That seemed to be the breaking point. “Fuckyou,” Kyle growled, pushing Matt as if he were the one coming ontohim and not the other way around. “I got news for you,Matthew. We all have dreams, okay? We all have ideals, the perfectman in mind, the one we want more than anyone else in the world.The proverbial ‘Mr. Right.’ But let me tell you something—hedoesn’t exist. There’s no such thing as ‘true love,’ or ‘soulmates,’ or any of that romantic crap Hallmark wants you to believe.There’s you, and there’s me, and for a few great moments maybe wecan make it mean something more between us, but you got to settlefor what you can get. It’s all anyone can hope for out oflife.”
In the memory, Matt’s lower lip trembled. His darkeyes shone like pools of reflected starlight. Vic could see theemotions warring across his features, denial mingled with desire,want and need as blatant as the hurt and fear they struggled tosuppress. A lifetime of guilt ate away at him; Vic knew he thoughtof Jordan, and the unusual powers his seed might bestow on Kyle.The basic human need for comfort and love fought with the fear ofrejection, or abuse, or betrayal. Every nerve of Matt seemed totremble, as if at any second he’d burst into flames and put an endto the internal fires that burned deep within him.
More than anything else in that one moment, Vicwanted to take that man in his arms, the one years ago trying sohard to hold out for something more than what the guy beside himoffered. He wanted to hold that Matt close, to kiss away thetears, to tell him to just wait a little longer because he knew howthe story ended, he knew things got better. A few monthsafter this memory, Vic had connected with Matt again. But here, onthe cusp of that relationship, Matt’s heart dangled in the balance.Don’t give in, Vic pleaded silently. The memory was so aliveto him, so real, that he felt he needed to plead with hisfuture lover to be strong and hold out for him. You’vewaited this long. Just hold out a little longer and then I comeinto the picture, Matty. I am that man in your dreams, the one whowill love you more than anyone ever could. Just wait for me,please…
As Matt teetered on the brink of surrender, Kyle’shand drifted to Matt’s crotch again. “Come on,” he cajoled, runninghis other hand through Matt’s tousled hair. “You can’t hold outforever.”
That decided it. In a huff, Matt stood up, knockingKyle aside. “I’ve got to go.”
“Fuck you then,” Kyle muttered again. He fell intoMatt’s seat and stretched out along the couch. “I’m not playingyour games, Matthew. A relationship is ninety percent sex—if youwon’t give me that, what do we have?”
Matt’s voice was dull, listless, as he stepped intohis sneakers. “Nothing, I guess.”
“You walk out now and that’s it,” Kyle warned. Notrealizing that it was himself driving the man away, he watched indisbelief as Matt headed for the door. “We’re through, you hear me?If you leave now, I—”
The memory ended with the slamming of the door.
In Vic’s arms, Matt sniffled, bringing them both backto the present, where the water on the stove had begun to bubbleand the burner hissed like a spitting cat as the water boiled over.Matt pulled away and Vic let him go, but not very far—he kept onehand on Matt’s shoulder, unwilling to lose his lover’s touch.“That’s why I’m so set on going tomorrow,” Matt muttered as heturned down the stove so the potatoes could cook. “I’ll show thatbastard just how wrong he was. I didn’t settle for less. And lookwhat I got.”
He grabbed Vic’s hand in both of his, brushed hislips over the rough knuckles, then pulled Vic to him. His mouthcovered Vic’s with a demanding kiss as if to prove the depth andbreadth of his love. That insistent kiss let loose a tumult offeeling that rushed over Vic like a tidal wave, dragging him under,taking his breath away. He stumbled against Matt, his knees weak.His chest felt too small for the heart swelling inside, and thezipper on his pants parted beneath an erection that rose from thestrength of Matt’s kiss.
He felt Matt smile against his lips, and then hislover murmured into him, “I got you. And I’m going to shove hisface in it, show him just how damn good it can get. Let himchoke on that.”
* * * *
Chapter 15
Vic spent the early part of Saturday lounging aroundthe apartment, dressed in his bathrobe. A little before noon, hechanged, pulling on an old tank top and a thin pair of boxers. Mattwore something similar; they looked like a pair of bums but it feltdamn good not to have to dress in work duds. He wouldn’t botherwith clothing at all if not for Kyle’s damn get-together and Matt’sdesire to show that ass just how wrong he’d been about holding outfor…
For me.
Vic felt an unusual twinge of pride. He wasn’t acatch in anyone’s book—he knew what he looked like, he faced offwith that big lug of a man in the mirror every morning. He wasn’tabout to start winning any beauty pageants this late in the game,God knew. There were sexier men out there, handsome devils withbewitching smiles and beguiling personalities that sparkled andbubbled like champagne. But no one, nowhere, could love Matt theway Vic did. The sun rose with that man, it set on his command. Vicwould stop the world if Matt asked. The only thing he lived for wasto love him.
By early afternoon Matt sat at one end of the couch,a book in hand; Vic stretched along the cushions, his head in hislover’s lap, as he flipped through the channels on the television.He settled for something on the History Channel, not so muchbecause it interested him but because he was tired of looking.Matt’s hand strummed along Vic’s chest,
