The hand on his back clenched into a fist; Mattdidn’t have to turn to feel Vic’s rage threatening to boil over.For several long moments Matt tried to find his voice, tried tospeak, tried to negate the charges, but the words wouldn’t come.His mind whirled out in anger, his whole body ached like a rottentooth, his hands shook so hard he had to hold onto himself tight tokeep from shaking apart. All eyes in the room were on him, and thewalls seemed to be closing in, he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think,couldn’t speak…”No.”
Officer Jones leaned forward, an exaggerated gesture.“Excuse me?”
Matt shook his head and said it again, louder. “No. Ididn’t—I’d never…” He let out a lusty sigh and lowered his headinto his hand, his finger and thumb pinching the bridge of his noseuntil bright spots flared behind his closed eyes. Vic rubbed hisspine, warming him, giving him the strength he needed to say itagain, with conviction this time. “No. He’s lying. He kept me thereagainst my will.”
“Can you talk about it?” Ms. Reynolds asked. “Tell uswhat happened, and why?”
Officer Jones glanced past Matt at Vic; somethingunspoken passed between them. The sarcasm was thick in her voicewhen she said, “Oh, we know why. Mr. Dubrowski claims there’ssomething supernatural in your semen, Mr. diLorenzo. Claims itgives your sexual partners super powers.”
The world seemed to crash to a halt around him. Heheard his own loud breath, and felt the heat of Vic’s hand throughthe thin fabric of his shirt. ::Didn’t I tell you it’d come tothis?:: he asked his lover, speaking through the connectionthey shared. ::Didn’t I say—::
But then Officer Jones smirked, and Matt felt hisheart expand at that tiny gesture. “My response to him was, ‘Yeah,right.’ If he’s hoping for an insanity plea, he’s going to have todo a hell of a lot better than that. So why don’t you tellus the truth, Mr. diLorenzo?”
Ms. Reynolds smiled for the first time; suddenly Mattthought her quite pretty. “You probably don’t know exactly why Mr.Dubrowski singled you out for this,” she told him. “A lot of timesthere is no real reason for sexual assault, but victims tend toblame themselves—what they wore, what they said. I want you to knowthat it isn’t your fault. You didn’t ask for this, you don’tdeserve it. And you’re not the one on trial here, Mr. diLorenzo.We’re on your side.”
Matt found himself able to breathe again; he took adeep breath to steady himself and clear his mind. With a glanceover his shoulder at Vic, he said, “I’ll tell you what I can. Wheredo you want me to begin?”
* * * *
Chapter 30
After an hour or so, the police left, their questionsanswered. Officer Jones warned Vic he might be brought up oncharges at some point—”Removing a witness from the scene,” she saidin an off-hand manner suggesting she thought he shouldn’t losesleep over it, “leaving the scene of a crime, tampering withevidence, stuff like that. But if this gets a jury trial, and I’msure it will, at some point, we’ll just call in experts to testifyyou did the right thing, moving Matt to a safe place beforecontacting the authorities.”
When she said the word experts, Ms. Reynoldsflashed Matt a warm smile. “You have my card,” she told him. “Iknow you’re in good hands here, Mr. diLorenzo, but if you need totalk things out or want to get involved with a group or something,just give me a call.”
As Vic closed the door behind them, he asked, “Didn’tI tell you she’d play it cool?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Matt said, but he felt better justtelling someone else. Though he still felt hollow inside, now itseemed as if he were more emptied than scooped out, not so much aninvasive act but one of his own choosing. With all the shit he’dbeen through now dumped onto the police’s lap, he felt as if hecould begin to fill himself up again. With life, with love…withVic. Grapping a handful of his lover’s shirt, Matt pulled himclose, until he could wrap his arms around Vic’s thick waist. “Comehere, you.”
Vic’s arms enfolded him, and Matt rested his chin onVic’s shoulder as he held on tight. The thought of the comingevening scared him—taking off his clothes, lying beside another—andit bothered him that he should feel so hesitant around the man heloved. But Vic’s strength filled him every time they touched, andhe knew he would move on. Maybe not tonight, and maybe nottomorrow, but someday soon. Picking up on that thought, Vic kissedMatt’s neck just below his ear, and his breath tickled Matt’s skinwhen he whispered, “It’ll take time. I know.”
Matt knew he couldn’t ask for anything more thanthat.
* * * *
Dinner was a quiet affair, baked chicken and boiledwhite rice, bland but comforting. Afterwards Vic sent Matt into theliving room while he cleaned up. He drifted to the end of thecouch, sat down, and stared at the blank television for a fullminute before he thought maybe he should turn it on. The worldaround him still seemed muted, dull, lifeless almost, as if a partof him had died and they were all in mourning. He couldn’t begin tothink what Vic might be feeling—his lover kept a firm grip on hisown emotions, projecting nothing but love and understandingwhenever Matt peeked inside his head, but what if something in Vicwas now disgusted with Matt? Didn’t want to touch what Jordan haddefiled or, worse, didn’t think he’d be able to arouse Matt afterall that sexual perversion? What if this hesitation continued intothe rest of their lives, eventually tearing them apart? It would beall Matt’s fault—
::Don’t ever think that, Matty.:: Silently hislover’s voice admonished him, and when Vic entered the living room,cups of coffee in both hands, his stern face dared Matt tocontradict him. “I still love you,” he said as he handed Matt acup. The coffee was strong and laced with brandy. “I’ll always loveyou, you know that, so don’t
