“You’re leaving?” Lory blinked up at him, hurt darkening her pretty, blue eyes.
“I can’t—” Forcing air out through his nostrils, he dropped his gaze to the ground and stowed his cell. “I can’t pretend that I don’t feel the way I do.” He scrubbed a hand over his hair. “Just like you couldn’t fake how you felt about Grey.”
She winced and turned away.
“You of all people should understand. I’m sorry.” Mentioning Grey was a dick move.
And yet, you did it anyway.
“I get it.” She gritted out. “Go. You don’t need to stay with me. I’ll be fine.”
Fuuuck. Now he wanted to kick himself. “I’ll wait.”
“Please don’t.”
He nodded.
Fair enough.
Missed the Boat
Antonio
He drove home, pulling the trailer with the cattle behind him, and with a giant stuffed unicorn sitting in the passenger seat. A promise was a promise. It was his final goodbye.
Letting go was the only option.
Why do people play it so fucking cool with each other?
The answer was cowardly, but true.
Because egos are fragile things.
Hiding genuine feelings until the situation was down to the wire, and it was all or nothing, was a program humanity had on repeat. The strength to fess up was often only available when certainty was guaranteed. Either that, or you got to the point where you didn’t give a shit about losing anymore, like Anton had. He’d just wanted to crack open his chest and spill out all the pent-up pressure. And if he’d been left spent… so be it.
That was where he was at now. Empty.
In some ironic twist, he felt free. This thing he’d carried around for his entire life—he’d finally unstrapped it. His heart hurt like hell. But he could stretch.
Despite the risk of oncoming pain, if someone sets your soul on fire, they should know.
No matter the outcome.
His mother had told him that when he was a little boy. He hadn’t understood it at the time. She’d seemed adamant that he receive the information.
Had she known how he felt about Lory, like his father had?
People were all so fucking afraid that their affection wouldn’t be returned, and their hearts would be crushed. Fear was the crippling disease, not love. Doubt and anxiety were an obstruction trapping so many in unfulfilling relationships that were safe. Because if they chose someone who didn’t push them to the greatest heights, they wouldn’t have that far to fall if they were rejected or abandoned.
Real love was intimidating as fuck to a fragile ego.
And that was why people clipped their own wings but still got shitty when they couldn’t touch the heavens.
He’d reached for bliss but ruined his chance by pushing too soon.
If he’d had a shot at all.
It was time to let it go now.
Anton pulled into his spot outside the farmhouse. Thankfully, the others hadn’t made it back yet. After putting the cattle out to pasture for the night, he headed inside to check on Nonna. Her door was open a crack, and he could see that she was tucked in already. The house was eerily quiet without the usual ruckus from his sisters. Why wouldn’t his grandmother use the opportunity to get some rest?
He showered before he found some leftover food in the fridge, scarfing it down in record time. After cleaning his mess, he checked the time; it was eight. Everyone would be home soon. Did he really want to be here when that happened?
Nope.
He sent a text to his mama’s phone letting her know he’d be gone for the night, grabbed his keys, then left.
_____
Lorelei
Why was it so hard to be honest? To take off her mask and expose her true self to the one person who needed to see her the most—the woman in the mirror. How was it so easy to get caught up in playing the role of good daughter, loyal friend, faithful fiancée, and deny the side of herself that wanted to say, ‘Fuck it. I’m gonna do what I want to do, ’cause playing this character is making me miserable?’
She’d been so convincing; she hadn’t even known her happiness had all been a lie.
Until now.
Lory ran towards the point of light on the horizon she’d seen from her bedroom window. Flames licked the glittering black ink sky. It was him. It had to be. How could he be home sleeping after what had happened? She couldn’t fathom going another moment without exposing her heart.
He was so much braver than her. She’d been so caught in grief for her quashed dreams, and guilt and confusion about her growing feelings for Toni, that she’d not been able to see. Love had been there the whole time. He’d helped her uncover the truth in the most abrupt awakening possible.
She’d loved Greyson. She didn’t want to discount that. But it had been about playing a role to fulfill expectations—not the least, her own. She’d wanted so much for him to be the one. And all the while Toni had suffered in silence.
That was the killer. The final twist of the blade. The agony of what she’d done to him was as good as turning the knife on herself.
Maybe she was completely insane, running through the fields in the dead of night. Using her phone to illuminate her way, she forced thoughts of coyotes and mountain cats out of her mind and focused solely on getting to him.
At last, she saw his truck. The backdrop of land and trees behind him was a barely discernible silhouette. Antonio sat with his legs hanging over the tray, staring into the campfire. With a blanket over his shoulders, he was as still as the air. His eyes were glazed like he was in a trance. Under a spell.
