“Because I dishonored myself.”
“I’ve seen your scars,” he said gently. “I know you fought.”
“They will say I did not fight long enough.” She looked down at her hand in the dim light, and he saw her claws flex, sharp little points catching the light. “I still have my claws. I still have my fangs. I could have killed one of them. But I didn’t.”
“Because you knew it wouldn’t have done any good. You couldn’t get away.”
“No. Because I was afraid. I was afraid they would whip me again.” She looked away from him. “It hurt so much.”
“You found a way to survive,” he said gently.
“By giving in. A Myyp should never give in.”
He shifted uneasily. He had faced a Myyp once or twice in the arena, and she was right. Even if it wasn’t a death match, a defeated Myyp would kill himself rather than surrender.
“Baahy came to me after he whipped me.” Her voice was low, as distant as her eyes. “He laughed and told me he knew I wouldn’t be any more trouble. He raped me and made me tell him that I liked it. He dared me to claw him and… I didn’t.” Her shoulders sagged. “No, I can’t go home.”
“Then you’ll go somewhere else. Or maybe you’ll like Hothrest and decide to stay there.”
“And do what? I was raised to be the wife of a warrior and the mother of his sons. I have no skills.” Her breath caught, and she pressed closer to him. Her voice turned husky. “That’s not quite true. I have one skill—I know how to please a male. I know you’re with the human, but a big, strong warrior like yourself must want a little… extra from a female who can handle all of you.”
He reared back in outrage as she reached for his cock, then heard a startled gasp. His heart sank when he saw Joan standing there, her eyes filled with tears. He jumped to his feet, desperately resisting the urge to shove Saka to the floor. “Joan, I didn’t… I wouldn’t…”
“I know.” She was looking at Saka, not at him, the tears still flowing down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry.”
Saka studied her, an odd look on her face. “Myyp can’t cry.”
“Then I’ll cry for you. Because I don’t for one second believe that the only thing you’re good for is servicing a male.”
Saka’s claws flexed again, sinking into her palms until blood appeared. Joan gave a distressed cry and rushed forward. “Don’t do that. Don’t hurt yourself.”
He gave Saka a worried glance as Joan bent over her hands, but her lips twisted. “Don’t worry, warrior. If I didn’t hurt one of them, I’m not going to hurt her.”
He wasn’t sure he agreed with her logic, but he stepped back.
“Go away, Varga. I want to talk to Saka woman to woman—I mean, female to female.”
He hesitated, then reluctantly left the room. However, he stopped outside, listening intently for any sign that his female was in distress.
“You are not angry?” Saka asked as Joan fussed over her hands.
“Yes, but I understand why you did it. And if he had agreed, then I would have known he wasn’t the right male for me.”
Was that a growl? She gave Saka a puzzled look, and for the first time, the other female’s face lightened.
“He’s outside. Listening. I suspect he doesn’t trust me.”
“Oh, for goodness’ sake. Go away, Varga!” she called. There was no response. “Did he leave?” she whispered.
“No, but it doesn’t bother me. It’s rather… sweet. No one has ever cared that much for me.”
“It is sweet. In a stalkerish way,” she added, raising her voice. “But don’t tell me there wasn’t anyone. What about your parents?”
“I see you know nothing about Myyp society. Females are not valued except for their breeding lines and their ability to bear sons.”
“Then they’re idiots and you’re better off not going back.” She bit her lip, searching for the right words. Leaning closer, she dropped her voice, hoping Varga couldn’t hear her. “I know it’s not the same. I wasn’t ever physically harmed, but I lived with a male who tried to make me believe that I was less. That I didn’t deserve better than what he chose to give me. It’s hard to get that voice out of your head.”
“Yes.” Saka shot her a quick look. “What did you do?”
“I got away from him. And just as I was figuring out how to put my life back together, the Derians took me.” She wrinkled her nose. “Not the best of luck.”
“I think your luck has changed,” Saka sent a wistful glance at the doorway through which Varga had disappeared.
“So has yours. And it isn’t dependent on a male.”
“Easy to say when you have one,” Saka said dryly.
Did she though? They really needed to talk about the future.
“You’ll find your way. We both will. And I’ll do anything I can to help you.”
“You know, I believe you. So I will do something to help you in return. Go back to your warrior before he paces a hole in the floor.”
Warmth flooded her at the knowledge that he was still waiting for her, but she didn’t jump up. “Are you going to be all right? I can stay if you want me to.”
“I’ll survive. I always do.” Saka immediately shook her head. “I didn’t mean it like that. I appreciate your concern.”
“I’m glad if it helped. We can talk more tomorrow if you’d like.”
“You’re assuming your warrior is going to let you out of bed.” Saka gave her
