They were silent now, downcast and glum. I closed the front door, a move so unheard of that I finally got their full attention.
“Mark killed a man,” I blurted. “And I’m really frightened that I’m going to be next.”
And up until I spoke the words I hadn’t realised what it was that I was so fearful of. Mark wanted a willing and compliant lover, a yes-man. Now that his plaything Smith was dead, I seemed an obvious replacement. I was already his yes-man, I was halfway there.
The brother’s leaned forward, ears and eyes all on me as I told them about Smith, poor, beautiful Smith, and I watched as a myriad of expressions crossed their faces. Disbelief, shock, fear, horror and finally disgust. The whole spectrum.
“Fucking hell,” breathed Vinnie, when I finished.
“I’ve got to get out of there,” I said, not bothering to fight the tremor in my voice.
They didn’t mock my fear. They felt it too.
“I think we all need to get out,” said Miles, grimly and the others nodded soberly.
There was a beat of silence and then they all spoke at once, moving home, moving to Amsterdam, how about going further afield, Thailand, maybe?
“But we won’t fucking slip away in the night like pussies,” David said fiercely. “We’ll do it up right, throw a final party, then we’ll go to Amsterdam and plan the next step from there.”
There were murmurs of agreement and David caught my eye. “You’ll come, right?”
It wasn’t an invitation, it was an order, one that I was happy to obey.
I slumped into a chair, my relief palpable. My friends wanted me to go away with them, they wouldn’t abandon me.
“Yes,” I whispered, close to tears. “Yes, I’ll come.”
57
ERIK FONS AND ALEX HARVEY
THE HOSPITAL, THEN HOLLAND SPOOR
14.7.15 Mid-morning
There is no change in Naomi’s condition. The baby remains alive inside her. It would be for the best for this couple if the baby slipped away, Alex couldn’t help but think. Immediately he chastises himself for this thought. Elian was the product of something less than perfect, but she was still perfect. And he, Alex, is the result of a still married couple, but he couldn’t be further away from them in terms of close relationships.
Blood isn’t everything, he thinks.
He glances over at Erik, wonders what the man is thinking as he stares down at the woman he loves who is carrying another man’s child.
Alex looks at his watch. They are supposed to be visiting the doctor who had treated Elian, and Alex is eager to get on with it. The doctor may have her address, surely has her address, and Alex wants to get it, wants to go and knock on her door and show her that he is here because he cares about her. He wants to tell her what a mess he was in when she left, and whatever she wants to do, whatever she feels she has to do out here he will help her.
But thoughts of her true parentage hurtle at him, punching at him like a forgotten nightmare that he has just remembered. Does he tell her the truth? Is it even his truth to tell her? He groans audibly, causing Erik to look over at him.
“You ready to go?” Erik asks, looking back at Naomi, inert in the hospital bed.
“Oh, sorry, I was … thinking about something else,” Alex replies, hoping Erik doesn’t think he was being impatient with him.
Another first, being concerned what someone thinks of him.
Elian, what have you done to me?
“Thinking about your girl?” Erik says.
Alex grins, shrugs.
“Well, I hope you have a happier ending than me, pal,” replies Erik, and pushes past Alex out into the corridor.
“So, shit like this doesn’t usually happen here?” asks Alex as Erik drives at a steady and careful pace away from the hospital.
Erik flicks a sideways glance at Alex. “No, never.” His mouth sets in a grim line. “Places like this, like Amsterdam, where everything is legal is usually the safest place to be.”
Alex nods. He knows, he agrees - he’s read High Society, the novel based on an MP who is on a mission to legalise everything. And usually, the concept works. No matter how ludicrous it sounds at first, when you think about it, it actually makes sense. But there is something else at work here. And Elian is here.
And a man called Lev.
Erik interrupts his thoughts. “Of course, there was a big murder about fifteen years ago, it shocked everyone. It’s the one, big, bad thing that actually happened here.” Erik sounds almost boastful as he speaks.
“What happened?” asks Alex.
“Three Irish guys were killed, slaughtered in their apartment. The killer and his accomplice got arrested, but the guy …” Erik trails off, seemingly lost in thought. “The accomplice’s sentence was nowhere near as long as it should have been.” Erik pressed his lips together, before spitting bitterly, “it should have been life, ten times over.”
“Why wasn’t it?”
“That’s where it gets interesting, there was this guy, the Colonel, nobody knew who he was, only those in his circle and they would never talk, word has it he was this big, local figure, but he was like a legend, you know? Anyway, the guy who was an accomplice, he got lighter jail time, because he was a bit, you know …” Erik puts a finger to his own head and spins it around. “The Colonel is said to have got this boy a shorter sentence, probably felt sorry for him, being a bit simple and all. It was a weird thing, a strange time.”
Alex scratches his head. “Seriously? Were you involved in the case? And who was this Colonel?”
Erik shrugs, peers into his mirror before carefully undertaking a
