Nope. “Yeah, I’m fine. Do you mind if we walk and talk? I gotta go get Bree and Will.” And I want to move to see if the feeling follows us. We headed out the gate to the primary school next door.
Kate trotted to catch up to me. “Are you at your dad’s this weekend?”
“No. I just have to walk Will to Dad’s before I go home. He’s only eight, remember?” I always thought it was sad that the only time I spent with all my siblings together was the walk home from school. Before Stewart chose to ride home, that was. Bree never went past the front door at my dad’s house and Will never came to Mum’s. That was just how it was.
“Oh, yeah.” Kate scratched her freckled nose before shooing away a fly. “You’re lucky, having two houses.”
“Are you kidding? It’s a pain in the arse.” I curled one corner of my mouth.
“You got that right,” Jess added. She knew all about growing up in a broken family.
Kate held up a hand. “You get a break from each parent, though. You always have somewhere else to go when things are turning to shit. And you don’t have to walk on eggshells, knowing your parents hate each other and could start arguing at any minute.”
Aw, Kate.
I hooked an arm through hers, leaning my head on her shoulder.
She had a point. I didn’t miss living in a pressure cooker of tension. Parents who thought it was a good idea to stay together for the sake of the children were kidding themselves. Plus, Dad had an Xbox and Mum had a PlayStation, so I got the best of both worlds.
“You don’t get a break if one of them takes off,” Jess muttered. With her arms crossed and her chin touching her chest, it didn’t look like she’d spoken at all.
My throat closed off as I studied her. Under my feet, I expected the concrete to crack with the force sucking me down. Jess. What’s going on? I needed to talk to her. But not here.I’d make sure to grab her after dance class. Something shrouded her. A thick cloak of burden that wanted to drag her and me under.
“Isn’t that your brother and sister?” Pauline pointed down the road.
Dragging my eyes away from Jess, the pressure immediately eased. About twenty metres ahead, I could see my siblings leaning against the fence, talking to ... There he is. Ben had Adam with him. My legs were drawn towards him without me having to tell them where to go, the pull between us a palpable force. The tug took hold, permeating my body with a thrill that fed my soul. I didn’t want to fight it. I couldn’t fight it. Did he feel it, too?
Lee was waiting with them and a younger girl. Probably his sister. He’d said Letitia was a strawberry-blonde.
“Where’s Stewart?” Kate sounded almost disappointed. And she was pouting.
Aw, no. Girl, don’t do it. He was nowhere near good enough for any of my friends.
“Spew never sticks around anymore. He’s on his bike and outta here, ASAP. Especially on Fridays.”
Oh, my God. My lids peeled back as I had a realisation. I wonder if Spewart thought the same about me? My gaze shot to Ben. I was a catch. Any of Spewart’s friends would be lucky to have me. But I only wanted one of them.
Those blue eyes skimmed over my friends before landing on me. I stumbled a step. It was totally because of the stupid gumnut under my shoe—the damn things were lethal—not because my legs went a little weak at the smile he sent my way.
Straightening my shirt, I cleared my throat. Nice recovery.
“Hey, Andy. Did you enjoy your trip? Take any photos?” Lee called out as we approached.
“Har-de-har, smart-arse.” I couldn’t stop the blush. Stupid gumnut.
“Swear jar!” Will stretched on his toes as he cried out.
Ugh. I glared at my little brother before I gave him and Bree a hug.Why did my most embarrassing moments have to happen in front of Ben? Was it some scheme the universe employed to turn him off?
I spun around to Lee’s sister, willing the heat to drain from my cheeks. “Hi.”
“Andy, this is Tish. Tish, this is Andy.” Lee waved his hand between the two of us before turning to his sister. “Now you can stop bugging me to introduce you.”
“I wasn’t bugging you,” she grumbled.
They launched into a squabble as I snuck a peek at Ben. He tousled Adam’s hair while his brother tried to fight him off. My heart did somersaults, as if he’d plunged his hand inside my ribcage to tousle my heartstrings.
Clearing my throat again, I interrupted Lee and Tish’s argument. “Lovely to meet you.”
Flustered, she clamped her mouth shut and looked away, huffing.
“Do you like to dance, Tish?”
She shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know.”
“Ooh, you should come. It’s fun.” Bree bounced on her heels, dark blonde curls bouncing.
My friends echoed her sentiment, talking over the top of each other.
“Come and watch our class tonight.” I hooked a thumb in my friends’ direction. “This is Pauline, Kate, and Jess. We dance every Tuesday and Friday afternoon. Bree’s class is on Friday before ours.” My eyes flicked to Ben again. He wasn’t paying any attention. At all.
The fragile dreams I’d constructed from fleeting things like a glance or a smile vaporised into nothing. The fire inside me dimmed to a flicker. It didn’t go out completely, though. There was something there. I couldn’t shake this soul-deep knowing. I wasn’t sure if I believed in God, but I thought maybe we’d met for a reason. The only thing I knew for sure was that it would drive me nuts if I kept thinking about it.
I turned to the girls. “Guys, these are Spewart’s friends,
