“Maybe it’s that woman.”
I let her pass, and she went into the bedroom. I followed and watched as she got dressed and refused to make eye contact with me.
“Sloane, look at me.”
She put her hands on her hips. “What?”
“Earlier, you said you couldn’t be the person who scratched when I have an itch.”
“That’s right.”
“Which means you want more.”
“I never said that.”
I walked over, grasped both her wrists, and put her hands on my hips. “How about we just start with a meal? Have dinner together?”
“Knox—”
“Is in New York City.”
“How would he feel if he knew?”
I released her hands and sat down on the bed. “I’ve asked you to be honest with me, so I will answer truthfully. He wouldn’t like it.”
“And yet, you’re still here. Still asking me to have dinner with you.”
“I can’t help it, Sloane. The idea that I could’ve died…it changed how I feel about things. How I think about them.”
She sat beside me. “I get that.”
“On our way back from Columbia, your brother asked if surviving the plane crash made me want to settle down, have kids, that kind of stuff.”
“And?”
“I can’t say I’ll ever be ready to have kids. I mean, you know as well as I do how hard it is on the families with what I do for a living.”
“You’re going back to it?”
I shrugged. “It’s too early for me to say for certain. My dad basically told me his business is mine if I want to take it over.”
“But?”
“There was a reason I didn’t go into construction and contracting to begin with. I don’t know if I see myself doing that for the rest of my life either.”
My phone rang again, and for the second time, I ignored it. I wished I’d thought to go turn it off before I followed Sloane in here.
“She’s persistent,” she mumbled.
“It’s probably a spam call.”
“Right.” She smirked. “Back to what we were talking about. I didn’t expect Knox to take on another mission so soon.”
“I didn’t either.”
“You said that almost dying changed how you feel about things. What things?”
“Putting things off until tomorrow. Denying myself.” I put my fingers on her chin and turned her head to look at me. “You.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“How about I tell you over dinner?”
“You aren’t going to relent, are you?”
I shook my head. “I’m starving.”
Sloane smiled. “I am too.”
“There’s a Moroccan place not too far from here.”
“I know it. They started out with just a food truck. Now, it’s one of the most popular restaurants in the city.”
The place, located in the public market, was packed, but it didn’t take us long to order and find a seat. Sloane got beet salad and a sweet lamb bowl while I chose the burnt-ends brisket bowl with couscous and roasted vegetables. We shared a cup of the best harissa soup I’d ever had while we waited for our entrées.
“I promised to tell you how the crash made me look at things differently.”
Sloane’s eyes met mine. “You did.”
“I can’t be passive anymore. I can’t wait for things to happen. I mean, I can, but when I do, I get frustrated. I can’t tell you how many times I found myself angry at not being able to talk to you. In the past, I would’ve let it go. Months could have gone by, and eventually, I would’ve given up.”
“I’m sorry.”
I reached over and ran my fingertip over the back of her hand. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. It’s all on me. What I can and can’t allow myself to do anymore.”
“Your life has been in danger before. How was this different?”
“The inevitability. In the past, there was always the chance that I’d overcome whatever obstacle was in front of me. It might mean I’d kill before I was killed or that I was rescued, like in Somalia. The plane going down, though, I didn’t think there was any chance we’d survive. The fact that we did, felt like a crazy miracle.”
Sloane moved her hand out from under mine and looked off in the distance. “What do you want from me, Tackle?”
“I want to spend time with you. I want to get to know who you are when you aren’t with your family.”
“I’m not different.”
“Yeah, you are. I’ve seen glimpses of it over the years. The night of the prom, the day our plane landed in DC. I saw the Sloane who isn’t just the daughter or the little sister. I want to know her better.”
“You said I know how hard the work you do can be on families. You’re right. I’ve seen it firsthand, both with you and Knox and with my dad. I’m not saying that you and I will ever be in a relationship, but the closer I get to you, the harder it will be every time I know you’re out there, facing another dangerous situation.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I worry about Knox so much.”
“And you worry about me.”
“Too much, Tackle. When your plane stopped on that tarmac, I wanted to see you more than my brother. I’m not sure either of my parents noticed, but I got the feeling your mother did.”
“I think you’re right. She said something about calling her that night if my plans changed. Since all I was supposedly doing was dropping you off at work, I thought her comment was odd.”
“I’m not the kind of person who can hide what I’m feeling, Tackle. It could even be why I’ve felt nauseous for so many days in a row. It’s like my body feels the subterfuge and wants to expel it.”
“What are you feeling about me, Sloane?”
“The same things you are. The idea that you might have died without me knowing how it felt to be intimate with you was why I was, um, a little bolder than I’ve ever been.”
Her cheeks turned pink, and she cast her gaze downward. Both things made my cock rock-hard. I held out my hand, and she put hers
