Cheers and whistles came from the crowd. Some guy yelled, “Go get ’em, son.”
“Ehhhh!” Stew raised his bottle, a grin splitting his face.
Several more blokes unleashed filthy comments. Stewart just kept on smiling before lifting his middle finger at the intolerant assholes. “Fucking homophobes.”
Whatever their comebacks were, the next song drowned them out. One of the little weasels stepped up to Stew, who was too busy head-banging to notice. I crossed my arms, giving the guy a hard stare. He got the message and took off with his mate.
“Stewart! Benny!” I grunted as a hand smacked me on the back. “Thanks for comin’ to my party, man.” He said it twice. Once to me and once to Stewart.
“Happy birthday, Johnno.”
“I’m finally legal.” He raised a pointer finger to the sky, tipping back a bottle of Jim Beam. His eyeball rolled to the corner as he watched a tiny chick with black hair dance past. Lowering the bourbon, he trailed after her with the amber spirit dribbling down his chin.
“What, no goodbye?” I laughed.
“He’s too busy chasing tail.” Stewart hooked me around the neck again. “Where’s Lee Major?”
“Stop fucking doing that.” I threw his arm off. “He’s over at Larissa’s.”
“What the fuck? Why isn’t he out getting pissed with his mates?”
“He’d rather have sex than a hangover.”
“Why can’t he have both?”
“She didn’t wanna come.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” He guffawed at his own joke before asking, “Why the fuck not?”
“Because of you.”
“Is she still pissed about the beach incident? That was six months ago.”
“You untied her bikini top and she flashed everyone.”
“I didn’t untie it. I might’ve accidentally pulled the string when I went for the ball. It was a freak accident. I told her that.”
“Jesus, you’re so clueless.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve had more pussy than you.”
“I prefer quality over quantity.”
“Is that why you dumped Kelly?”
“You must be maggoted if you’re asking me about my love life.” No fucking way am I telling you shit about my sex life. Or lack of.
“Fuck. Yeah, you’re right. I don’t give a shit.” He put the beer to his lips before realising it was empty and dumping it on a nearby trestle table. “I want the bull’s balls.”
Here we go with another half-cocked Stewart special. I loved the guy, but Jesus, he needed to grow up. “Which bull?”
“The Welcome to Rockhampton-motherfuckers-kiss-my-arse-Brahman.”
“Is this some ploy to impress a girl? I can tell you now, they don’t give a rat’s arse about your trophy collection.”
“Why are you tryna kill my joy? Seriously, how long has it been? You’re as uptight as a nun in a brothel.”
Maybe because I can’t stop thinking about your sixteen-year-old sister.
Every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon, I’d get home from work and she’d be sitting at the dining room table, helping Adam with his assignments. She was so good with him, too. The way she explained things using pictures or objects—he just got it. Once, she’d cooked a chocolate cake and they’d sliced it up into fractions. She made things fun. She cared.
I narrowed my eyes, shaking my head. I needed to stop thinking about her. I needed to stop complicating my life with females. And parties. They weren’t as much fun without alcohol. I sounded like a dick just thinking that. Alcohol was not a requirement for having a good time. Neither was sex. I pictured giving myself a black eye for getting on the hamster wheel of internal dialogue I had going. Why the fuck was I even here? I’d been up since five a.m., working my arse off all day. I just wanted to veg in front of the idiot box. Johnno was more Stewart’s friend than mine anyway.
Fuck me for volunteering to be the designated driver.
“I’m done for the night. If you want a lift home, we’re leaving. If not, suit yourself.” I walked off towards the side gate.
“Benny, Benny, Benny.” He almost went arse over tit as he ran in front of me, turning to put his hand against my chest.
I grabbed his wrist and removed it.
“Are you leaving already?” I twisted around, finding Andy behind me.
She was wearing tight jeans and a tank top. Her hair was loose. I dunno what she’d done to her face, but her eyes looked twice the size they normally did. Some weird shit was happening in my chest, like my ribcage had shrunk and couldn’t contain what was inside it anymore. “What are you doing here?” And what the fuck are you doing with a beer in your hand?
“I was invited.”
My brows dropped. “By who?”
“Johnno’s sister. What is this? Twenty Questions?”
Stewart leaned his shoulder into mine. “Didn’t you see her when we walked in? She was talking to that twat from school.” He tried to click his fingers, but failed. “What’s his name?” Swinging a finger at Andy, he blurted, “Michael, right?”
I was not prepared for the force of the kick to my gut. My hands formed tight fists at my sides.
Michael.
What’s his address?
His phone number?
Where does he work?
What’s his IQ?
What kind of car does he drive?
What’s the number plate?
... What the fuck am I doing?
“Yes. And he’s not a twat,” she volleyed.
“Is too,” Stewart slurred.
Mouth flattening, Andy’s lids slowly dropped. Her chest rose with a slow breath in. I averted my eyes to avoid being a creep, but damn, her tits were hard not to notice.
Eyes popping open, she gave us a smile. “Were you guys leaving?”
She needed to stop smiling like that. She was too gorgeous. “No. Stewart just needed to take a pi—” I coughed. “A leak.”
“Actually, I do.” He stumbled off to the Portaloo before banging on the door and yelling
