Batiatus stood up to announce Viridovix’s arrival to the crowd, but then promptly stumbled and fell to the ground. When one of the guards hurried over and helped Batiatus up, Viridovix noticed that his master’s face was looking somewhat green. In fact, after having eaten the kitchen scraps he’d been given half an hour earlier, he was beginning to feel a tiny edge of queasiness himself.
‘Ahem … I’m, er … I’m feeling a little odd, forgive me,’ Batiatus stammered. He imbibed a hefty swig of wine, and then coughed and shook his head. ‘Let us continue!’ he bellowed, a little too forcefully.
Suddenly, one of the guests, a plump middle-aged woman with crimson-dyed hair, fell off her chair and started retching on the floor. At the opposite end of the hall another guest, a stick-thin geriatric Greek in a gold-trimmed toga, fell to his knees and vomited too. Someone shrieked out in shock, and gasps and whispers of horror scuttled like marauding locusts through the hall.
The poison Arishat had slipped into the food was beginning to take effect.
‘It appears, ahem, that some of you have perhaps … overindulged,’ Batiatus said slowly, trying to hold down the bitter vomit that was already beginning its inexorable creep up the back of his own throat. ‘I will, er, um, servants, could you escort these unfortunate guests to a place where they, er, where they may lie down? Please, hurry.’
Servants rushed to the aid of those who had started to feel the effects of the poison, and Batiatus paused to allow these guests to be escorted away. He cleared his throat and did his best to feign enthusiasm, despite the sickness bubbling in his own belly.
‘But for those who still have room to feast, it is now time for the evening’s main course, and of course the finale of the evening’s entertainment!’ he cried, forcing himself to feign excitement despite his growing discomfort. ‘We will feast on gorilla, stuffed with honey-marinated wild boar, and roasted partridge with garnished with dates and raisins!’
A cheer erupted from the guests, but their enthusiasm was decidedly half-hearted in comparison to how it had formerly been. Somewhere to the left of the hall yet another guest toppled off his chair and began vomiting on the floor. Slaves hurried over to help the man up and to clean up the mess, but just as they had escorted the sickly man out, a woman at another table collapsed. Murmurs of anger and discontentment started to flit about the hall like sparrows dashing between scattered crumbs.
‘What’s going on here?’ one man demanded angrily. ‘Everyone is becoming ill!’
‘It’s the food!’ shrieked a woman with a rapidly greening face. ‘We’ve been given poisoned food!’
An elderly man fell dropped to the floor, convulsing and choking on his own vomit.
Batiatus stood up on shaky legs, feeling a wave of gut pinching nausea swirling and sloshing in his belly. A look of panic and reddened embarrassment was stark upon his face.
‘I assure you, honoured guests, that there is nothing wrong with the food!’ he spluttered, even as his face started to turn green. ‘I have in my kitchen the freshest ingredients and the finest chef in all of—’
‘Then why are we all feeling so awful?!’ a corpulent man in a crimson tunic shouted, just before a gush of vomit erupted from between his lips.
‘Do something, you buffoon!’ Octavian hissed to Batiatus, his hands quivering, white-knuckled fists at his sides. ‘This is turning into a fiasco! I will not have my reputation tarnished on your account, Batiatus! I’ll crucify you and everyone in your cursed ludus! Now sort this out!’
Batiatus stumbled over to the nearest slave girl and gripped her arm with a trembling hand.
‘Bring in the gorillas, right now,’ he gasped.
‘But master, they’re not ready—’
Batiatus slapped her viciously across her face with one of his meaty hands.
‘I don’t care!’ he hissed through tightly gritted teeth. ‘Fucking do it or I’ll have you flayed alive!’
The girl rushed out of the room with tears rimming her eyes, and Batiatus staggered back to his table.
‘Guests!’ he shouted, swaying on unsteady legs, trying to get everyone’s attention through the building noise of complaints and discontented murmurings. ‘We are bringing in the gorillas right now! One alive, and one for you to feast on! Please, take your seats! You are about to see something that nobody in Rome has ever seen!’
This announcement seemed to quell some of the rebellion that was stirring, and most of the guests appeared to at least be temporarily placated.
Maharbaal strode over to Viridovix, who was waiting in his armour in the cage.
‘Give ‘em a good show now, Viridovix. Them folks are right fuckin’ unhappy ‘bout now, y’see? It’s up to you to save the boss’s reputation, got it?!’
Viridovix nodded.
‘Save the master’s reputation,’ he said uneasily. ‘Yes. Yes Doctore, I will do this.’
‘You’d fuckin’ better. Otherwise you’ll never see that wooden sword. Ever. Get my drift?’
‘I understand, Doctore.’
‘Good. Now you be an obedient dog and do as you’re told.’
‘Yes Doctore.’
‘Go to the other side o’ the cage. They’re bringing the monster in now, they are.’
Viridovix walked quietly over to the end of the cage as some slaves carried in a large cage that was draped with a huge cloth to conceal what was inside it. Immediately following it, however, was something that everyone could see quite clearly, and the moment their eyes took in the sight, gasps of surprise, awe, shock and horror began erupting all over the hall. On a massive platter, carried by four slaves, was the steaming, freshly roasted corpse of a monstrous-looking creature. Its skinned body, with the meat browned from the fire, was strikingly human, albeit with far different proportions. The chest and abdominal cavity had been hollowed out and the organs had been removed, and the resulting space had been stuffed with roasted pork and steamed vegetables,
