“But I don’t want you to feel like you have to make any commitments right now.”
Rather than respond, I scooted down the bed. I put my hands on either side of her belly, leaned forward, and kissed the slight protrusion. “Hey, little peanut, put in a good word with your mom for me, okay?”
Sloane rested her hand on one of mine.
I stayed where I was but looked up at her. “I want to be a part of both your lives. A big, permanent part. I understand, though, why you’d question my level of commitment or even why you think I’m only here because of this little one.” I splayed the fingers of my hand. “But it’s more than that, Sloane.”
She nodded, but her look remained skeptical. “There’s something I need to ask you.”
“Anything.”
Sloane smirked. “I can ask, right? That doesn’t mean you can answer.”
“Your security clearance is probably higher than mine.”
“About that. I’ve requested to be moved to a different division.”
I felt my shoulders tense. “Where?”
“Still here. And by here, I mean working from home.”
“Doing what?”
“Cyber. Data analysis primarily. It isn’t much different than what I do now, except I won’t have any fieldwork.”
“I like the sound of that.” I kissed her belly again. “She’s already such a good mom to you.”
“What about you, Tackle?”
“I have a job with my dad. Eventually, the business will be mine.” She didn’t look happy. “What?”
“And be miserable.” She rolled away and sat up. “I’m pregnant, so you not only give up your bachelor lifestyle, but you work a job you never intended to be a career. Don’t do this, Tackle.” Sloane grabbed a robe and walked out of the room. I followed—without a robe.
“You can switch careers, but I can’t?”
“I’m not switching careers; I’m changing divisions.” Her eyes trailed down my naked body, immediately bringing my cock back to full attention. I had to focus on our conversation, though, not on how much I desperately wanted her.
“And yet, if I said I was going to take a permanent job with K19, you’d kick me to the curb even faster.” I sounded irritated because I was.
“Is that what you want to do?”
“Does any of this really need to be decided tonight?”
“You’re the one who wanted to talk.”
My eyes scrunched. “I did?”
“You didn’t want to do anything else.”
“There’s a difference between not wanting to and trying to do the right thing.”
“Stop trying to do the right thing, Tackle.”
“What about the baby?”
Sloane walked over to the sofa’s end table and opened the drawer. She pulled out a book and flipped to a page that had been dog-eared. “According to this, it’s perfectly okay to have sex while pregnant.” She thrust it at me, but I didn’t take it.
“I trust your word,” I said with a wink.
“Is it because you don’t find me attractive anymore?”
“I’m not sure what would make you say that, but”—I made a sweeping motion across the lower half of my body—“clearly, that is not the case.” Her brow was furrowed, and I swear her lower lip was protruding. I held out my hand and, when she took it, led her back to the bedroom.
I moved the covers for the second time and motioned for her to lie down.
“I don’t want to do anything to hurt you or the baby. That was the only reason I hesitated.”
I waited for her to say something, but all she did was turn her back to me.
“Sloane? What’s going on?”
“What happened to ‘When we’re together like this, naked, whatever I tell you to do, you do’?”
“Ah, I see.” I put my arm around her waist and pulled her body flush with mine. “Did you like that, Sloane?”
She nodded.
“I need to hear the words.” I rubbed the cheeks of her bare bottom in warning.
“I liked it.”
“Liked what?”
“When you told me what to do.”
I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of her. Was there a more perfect woman for me? I doubted one could possibly exist.
“Roll over and face me, Sloane.” When she did without hesitation, my already steel-hard cock throbbed with desire. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you too.”
“Have you?”
She nodded.
“You kept me away for so long.”
Her eyes studied mine.
“Don’t ever do that again.”
She didn’t respond.
“Promise me.”
When she remained silent, I swatted her bottom.
“Promise me, Sloane.”
Her eyes filled with tears, but not from my hand on her flesh; I’d barely tapped her.
“Tell me what you’re thinking, peanut.”
“I can’t make that promise,” she whispered.
“Why not?”
She shook her head.
“Because you don’t trust me.”
She didn’t need to answer; I hadn’t phrased it as a question.
“Let’s sleep.”
“You’re angry.”
“Not at all. You were honest with me, and that is another rule I insisted on between us.”
“But you don’t want to have sex?”
“There are so many things we need to talk through, figure out, decide about. I don’t want to confuse the issues with sex. That’s different than not wanting to.”
23
Sloane
While I’d never admit it now, I knew Tackle was right. We’d gone from pseudo-friends to lovers with little communication between us. Perhaps if we’d talked more things through, I wouldn’t have spent the last three months in turmoil over what to do about the baby. Instead of having my brother with me for my doctor’s appointments, the father could have been there. The idea that I’d denied him that opportunity made me sad.
The first time I heard the baby’s heartbeat, I cried. When I saw his or her shape on the screen as the tech pressed the cold, hard ultrasound wand against my abdomen, I cried too. In fact, I’d cried more in the last three months than I had at any other time of my life, except for maybe when I was an infant.
Knox had comforted me, of course, but even then, I regretted Tackle not being with me.
I cupped his cheek like he’d done so many times with me. “I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“I’ll tell you tomorrow.”
Tackle laughed and pulled me closer to him, if that was possible. If only we could be like this
