"I found it when I finished my shift rotation of nights last week," Alice said, ignoring her bumbling justification. Tamara put the note down on the breakfast bar alongside the envelope. "Kinda creepy to find it tucked under the windscreen, to be honest." She folded her arms across her chest. "I've had my fair share of dysfunctional relationships in the past, obsessed exes and all of that, but at least I knew not to fear Ade. He could be an idiot." She smiled ruefully. "Believe me, a complete and total prat, but not a stalker."
"Why did he leave it?"
"Because I had told him that we weren't getting back together. I said it repeatedly."
"But he kept trying?" Alice nodded. "And you kept seeing him." It wasn't a question. They had the data from the mobile phone company and had put it to Alice in interview. She'd refused point blank to discuss it at the time.
"Ade was persistent," Alice said, running a hand through her hair. She looked exhausted. "He was used to getting his own way and seldom took no for an answer."
"Then why keep seeing him, going to his house?"
Alice exhaled, averting her eyes from Tamara's gaze and shaking her head. She leaned back against the door frame, casting her eyes to the ceiling. "Because… because I'm human. All I ever wanted was a normal life – whatever that is?"
Internally, Tamara thought, don't we all.
"I thought that's what I was getting with Ade," Alice said. "I thought we grew up, forged a career of some description, met someone and had kids. That was how life is supposed to go, right? I didn't get married thinking I'd ever be doing it again. When we had Sapphire, I thought that was it. Then, which came as a shock to me, a divorce loomed large on the horizon and in what felt like the blink of an eye I was a single parent. I'm struggling to work out exactly what I was supposed to be doing with zero clue as to where I would be in five or ten weeks, let alone years."
Tamara observed her calmly. She was speaking from the heart. "And now?"
Alice gathered herself, thinking about her response carefully. "Recently, Ade was all those things that drew me to him in the first place, caring, charming… focussed on me. On us. Despite everything we've been through, all the pain and the fighting… there was still that link between us. Do you know what it's like to give yourself over to another person with no expectation of taking it back?"
Tamara shook her head. "I was supposed to, but I realised it wasn't right for me. I caused a lot of pain in doing so as well."
"But if you were sure… and that person wanted you back, would you stay or would you go?"
Alice's eyes were gleaming now, watching Tamara closely. Did she expect reassurance, absolution?
"That would depend on the circumstances," she said finally.
Alice cocked her head. "Such as?"
"Well, if I'm putting myself in your place – there's Tom for starters."
Alice looked away, nodding.
"There's no one else here, Alice. I haven't read you your rights and this isn't being recorded. Were you and Adrian—"
"No," Alice said, meeting her eye. "As much as I was drawn to him, no. We weren't. I know what's right for me… and for Sapphire. Ade and I, as much as we were great together for a time, that time was in the past. I have a future… I had a future with someone else."
A scratching at the door made Tamara turn and let the dog back in. He bounded into the kitchen, giving his body a good shake before trotting past them and out into the hall.
"You're welcome," Tamara said to the dog.
"He'll be heading to Saffy's room, I expect," Alice said. She sounded despondent.
"Tom will come around," Tamara said. "Once all this is over, he'll come around."
Alice laughed, but it was a sound devoid of genuine humour. "My ex has been murdered and my current partner thinks I was either sleeping with him or that I murdered him. Or perhaps both. I might be waiting a while." She pushed off from the door frame, coming further into the kitchen and rubbing at her eyes with her hand. "I've made such a mess of things."
Tamara thought that was true, she'd handled the situation badly. But it was salvageable. Alice put her hands on the breakfast bar, steadying herself.
"Tom said he had to leave because his presence might distort the perception of the case. Is that true?"
Tamara nodded. "Yes. I think so. It was a wise move… from a professional point of view, but perhaps not from a personal one. I think I should fess up. I'm afraid it was me who put the idea in his head." She braced herself for a barrage of abuse, but it didn't come.
"Thank you for your honesty," Alice said, smiling weakly. She then went to speak but checked herself.
"No, please, go on."
"Tom speaks highly of you, you know. In fact, he talks about you all of the time. At least, that's how it feels sometimes."
Tamara looked down, fearing her face was flushing and not wanting Alice to see for fear she would see straight through her expression to the feelings she was still yet to admit to herself.
"I must admit to being quite jealous."
Tamara scoffed, trying to take a firm grip on the conversation. "Of me? Don't be."
"He cares for you. Tom, I mean. A lot," Alice said. Still, Tamara made sure not to meet her eye. "He cares about all of you, deeply."
"Tom cares about everyone," she said, summoning the courage to front this one out. "That's why everyone loves him so much."
"Do you?"
Alice's gaze was piercing. Tamara felt her chest constrict, completely thrown by the question. The doorbell sounded. Tamara was relieved.
"I'd better make a move," Tamara said.
Alice looked over her
