“All year?” Haven asked, voice rough from disuse.
Raine didn’t let her excitement show that he had spoken to her. “Yes. All year.” She leaned toward him a little. “Can I tell you a secret?”
Haven blinked and gave the slightest nod of his head.
“I have lights up in my closet now,” she grinned, and pointed up toward her apartment.
Something went soft in Haven’s eyes and he gave the smallest of smiles. If she had blinked she would have missed it.
“What do you remember from your childhood? It can be about Christmas or not.”
Haven’s eyes shut and he breathed deeply. Raine thought that perhaps he had fallen asleep and was about to get up when his eyes opened again, looking confused. “It’s hard to sort out but I think I remember sitting at the soda counter, getting a Coke with my brother.”
“Oh, yeah, one of those fountain counters they used to have at department stores?”
“Yes,” he breathed.
That was all he said, but Raine considered it a win. Over the past few weeks he’d only spoken to her a handful of times. Usually he was too far lost in his own head, so she appreciated the gift that it was. She didn’t like sedating him and she would very happily put the loaded syringe back into the lockbox.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?”
Haven gave a shake of his head. “Not this time. I’m sorry I scared you.”
Raine dared to reach out and rest a hand on his propped arm. “It’s okay. It really is. You’re dealing with things the way you need to. I think you scared Paul but he’ll understand.”
For a moment Haven looked at her hand on his arm. Raine was about to withdraw it when he shifted and rested his second hand over top of hers for a bare second, then he pulled away. But he also pulled the blanket tighter around himself. Raine felt like she’d just been dismissed, so she got up and left.
Noah waited for her at the junction of the hallways. His arms were crossed over his chest and he was scowling. His face eased a little when he spotted her and she wondered if he’d been worried about her.
“I’m sorry,” he said bluntly. “I should have listened to your instructions.”
“Yes,” she agreed. “You should have. Those reports that we put out are out there for a reason. I know you’re not on this floor very often but you still need to be aware.”
“You are completely correct,” he said, sighing. “I’m still finding my way in this new position and I reacted to danger like I was still in my old position.”
Raine could see the self-directed anger and she felt bad. She didn’t need to yap at him. “No one was hurt. That’s the most important thing.”
He blinked down at her and nodded. “Are they always that vivid?”
She turned and they started down the hallway toward the nurse’s station. “Yes. But he came out of that one fairly quickly. Sometimes he’s lost for hours, fighting men with guns or sometimes other prisoners. If it looks like it’s going to be a long episode I can sedate him, but we’re trying to wean him off the drugs. If there’s an alternate way we can find to help him deal with what’s going on in his head, we will.”
Raine moved around the counter and she could feel Noah’s eyes following her. His gaze put her on edge, in a purely feminine way, though she really didn’t think anything would come of it. Maybe he was just hanging around because he felt guilty. “Don’t worry, Noah, you didn’t do anything any other Marine wouldn’t do when confronted with an armed soldier.”
He huffed out a laugh. “How did you know I was a Marine?”
Raine glanced at him, grinning slightly and her eyes drifted down his body of their own volition. “Educated guess,” she murmured, turning back to her task.
Once she was ready she headed back down the hallway toward Haven’s room. Noah walked along beside her and she glanced at him, surprised. “I promise you, I’m safe. He’s never manifested anything concrete and I’m fairly immune to what he does.”
“Why is that?” he asked, leaning down to peer into her eyes as they walked.
Raine frowned, a little embarrassed over the scrutiny. “I’m not sure, exactly. I can just always tell when they’re not real.”
As she walked into Haven’s room again Noah hung back at the doorway.
She knelt down beside her patient again. “Haven, I have something for you.”
He didn’t move for a long moment. Raine wondered if he would even look up. She held her breath as she waited for a response. Finally, he lifted his head, appearing more tired than normal. Smiling slightly she held the cup of Diet- Coke out to him. Haven didn’t move as he looked at the cup, but specters began to coalesce. Raine observed them out of the corners of her eyes, but didn’t do anything more than that, just waited to see if he would take the cup. Maybe he’d been drugged this way before. Was that why his hackles were up?
“Haven, look at me,” she ordered softly. It took him a long moment to lift his tortured gaze.
Very deliberately she lifted the cup up and drew on the straw, swallowing. “There’s nothing in here,” she promised, then held the cup out to him again. This time, Haven took it, watching her carefully. Then he looked down at the cup and his expression filled with need. With another sad look to her, as if even if it was poison he would take it, he lifted the straw to his own lips and drew.
Pain washed over his features and for a minute Raine wondered what she’d done to hurt him. There was nothing in that pop. Then his eyes flicked to hers. “Thank you, Nurse. Even though it’s
