"I don't know," I reply, wiping the tears from my cheeks.
She tucks her arm underneath mine and walks me back to our apartment. I wish he'd just let me know he's okay, at least.
I stare out the window of our living room with my chin rested on the back of the couch. My mind is entirely blank, and I cannot see any of the twinkling lights from the city perfectly in view. I'm numb. I've lost the one good thing going in my life that made me happy, made me my best self, and made me feel like I could conquer the world.
I WAKE UP AGAIN, FRANTICALLY from the couch. Ris is asleep in the chair next to me. She looks so uncomfortable but is such a good friend to stay out here with me when she could easily be sleeping comfortably in her bed. I check my phone and see that it's quarter after four in the morning. There is still no text or call from Luke.
I walk into the kitchen, yawning and stretching my arms, to make a pot of coffee. I'm going to need it today. I must meet Barrett at Facade to run over my working from home, set up with IT, then drive the five hours back to my dad's.
I wander down the hallway to my room; I enter my bathroom and turn the water on to run myself a bath. I debate whether to add bubbles. Pondering the thought longer then I should, I decide to add some bubble bath.
I throw my hair back in a messy bun on top of my head and pull down on the bags under my eyes as I look myself over in the mirror. I head out of my room back into the kitchen to pour myself a cup of coffee. I hold the sides of my steaming cup of joe as I stare off into space. I snap out of it when I remember that I have a bath running. I rush back down the hallway to my bathroom with the cup of coffee in my hand. The bubbles are high above the tub but are not spilling over. I shut the water off, slowly sliding my clothes down my body, and dip a toe into the tub.
The water is stifling, so I draw my leg back quickly and add some cold water. Once I get the temperature bearable, I step in and sit down with the bubbles hugging me. I glide my hands back and forth across the top of the water before I lean back, resting myself against the cool porcelain of the tub. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath, then exhaling as I try to relax. I drift into a zen-like state as my steamy hot bath engulfs me. Memories of my father from when I was a child fill my mind. He is who I would turn to in situations like this. He's the one who I would cry to about Brady and Luke. He would make everything better, show me a different and more positive way to look at, and approach it all, and it would then set me at ease.
I miss him so much. I need my daddy.
Chapter Sixty-Eight
I try to distract myself with music and plan a place where I will set myself up a little office at my dad's, on my long drive back from Milwaukee. Barrett and IT have provided me with everything I need to successfully have everything run smoothly as it does from my office at Facade. I will be able to video conference with anyone on my team and at work and be virtually present at all meetings. It will be strange not to be there in person, but it's what I need right now to focus.
I called Ernie this morning, and he said he hasn't heard from or seen Luke since he left the shop to see me on Friday, and Jason didn't answer his phone the two times I called him. I'm sure he's sleeping off a weekend of partying. I hope Luke is okay. His phone is still off, and I've probably called him about twenty times already since yesterday.
I pull down my father's long driveway, and it's like a weight instantly lifts from my chest. I can finally breathe and not have to worry about being sexually harassed by one of my co-workers. I get out of my vehicle in the warm evening sun. It's so lovely out here and peaceful—no honking from traffic or busy nightlife, only the sound of mother nature.
I haul my equipment in from Facade, my bag, and the one Luke left at my apartment back in Milwaukee. I notice that the grass has grown exceptionally long, I haven't cut it once since I came back, and I should probably do so soon.
I walk to the small shed that sits off the driveway opposite the barn. It's a cute little shed, made of old barn wood. It has two windows, and for its size, it can store a whole lot of stuff. I turn the knob thing and slide off the latch, opening the shed. My dad and his OCD, I giggle to myself. Everything is organized so neatly and placed almost by size comparison or alphabetically. I pull out the push mower then back out the rider. I check both for gas and see that the rider doesn't have enough to do the entire yard.
I run into the house, grab a shirt, and purse to head to town for some gas and two-stroke engine oil. I don't want to put the gas can in the trunk of my car and have it reek. I rush to the barn with my fingers crossed, my dad took the plow off his plow truck, and it will start. Luckily, the plow is unhooked and off to the side. I hop inside my
