He was being unreasonable. “C’mon, Wesley,” I quietly urged. He looked down at me and the expression on his face was indiscernible. He actually seemed a little hurt.
Mr. Hannity walked in just before the bell rang, and Wesley went to his seat without another word. I glanced over my shoulder at him while the exams were being passed out and he was whispering with the person next to him. He didn’t even look at me.
I couldn’t concentrate on the test. It took me the full hour to finish it. Wesley waited while I got my things together and he looked relieved. He told me that the test wasn’t as hard as he expected it to be.
He drove me home and idled in front of my building. “I gotta do some stuff for my mom, so I gotta get going. But I’ll come by later. You wanna do something tonight?” he asked, his hand resting on the stick shift.
“Yeah, okay,” I answered, opening the door. He didn’t even try to stop me for a kiss. He smiled casually and waved. “See you later,” I said timidly and closed the door. He waited until I got to the stairwell and then drove off.
Wesley returned later, around nine o’clock. He was wearing different clothes from what he had worn to school and he smelled like he’d just stepped out of the shower. Alycia had left with Mike an hour before, and Mom was still at work. The kiss he gave me was brief—and platonic. We left and went to Cue to play pool.
“Hey, Wes! Toren! Over here, guys!” Kate shouted when we walked into the smoky pool hall. She was wearing a pair of tight hip-hugging jeans and a low-cut T-shirt. Lissa smiled and said hi. “Let’s pick up where we left off, okay?”
Wesley pulled a cue from the rack, and Kate wound her arm around his waist. We played a couple games and Wesley catered to Kate’s flirtations. She asked for help lining up shots and Wesley would lean behind her, his hand on her hip, correcting her aim. He didn’t step away from her embraces, either, and I felt a knot tightening in my stomach.
After the second game, Lissa began to rack up the balls again. “Are we up for another game?”
Wesley and Kate agreed, but I shook my head. “I think I’m gonna get going. I’m pretty tired,” I said, putting a five-dollar bill down on the table. I said good night and began to walk toward the front.
“Toren, wait a sec,” Wesley called, but I pretended not to hear him. Tears were welling in my eyes. “Toren, c’mon!” he shouted again. “I gotta go. I’m his ride. Here’s ten for the table,” he said and followed me.
I slowed my pace after I was outside. The sun had set and the sky was dark except for the waning light in the west. I could hear Wesley behind me.
“Toren! Wait up. What’s the matter?” he asked, closing in on me.
“Nothing. I’m just tired,” I said without turning around.
“Yeah, right. Now, come on. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I said I was fine. Why don’t you just go back inside? I’m sure Kate’s waiting for you.”
Wesley circled around in front of me. “Is that what this is about? Toren, are you jealous?” he asked with a grin.
“No. Of course not,” I said and narrowed my eyes. “I don’t care what you do or with who.”
Wesley’s face dropped and his grin disappeared. “You don’t mean that, do you?” I couldn’t bear to look at his wounded face. “I’m only acting like this because of you. You’re the one who’s so afraid of people finding out about us. What am I supposed to do?” His voice was forceful; he believed every word he said. He tilted his head to the side, and his expression softened. “Don’t you trust me?”
I glanced up and tears rimmed my eyes. “I-I just….” I didn’t know what to say. I did trust him, but I didn’t know what to do either.
“You’re the person I want to be with. It’s just… frustrating that I can’t act the way I want to around you. I want to be able to hold your hand and kiss you. It doesn’t matter what other people think because you’re the one I want.”
“I-I’m sorry.”
Wesley stepped closer to me. “There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he said, brushing my arm with his fingertips. “I guess I just have to learn to be patient.”
He laughed quietly and closed his eyes. I felt relief seeing his smile again. He drove me home and parked in an empty spot. Alycia was out with Mike and Mom was still at work.
Wesley led me to the couch and pulled down the zipper on my blue jeans. My body was already on fire and Wesley fanned the flames. He stopped and looked in my eyes with a simple smile on his face.
“You know, it kinda made me happy that you got jealous. Because it means you really are into me,” he said, the dim light shadowing his handsome face. I acknowledged the jealousy I felt and kissed him lightly. “But, just so you know, you don’t have any reason to be jealous. You’re the one I want.” He slid his hand under the elastic band of my boxers and frigged me slowly with nimble fingers. I shuddered and pulled him closer. “Do you want me to use my hand or my mouth?” he whispered in my ear.
I blushed and looked into his eyes. “I want… to kiss you.” Wesley moved his hand back and forth, and I bit my lip. “That way, I can too.”
“Wanna go to your room then? So it doesn’t get… messy out here?”
I swallowed hard then nodded. I led him down the hall to my bedroom, and he pulled me close. I could feel how hard he was, and I shyly traced his stomach to the top of his blue jeans. He helped me unfasten them and lowered me
