With that thought, the bitter reality of my past bubbled up, burning the back of my throat. I wasn’t able to protect Tish. Logic told me it was just an accident, but I should’ve been there to drive her home. Seems I wasn’t good at protecting anyone …
But I have to try. The need to protect Veronica was even fiercer than it was with my sister. Especially because she’d been hurt so badly. She was mine, and I just wanted to be hers already. She was still keeping a part of herself hidden from me … I could sense it. I felt like there were a thousand doors I needed to open before I could reach her heart. But I opened the first one yesterday when she told me her story, and I opened the second as we poured our feelings into each other’s kiss. It was a good start … and I would keep picking all the locks on her doors until she was mine.
I picked up the tubs and a couple of paintbrushes, taking them to the hallway where Veronica waited.
“We’ll do the cutting in first. These VJ’s are a bit of a pain to paint. We’ll brush over the edges and joints, and then roller over the top. I only have one ladder. Do you want to work down low or up high?”
“I’ll take the ladder.”
Gripping the metal, she climbed up, leaning down as I passed up one of the tubs and a brush. “Here you go.” My face was level with her firm bum. Holding in a groan at the view she presented, I focused on her eyes, watching her dark pupils dilate.
Before I stepped back, I gave in to the urge to look at those legs. Goosebumps dotted her skin. I blew out a long breath, making the fine hairs stand up further. The temptation to run my palm along her leg was almost too much to resist. Forcing myself to step back, I picked up the tub, and got to work on painting around the edge of the skirting. We worked with only the sound of paintbrushes slicking on the wet colour for about an hour.
“Do you mind if we put some music on?” Veronica broke the silence.
“Sure thing. Do you want to use your phone, or do you trust me to pick the tunes?”
“My phone. Definitely.”
“I’m offended. What if your taste in music is crap?”
“It’s not.” She climbed down and grabbed her phone from her room, plugging it into the speakers in the lounge. Hard rock and the screaming vocals of Brian Johnson pumped into the air. She sauntered down the hallway, hips swaying to the beat as she smiled widely at me.
“ACDC. Goes with the T-shirt. Nice.” I’m in love. A woman who appreciated classic, Aussie rock. “Have you got Chisel on there, too?”
“Yup. I have all sorts of things on there, but none of that sugar pop shit.”
“Oh, thank God.” The roller made a hissing rattle as it moved in wide strokes to the beat of the song.
“Tell me more about Tish. What’s the age difference between you?”
“Five and a half years. She was fourteen when Mum and Dad died.”
I heard the roller pause and turned to find her watching me with sympathy. “You were only nineteen, and suddenly responsible for a teenage girl. Wow, that must’ve been hard.”
Turning around to block out her concern, I continued the therapeutic to and fro with the roller.
“Neither of us took their deaths well, but Tish was a total wreck. She closed herself off from everyone, and became consumed by school work. She’d break down if she didn’t get one hundred percent on an assignment. I guess she decided to be the perfect daughter, to honour them. It freaked me out.”
“But, you guys looked so happy in the photos.”
“Yeah. No.” I laughed bitterly. “We had our moments, I s’pose. Things were strained. She’d just started becoming a woman, and her mother was killed. I didn’t know anything about all that stuff. My girlfriend at the time was pissed with me because I didn’t spend enough time with her. I was working as an apprentice chippie. Tish had to get herself to school and back. By the time I’d done the dinner and whatever else needed to be done, I was knackered. Ben and Andrea left for Brisbane to start a new life together, and then I found out my girlfriend had been cheating on me, and my sister had been stealing feminine hygiene products, because I was an idiot and didn’t think to buy them. She was too embarrassed to ask. I made so many mistakes with her …” I trailed off, as my throat closed.
My icy companion covered the left side of my ribcage. Shivers formed a layer between it and me, but broke away with the addition of a tentative hand on my opposite shoulder. I dropped my head taking in the twin sensations. Warmth versus chill. Strangely, both of them made me feel surrounded by love.
“She seemed to be getting back on track when we moved here for her to start her degree. She was going to be an engineer, just like Dad. She started seeing this guy. She seemed happy, and then she had the accident.”
The weight of Veronica’s arm landed across my shoulders as she pressed into my side. The roller fell to the drop sheet, forgotten, as I gave in. I folded my body around hers. I absorbed her compassion and warmth, letting it fill me up with hope for a better future. One where I got to keep someone I loved, forever.
She understood about loss. We’d both lost too much.
