“Look at me closely, Kelly,” I said, my groin just inches from her.
And for the first time in what felt like ages, I was left speechless. I could have taken her right there, kissed her and fucked her just like two years ago. No more bullshit, no more hiding behind fake names. Just the two of us…
And we’d seen how that had ended when it was pleasant. It would be much, much worse if we were pissed off.
But God, pulling away from her hauntingly beautiful eyes, that body of hers, knowing what her pussy felt like…
“You know who your child’s father is now,” I snarled as I yanked myself away, refusing to face her lest I dig my own grave even deeper now. “You got what you wanted. Don’t reach out to me again.”
“Are you fucking serious?” she roared—yes, roared. “She’s your daughter, Liam! Don’t you dare fucking walk out on me!”
“Why not? It’s not like I don’t know how to do it.”
“God, you fucking dick!” she yelled.
I got to the front door. Did I really want to fucking do this? Was I really going to let my own demons turn my attitude toward my baby’s mother into something completely and utterly selfish and shitty like this?
“At least I know now how to call for child support! It’ll be all you’re fucking good for!”
Yes.
I opened the door, slammed it shut behind me, and walked away as fast as I could, my hands buried in my pockets, my eyes cast low, and my heart slamming in my chest with more pain than I’d allowed myself to feel in a long fucking time.
Chapter 9: Kelly
Had that seriously just happened again?
Was I supposed to be more or less insulted that Liam had now walked out on me to my face instead of waiting for me to go to the bathroom?
Was I supposed to fucking find him again so he could be a father? Or had he just dug his own grave?
So many fucking questions swirled in my mind like a hurricane. So many fucking questions left me crippled under my own weight. I could barely make sense of any of it, and the more that I thought about it, the more pissed off I got. The more I tried to rationalize anything that Liam did, the more depressed I got.
If I were nice to myself, there did seem to be some small moments, some small flashes of empathy, vulnerability, and interest in being a father. If I really wanted to delude myself, I’d say there were some reasons for false hope.
But I knew better. I knew that a man who wanted to be a father would not have acted so selfishly. A man who wanted to meet Charlotte, even if he hated my guts, would have understood I had sole custody and would have at least played neutral with me for a chance to meet her.
Liam had said what he’d said. He’d dug his own grave. I’d paid fifty grand to my baby’s daddy to learn who he was. I couldn’t decide if it was the wisest investment of my life or the worst fucking decision I’d ever made.
At least he’d paid for the room. Hoo-fucking-ray. I might as well have gotten a small candy bar while getting run over by a car.
I stood up, my legs shaky, and headed home. It wasn’t even noon yet, and already, my entire day felt like I’d gotten fucked—and not in the good way. I didn’t want to head home and see Charlotte, knowing that she’d probably never see her father after that fuckup of a meeting. I texted the babysitter and told her to work until at least three, advising I’d pay her triple. She texted back that I’d made her day.
I was glad to have done that for at least someone.
I walked to my car and sat in the front seat, feeling numb. What did I do next, if I didn’t want to go home? I looked at my phone, aimlessly scrolling through text messages. It didn’t take long for me to figure out who I’d rant to.
“Kelly? I thought you had your meeting with Liam today.”
“Liam, or Trent?”
Emily, sounding like she was walking through an office somewhere, went silent for a few moments.
“I don’t understand. Liam is the guy I had reach out to you. Did he say Liam was an alias? I—”
“No, his real name is Liam. Trent was the name he gave me two years ago. You know, when he fucked me and knocked me up with Charlotte.”
“What?”
Emily didn’t so much say “what” as she just gasped something that sounded vaguely like “what.” I’d never heard her sound so shocked and confused. And I’d heard her get shocked at a lot of things, especially when it had to do with my mountain lifestyle.
“Wait, you banged…Liam? But he went by Trent?”
“Yeah.”
“You banged Liam.”
“Yes.”
A second passed before Emily…laughed?
“Holy shit, girl, that’s amazing. You got to bang literally the hottest man I have ever seen in my life. Mad props to you, girl.”
“Emily, I know you don’t know everything yet, so I’m being nice right now, but let me put it as delicately as I can. I fucking hate Liam’s guts right now.”
And yet, even as I said that, I still felt something for him. I refused to admit it, and I told myself it was stupid, but…it was just the heat of the moment type of thing. That had to be it. I knew what people meant when they said the opposite of love wasn’t hate, it was apathy, but by no means did that magically mean that love and hate were even close to synonyms. If they were different sides of the same coin, it was a fucking thick
