“My life is not simple,” Jeremy replied softly, his eyes filled with pain. “I have a duty to my family and to a wife my father has chosen for me. My cage might be more handsome and comfortable, but it’s a prison all the same, one from which there’s no escape unless one of us dies.”
Alys nodded, her eyes filling with tears. Was anyone truly free?
Jeremy reached for the muslin-wrapped package. “I will get you another cloak, one of plain, serviceable wool.” He smiled then, his eyes glowing with affection. “Will you try it on for me? I would like to see you wear it just once.”
Jeremy unwrapped the parcel and took out the beautiful garment, draping it over her shoulders and pulling up the fur-trimmed hood. “You are so beautiful,” he whispered as he gazed down on her.
“So are you,” Alys whispered. She shouldn’t have said that, but she felt no remorse. She had been more honest about her feelings in the past few minutes than she had in years, and it felt gloriously liberating to speak the truth.
Jeremy’s smile faded, his eyes darkening with desire. He took her face in his hands and lifted it to meet his kiss. It was gentle at first, but quickly became passionate, their bodies melding until she could feel his arousal through the layers of fabric separating them. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer and opening her mouth to him as his tongue slid inside, his sensual exploration turning her legs to jelly.
Alys’s mind screamed for her to stop, to leave the room right now and return to the village first thing in the morning, but she willed it to be silent. She wanted this. Why should she save herself for someone she didn’t love, a man who’d take her virtue as his due? Surely she was entitled to a few moments of joy. And this was the most joy she’d known as a woman, she thought, as Jeremy lifted her up and carried her to his bed, the cloak fluttering to the floor like a wounded bird, its wings folding in surrender.
Alys had often wondered what it would be like to lie with a man, but the reality proved quite different from her imaginings. Jeremy’s hands were gentle, his lips hungry as he blazed a trail of kisses down her body. The world seemed to tilt, Alys’s grasp on reality fading as she gave herself up to his exploration, allowing him to do what he would. How was it possible for the pressure of warm lips, the flick of a tongue, or a gentle caress to elicit such indescribable ecstasy? Alys wondered drowsily as she opened up to Jeremy, inviting him to take the only thing of value she had to give.
The pain was fleeting, the feelings so intense she thought she’d died and gone to heaven, her body exploding into countless stars as her soul broke free of its earthly bonds. She cried out as something inside her let go, ripples of unbearable pleasure taking her breath away. Jeremy looked down at her, his eyes clouded with passion, his breathing ragged as he watched her pleasure.
Afterward, Alys felt as if all her bones had melted away, her body nothing but a weightless cloud of contentment. She couldn’t get up if she wanted to, so she allowed herself to sink deeper into the feather mattress, her eyes closing of their own accord. Her thoughts were like autumn leaves, floating, twirling on the breeze, then settling softly on the ground, their journey complete.
“I love you, Alys Bailey,” Jeremy whispered as she drifted off, safe in his arms.
Chapter 47
Alys woke in her own bed, her body pleasantly sore in places she’d given little thought to until last night. Instead of immediately getting out of bed and washing with the cold water from the pitcher on the stand, she allowed herself a few moments to relive last night. She felt a delicious tingling in her belly as she recalled Jeremy moving deep inside her, bringing her the kind of pleasure she’d never suspected was possible. The pragmatic side of her brain told her to take a step back, to consider the future and the repercussions of her relationship with the lord of the manor, but she was too giddy with the heady emotions of first love to think past this day. He’d said he loved her. It was a dizzying thought, and she embraced it, refusing to question its veracity.
Stretching luxuriously, Alys decided not to allow mundane worries to ruin her happiness. It had been so unexpected that she wanted to cherish every moment and remember it fondly should Jeremy not wish to see her again. How did he feel this morning? Alys wondered as she began to dress. Did he long to hold her, or did he regret his impetuous behavior and worry about the consequences of his actions? She’d find out sooner or later, she thought as she laced her bodice, but a worm of doubt was already writhing in her belly. If he regretted last night, he’d simply send her back to the village, using some trumped-up excuse to get rid of her. Despite his protestations that his life wasn’t simple, he was still the master of this house and would do as he pleased.
The possibility was distressing, but Alys didn’t have much time to ponder its implications. She finished getting dressed, plaited her hair and pinned it up beneath her cap, and made her way downstairs.
“Nice of ye to join us,” Mistress Helmsley remarked
