“Why are you still here?” Ōbhin said. “It’s growing dark.” He nodded at the fog. “It’s going to be thick tonight.”
“I’ve been thinking of what to say to you,” Avena said.
“Oh?” he asked, glancing at the window. Stone appeared to be sleeping, slumped over. Hook now had his boot up on the table, his chair leaned back. His bulbous and veined nose twitched.
“I know you don’t believe in Elohm.”
“True. There is no god or gods, there are only the Tones. The notes of creation that still sing through us. Each has a name and should be revered, but they are not gods. They are not . . . intelligent like you or I. They are merely forces of nature, with personalities of a kind, that can adjust the world. They can react in ways a rock cannot.”
“Well, let’s pretend Elohm does exist,” Avena said. “Do you know how He sees us? Me, you, even Ust?”
Ōbhin shook his head.
“Stained diamonds.”
“What?”
“Diamonds are the most beautiful of all the seven gems,” she said. “Clear as glass but possessing an inner fire. They are almost like prisms. They are beautiful and strong. They are something that can shine with brilliance.”
She glanced over her shoulder and pointed. A steady glow spilled down the alley, lighting up the fog behind her. The day was coming to an end, night falling. Someone had activated the diamond jewelchine lamp out front to illuminate the street.
“See, that is the pure light of a diamond,” Avena continued. “We all have that light in our souls, but we’re stained. As we go through life, we pick up more smears of dirt and muck that obscure the beauty inside of us. However, Elohm can wipe us clean. He can make us sparkle, but only if we let Him. I know you did something bad, but what will murdering Ust accomplish?”
“Ust and his men will die,” Ōbhin said, his tone flat. Cold.
Avena nodded, a sad smile on her lips. “You’ll shatter their gems. Keep them from ever shining.”
“Some gems can never be polished no matter how hard you try. Especially Ust and his men. I know them.”
“You were one of his men.” Avena’s eyes penetrated his flesh.
He set his jaw. “I’m not Ust or Hook. I never reveled in cruelty for its own sake. They don’t deserve to have their sins washed away. You Lothonians believe in a dark pit that those souls too weighed down with Black go to.”
She grimaced.
“They deserve to go there. I’ll send them tonight.”
“What about you? What will you do once you’ve added more grime to your soul?”
“I’ll flee once I’m done.”
“And?”
“I’ll return to what I was.”
“So you’ll be lost in the dark?” she asked, her words echoing down the alleyway.
*
Avena felt that emptiness in her wanting to swallow her as she studied Ōbhin’s face. Those words had whispered out of her own soul. Lost in darkness . . . It was how she was after Evane’s death. That same emptiness that dwelt in her, that same flaw, existed in Ōbhin. She didn’t know how to fix herself, but maybe she could fix him.
“I try so hard to keep from sinking into the dark, Ōbhin. I was in it once. Lost for two years. I didn’t speak the entire time. Daughter Heana, who was one of the daughters who ran my orphanage, coaxed me out of it bit by bit. She reminded me every day that I was a diamond just needing some polish.” Avena smiled at him. “Don’t you deserve that polish? Don’t you deserve to be clean?”
“How?” he asked, his voice thick, almost cracking. He stared down at his sable-gloved hands. “I can’t undo it.”
“But you were trying.” She took his hand in hers, the leather contrasting with her pale flesh. The world grew darker behind him as night fell faster. The light from the diamond jewelchine spilled past her, casting her shadow on his chest. “That’s why you agreed, right? To work for Dualayn? You were going to make amends.”
He nodded.
“So what changed?”
*
His brow furrowed. What did change . . . ?
“It’s hard,” he muttered.
Avena’s hand tightened on his. “Isn’t it? Are you scared of effort? You?”
“I’m no braver than any other man.”
She laughed, a pure sound that echoed around them. The fog behind her glowed with a pure light. Unlike flame, the light from a jewelchine didn’t flicker or dance. It was steady, a constant brilliance. Like the sun, only a pure white instead of a warm yellow.
“You stood up before a mob,” Avena said, shaking her head. A strand of brown hair, escaped from her braid, tumbled down her forehead.
“That was easy.” Ōbhin shrugged. “They were angry and unskilled. They had no goal besides venting their rage. I had to convince them to find an easier place to unleash it. I had my blade.” He sighed, feeling the weight of that day. The screams, his boots slipping on crimson-stained concrete. “I tried not to hurt them, but they forced me to.”
“Sounds like courage to me.”
“When things really matter, I can’t be relied on.”
“Because you made one bad decision?”
He turned away from her. “Once I’m gone, even if I don’t kill Ust today, there’ll be no danger to you and Dualayn.”
“Today.” Her hand touched his shoulder. He could feel her pressure through the chainmail and leather jerkin. “What about tomorrow? Ust is hardly the only danger in the world. I want you to come back and try. It’ll be hard, but you don’t have to be alone. When I was lost, I had Daughter Heana. Maybe I can guide you.”
“And Ust? He
