremiah falls in line beside me. I don’t look over to him, I look straight ahead. As much as I want to joke around with him, maybe even get to know him a bit better, I decide that this isn’t the time for that. Instead, I lift my chin in the air and walk onward.
The dining room comes into view and I’m not surprised to see it full of people, including the monks and the soldiers that are now my personal guard. Though, I’m not sure why Colt would care enough to have a guard assigned to me, it seems a bit over the top.
Colt is at the head of the table and dips his chin as soon as I walk into the room. He makes his way toward me, pulling a chair out and waits for me to sit down. I do, silently, too nervous to really be a smart-ass for the moment. I’m sure I’ll get my gumption back soon, but I
