The last photo made my jaw go slack. It was Letitia … and Flick. With their arms around each other, smiling. That little manipulator. She knew Flick all along. They were friends. The muscles in my jaw strained from clenching. Dropping the photo into a pile, I rubbed my palm down my face and picked up the diary.
First day of uni. Engineering. Was I insane when I chose this degree? The facilities here are incredible. I’m a little intimidated by the male to female ratio in my lectures. Where are all the women?
I did meet Felicity Stevens, though. I wanted to write her name down before I forgot it, so there it is. She let me follow her to Student Services and we grabbed a coffee after getting our IDs. She’s cool. Anyway. I’m gonna crash. Too tired.
All right, so that was how they met. I flicked through her entries, until I found an entry about Twit.
Holy Moses! I met a man. He’s a blonde. It’s my weakness, what can I say? Matt Lindstrom, lawyer in the making. Could it be true love? Watch this space …
Lindstrom?
Matt’s acting moody. He snapped at me for hugging him in public and apologised later with flowers. He told me he loved me, but something didn’t feel right. He’s probably just stressed with his workload. Felicity keeps telling me I should dump him and run. But I love him.
Bad vibes turned my stomach to stone. I wanted to skip to the end, but I needed to find out how she got there.
Matt introduced me to his father, Derek. He’s a lecturer at the uni. The guy is a creep. He works with Felicity’s dad in this amazing, old house. Felicity was there, too. She showed me around while Matt talked to his dad about something. She didn’t seem happy to see me and actually pushed me towards the door. What is her deal?
My hand trembled as I turned to the next page.
I want to peel off my skin and scrub out my insides. Matt took me to the basement where his father and a group of men were waiting for me.
I couldn’t stand this. I had to skip ahead. Several weeks of blank space screamed at me before the black scribble reappeared.
I’m so sorry, Lee Lee. They took everything from me. I’m tainted. They threatened to hurt you if I said anything. I can’t go to the police because Matt’s uncle is a senior cop. Any chance of a future has vanished. I’m sorry … but I can’t look in the mirror anymore. I have to leave you. Please … look after yourself.
Love you lots.
Tish
I felt cold all over. She took her own life. Those vile leeches sucked the will to live out of her. Oh, fuck. This is going to destroy Brad.
Brad
I found her watching the telly when I got home. I completely bombed the exam, but I was so happy to see her up and about that a smile cracked my face open. It felt weird but nice on my face. Like when you shave after having a beard for so long.
“Hey gorgeous.” I leaned down to plant a kiss on her lips, and got a buzz when she stretched her neck to kiss me back.
She came back to me. Thank fuck.
“How was the exam?” She seemed twitchy. Chewing on her cheek as she jiggled her knees.
“It sucked.” I shrugged. “How are you feeling?” I was distracted by Ruby coming to greet me, rubbing her nose on my knee, but my hearing was still tuned to Veronica. Soft sniffles wrenched my full attention back to her wet face.
“I’m so sorry.”
“What for?” I reached my arm out, but she pushed me back.
“For everything. For losing it. For not being totally honest with you. For doing what I’m about to do.” Panic choked its grip on my neck. “I’m going to tell you everything. Please bear with me.”
Managing a nod, I sat still as she poured out the story of meeting my sister and the strange request to help me paint, which eventually led Veronica to Tish’s diary. The unbelievable tale twisted my brain into a giant knot, until I felt like it was on the verge of an explosion.
I felt the weight of the diary as she placed it in my lap. Looking at it, I knew it could only be Tish’s. Bright yellow and covered in daisies. I’d never seen it before.
“You’ve read this?”
She nodded in slow motion, mouth turned down, tears streaming down her cheeks.
The spine crackled as I lifted the cover, it easily fell to the last page of writing.
Sorry …
They took everything …
Tainted …
Vanished …
Have to leave …
Please … look after yourself.
“Please leave.”
“Brad.”
She reached for my arm, but I yanked it away violently before she could touch me.
“No, Veronica! Leave me alone!”
She jumped up and fled, with Ruby not far behind. The echo of the door slamming beat against my temples.
As I read, my grip on the book was crushing, just like the words spilled in ink.
Not an accident.
I could’ve saved her, and I didn’t.
Heaving the contents of my gut into the toilet wasn’t going to rid me of the sickening images running through my head, but I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted to keep spewing it all up until I was empty, and then I wanted to find all those motherfuckers and slit their throats just like they’d done to mine.
She wrote
