Birdie is not Adelaide and she thinks that fact upsets me. It does not. It is unsettling that I crave to have her with me, beside me, there when I sleep and wake every single day.
Being away from her just for those few days, while the gods made it physically painful, it was nothing compared to the mental anguish and sheer loneliness that I felt. Birdie has worked her way into my heart, body, and soul in a way that I didn’t think was possible, not ever.
“Colt,” she rasps. “You don’t even like me and I refuse to be with a man who isn’t content to have just me, who isn’t faithful and devoted.”
“You think because Daisy is in this house that I have a primal urge so great that I am unable to control myself. I am a soldier, Birdie, my entire existence is built on nothing but self-control.”
Her eyes widen as they focus on mine. Loosening my grip even more around her neck, I smirk, lowering myself and touching my lips to hers.
“Complete control, in all things, darlin’.”
There is a moment of silence, a moment of just listening as our breaths fill the room, but then she speaks. Her words cause me to ache, and I have to remember that she had a whole life before me. I forget that I am not the only one who lived before we met one another. It is not just me who hurts for the past.
“I haven’t had good experiences with boyfriends and other women,” she admits softly.
My lips twitch into a small smile. “It’s a good thing that I am not a boyfriend, though I have zero idea what that term means. I am your husband, Birdie.”
Her breath hitches, her eyes widen, and her cheeks turn pink. I think about forcing her to stay in suspense about Daisy, but deciding that it is not only in her best interest, but mine as well, I tell her my plan.
“She will not return from town with me, Birdie.”
“Colt,” she whispers.
I shake my head once. “Do not think that this is how our marriage will work. That you will make threats and I will concede. I will not and you will not. However, in this instance, I had planned on dismissing her anyway, and I can understand your reasoning for being upset.”
She doesn’t say a word, instead she lifts her head and touches her mouth to mine. Her lips slide across mine, her tongue tasting them, then she slides that sweet tongue inside of my mouth, tasting me before I take over.
My body begins to ache with need, it climbs higher and higher and before I realize what’s happening, I am shedding my trousers and sliding inside of my sweet wife’s body.
I take her, owning her, the way that she does me. Before we’ve both climaxed, the cloud cover disappears and the sunlight spills into our room.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
BIRDIE
Colt leaves with that woman, and I can’t deny the stab of jealousy that slices right through me. I’m probably overreacting, but there is just something about this woman, a prostitute, living under this roof that I have a serious issue with.
Instead of burying my head beneath the bedding and being depressed all day long, I decide to look around his room, mainly because I simply cannot help myself, then I see it. I don’t know how I’ve missed it, but I have.
There is a single blue ribbon wrapped around the leg, but there, in the corner of the room, is an old-fashioned camera.
Guilt crawls up my throat at the sight. I’m so angry with him, and yet…
I can’t get the camera out of my mind for the rest of the morning and eventually I force myself to get dressed for the day, with the help of Martha. But I’m consumed. Confused and consumed with thoughts of Colt, of Daisy, and of that gorgeous and thoughtful camera.
“You did the right thing,” Martha announces as she twists and pins my hair. “That Bessie Silks is a snake and she’s been lying in wait to get in this house, one way or another.”
“Why?” I ask.
She is quiet for a moment, pausing her hands in my hair, then inhales a sharp breath before she continues to do her magic. “I’m sure she has a dozen reasons, but the main one is and will always be—power.”
“And Colt has that in spades,” I whisper.
“In this country, yes.”
I don’t ask her what that means, I already know. Elias is a freaking king. And from what Sybilla told me, Liv’s husband is as well. It’s kind of bullshit that they get to be queens, and I’m just… I don’t even know what I am… the leader’s wife. It definitely doesn’t sound as cool as queen.
“What will happen now?” I chance asking.
Martha doesn’t respond immediately. I’m not sure if she even knows. Though, I have no doubt that she does. She is the guru of this entire place. She knows everything that happens here, no matter what.
“Bessie will get angry, though I’m not sure that she really has a say in anything. She’s making plenty of coin off of her women’s backs out there in the camp, and Colt could force her to leave if he truly wished to.”
Nodding, I stand as she wipes her palms on her dress, signaling that she’s finished with my hair. Turning around to face her, I look into her eyes. She’s thinking, though I’m unsure what about. I could close my eyes and try to get inside of her head, but I don’t want to do that, not with Martha. It’s too much of an invasion of privacy.
I open my mouth to ask her if she’s okay, if she needs to tell me something, but I don’t get the chance. The door swings open and I lift my head to see Florence standing there. Her eyes are wide as she finds my gaze with her own.
“What on earth happened?” she