As fall deepened the weather took on a chill, not enough to wear big sweaters or anything to cover up—this was California, after all—but a few lightweight, gauzy cover-ups helped her feel concealed. Mary didn’t say anything, just complimented her on her style and played with Louie. The puppy had become a favorite in the Black household and BB doubted she was allowed to come visit at all if she didn’t have both dogs in tow.
When Louie was three months old, she took him in for his cleft palate surgery. Mary went in with her for moral support and BB almost told her then about the baby. Her tummy had been off all morning and it was a struggle to even get moving that day. She’d felt drained and just too emotional. Not good going in with her pup for dangerous surgery. She kept her secrets to herself, though, hoping that Mary wouldn’t mind when it was finally revealed.
If she didn’t hear from Lincoln by Christmas, she would let Mary know about the pregnancy.
Dr. Marsh came out when he was done with the surgery and let her know how well Louie had done. To her everloving embarrassment, BB broke into tears. Mary gave her a long look and BB had a feeling the gig was up, but she didn’t call her out. Instead she handed her another tissue and rubbed her back until the tears abated. BB couldn’t have appreciated her more.
It took a about an hour for Louie to come around and be himself again, and he didn’t appear to even notice he’d had surgery. A couple of times she spotted him moving his mouth oddly, like he was feeling the stitches inside his mouth, but he went back to gnawing on his favorite stuffed chicken.
Mary never said anything to her that day or the following week, but BB felt guilty for not letting her friend know what was going on. It was especially hard a few days later. BB was standing at the sink loading the dishwasher when she had an odd feeling in her stomach. Not gas, she didn’t think. Something…different. Could it be the baby? It just felt like something had brushed the inside of her skin. Holding still, she waited for the sensation again, but it didn’t happen. In that moment she desperately wanted to call Mary and tell her, but she forced herself away from the phone. Her brother had had kids but she didn’t feel close enough to him or his wife to ask her personal questions like that.
Instead, she researched doctors and finally managed to snag an appointment with the OBGYN at the top of her list two days later. The doctor, a heavier set woman with iron gray hair, smiled at her kindly when she talked to her, and BB knew that no matter what she would keep this doctor. Dr. Wood explained everything to her in easy terms and understood the uncertainty she was feeling with Lincoln deployed.
Then the doctor instructed her to lay back and lift her gown. She squirted KY jelly onto BB’s stomach and ran a wand through it.
“Can you hear the heartbeat already?” BB asked incredulously, her own heartbeat picking up.
“Oh, yes. Just a minute,” the doctor told her, smiling. Then the sound of a racing heartbeat echoed through the room, and BB gasped. It was so strong and steady.
“Sounds like a champ to me,” the doctor said, grinning. She printed off a tape of the heartbeat and handed it to her, then ran the wand around and appeared to be doing measurements. Eventually, she wiped BB’s belly clean. “Your man is going to be thrilled, I know he is.”
BB laughed a little uncertainly. “Well, I think so, but we’ll see.”
“And how far along did you think you were?”
BB blinked at her. “About three months?”
The woman shook her head, leaning forward to look at some measurements. “I think you’re closer to four, actually.”
Damn. That would mean she and Lincoln had only been together about a month when she got pregnant. They’d been going at it like rabbits, then, so it was entirely possible that they’d slipped somewhere.
She stared at that tape of heartbeats all day and posted it on the refrigerator when she got home. Every night before she went to bed she looked at it, and every morning when she woke up. For two weeks she stared at that tape, until a new one replaced it. Then, two weeks later, at twenty weeks, she went in for an ultrasound and they took a picture of the baby inside her. BB cried and ached for Lincoln to be with her.
“Do you want to know what the sex is?” Dr. Wood asked, smiling down at her.
She thought about that for a moment, then shook her head. “Is there any way you can give me a picture, but put the picture that tells the sex in an envelope? I want to open it with the father.”
Dr. Wood nodded, her smile softening. “I definitely can. If you close your eyes for a minute I’ll take care of that for you.”
The magic wand swirled around and it was one of the hardest things, to keep her eyes closed. Even if she opened them she doubted she would be able to make sense of the black and white pictures, but it would be tempting to try.
“Okay, here you go.”
BB took the envelope, a sense of foreboding and anticipation rolling through her. She would put this somewhere safe and imagine opening it every day.
That visit impelled her to get a move on with the renovation she wanted. Contractors were plentiful in the area but booked out for a long time. She finally settled on one that was highly rated, Dave Colson. When she told him what she wanted he was extremely amenable and didn’t foresee any problems. At first, he told her it would be after Christmas before they could even start on it, but she knew this game. When
