“You were just confused. Now you love him, and he’s trying to drive you away. That’s not good. He shouldn’t hurt you like that.”
“He just doesn’t want me to get injured, but I can’t just remain behind. I can’t be helpless.” The emptiness in her swelled. “Never again. Maybe I should be more careful in a fight, but I know I was useful during the raid. I can remember fighting the local gang. My invention worked. It was exhilarating. I was so happy. He trusted me to watch his back, and I don’t want to lose that.”
“You can’t let him push you away. You have to defy him. If he tries to run, tackle him.”
“What?” Avena gasped. “Like grab his legs or something?”
“Yes! I know it’s romantic that he wants to keep you safe while he goes out and fights evil, but you’re not that type of woman.”
Fights evil? Avena favored her friend an exasperated look.
“You’ll have to be persuasive. I know he can be a delicate man, but rosebushes are resilient. You don’t let him get away. You beat it through his thick skull that the best way for him to protect you is for you to be at his side when things are most dangerous.” Deffona sank into her own chair on the other side of the desk. “Fighting monsters and braving evil together. And when you’re not fighting, when you return to your bower, you can share in other delights.”
“My life is not one of your novels,” Avena muttered, her cheeks warm. She’d seen Ōbhin shirtless a few times. Memories of his brown, strong body flashed through her mind. Then the way he’d touched her bare face after Ust had attacked.
“My novels aren’t this exciting. The women in them just wait to be saved. You have to be proactive about it.”
“I don’t need to be saved. He’s already done that, remember?”
“I know.” Deffona’s voice grew airy and distant. “You are so lucky.” She sighed again. “So, this is what you have to do. March up to him and give him a talking to. Let him know that you will not be wrapped up in swaddling cloth. That you’ll do . . . whatever it is you two are doing.”
“Protecting Dualayn,” Avena said, her cheeks burning.
“Right, right. Tell him that you’re there until the end.”
“I will,” Avena straightened in her chair. “When I get back. I’ll corner him.”
“Try the grove by your house.” Deffona leaned forward, resting her cloth-wrapped chin on her bare hands. “Alone. You can kiss and make up once you have this all worked out.”
“Maybe,” Avena said. Her mood lifted, she glanced at the door behind her friend. “How is this new job?”
“I like it,” Deffona said. “It’s so different from working at the hospital, but Refractor Charlis’s work is important. We’re the bulwark against the king and his madness. There are clergy who are taking bribes. It’s disgusting.”
Avena grimaced. “They’re holy men.”
“I know.” Deffona shook her head. “Holy men can be weak, too. Charlis fears our new high refractor is being influenced, but I’m doing what I can. Our high refractor is a great man.”
“And his stance on the war?”
“He’s talking about being neutral on this matter of war,” Deffona said. Then quickly added, “Not supporting it, but he’s not denouncing it, either. You have to understand, he’s the holy leader of Roidan and Ondere, too. And those nations on Busil if they’ll ever stop being heretics. He can’t play favorites.”
Avena gave a slow nod, though she would appreciate a more proactive high refractor. “Well, I’ve heard the other nations think our church is too influenced by Lothon.”
“Exactly!” Deffona said.
“But if he’s not denouncing it, then other clergymen in the House don’t feel as pressured to make a stand. Right?”
“Charlis is trying to make a coalition with those in the House of the Serfs who recognize this for the true danger it is. Conscription and chaos. It could be another ten years of war if this spirals out of control.”
“I hope he’s successful.” Avena shifted. She owned no property, so she couldn’t do much to influence the House of Serfs, and she had no title to petition the the House of Lords.
“Tomorrow, the House of Clerics is going to pass Charlis’s bill,” Deffona said, her voice breathy again. Her cheeks were bright with her excitement. “The high refractor himself was in here just a little while ago to lend his support. I’m not supposed to talk about the details, but you won’t gossip.”
“Of course not,” Avena said, leaning in. Excitement quivered through her at being included.
“It’ll say that peace with Roidan is necessary and will ask for a lessening of tariffs. To lower the cost of buying gems from them and encouraging them to purchase our jewelchines.” Deffona tapped the letter. “That’s what is in here. Information to help sell this idea.”
“Wonderful. I’m glad you’re happy here. You look alive. No bags under your eyes.”
“No Eldest Sister Anglia harping about every fault I have. She was furious that Charlis hired me, but she couldn’t say no to a refractor. I even have my own room at his church.” Deffona gave Avena a studious look. “You should come to mass. Being a good person isn’t enough if you don’t attend any.”
“His church is so far from the estate. There’s one I go to when I can,” Avena said, shame skittering through her. When had she last gone? Dualayn never bothered, but many of his servants went to a small church in the Breezy Hills Slums. “I’ll try to come and
