I pounded on thedoor for what felt like hours, kicking it and throwing my body withas much force as I could muster, but it never fell. My entire bodyached along with my fists as bruises formed all over theplace.
I shoved myselffrom the door and paced back and forth in the black room, my handssweaty with anxiety as I thought long and hard about how to breakthe fuck out of this prison that was my life. How could I get amessage to my family to run?
I felt myselfbegin to hyperventilate. I needed to calm myself the fuck down if Iwas going to think clearly and figure this out. I forced myself tostop pacing and stood very still, taking long, deep breaths andexhaling them slowly. I needed to be rational; I needed tofocus.
In a roomsurrounded by sex toys of pain and torture, I found a way to drownit all out and concentrate on one singular moment. I lowered myselfdown to my knees, parted them slightly in a comfortable position,and placed my hands lightly on top of my thighs. Bowing my head, Iclosed my eyes and quieted my mind. I silenced everything around meuntil the only thing I could hear was the sound of my ownheartbeat.
I listened to itintently; the sound and strength of each beatresonated through mewhile I brought myself to an absolute calm. Nothing was around mefor miles, nothing above me or below me. There was just me andnothing else.
I relaxed everymuscle in my body one by one, releasing the tension from myshoulders that reached all the way to my lower back. I took long,deep breaths, sucking them in through my nose and breathing outthrough my mouth, releasing all my stress andanguish.
I took about tenminutes of pure solid meditation before my heart rate had slowedand I felt in control of myself again. My fear was gone, replacedwith determination for a solution.
And then it allwent to shit when my stomach growled like a miserable littlebitch.
I had forgotten Ihadn’t eaten yet, and it was probably well into the afternoon. Itwasn’t like Darren to starve me, but maybe with today’s events,he’d forgotten. I stood up from my position, my stomach now tightfrom hunger pains as I walked over to the edge of the bed and satdown, facing the door. My hands gripped the edge of the mattress asI waited for Darren to enter the room. It was maybe an hour laterwhen the door finally opened.
I nearly joltedforward, ready to rush the door when I saw Scott slide half of hisbody through to glare at me in warning.
“Don’t.” Hepointed at me. “There are two more guards out here, so don’t bothertrying anything. I’m just bringing you some food since you haven’teaten all day.”
I just glared athim, my knuckles turning white as they continued to grip themattress.
“Well, make itquick before I change my mind,” I warned him, a slight hint ofbitchy sarcasm on my tongue.
He gave me a smirkand then walked in with a silver tray, quickly shutting the doorbehind him. I watched him with hard eyes as he set the tray down onthe nightstand and headed back to the door.
“Tell me,” I saidto him before he opened the door. He turned to look at me. “Are youlooking forward to helping Darren hunt down my family or are youjust following orders?”
He just shook hishead at me with a glare and shut the door behind him, the sound ofthe lock vibrating in the pit of my stomach. I turned my headtoward the tray sitting on the nightstand and walked over to it.There was a plastic bowl of what looked like a thick potato soup, aplate of Greek salad, and a cup of mixed fruit. There was also agiant bottle of water with a small folded note next to it. I pickedit up and unfolded it to find Darren’s writing.
Your practice ofmeditation is impressive.
Use it to containyour outbursts next time
and I may not haveto punish you as often.
-Darren
Fury raced throughmy veins as I crumpled the note in my hand and chucked it at thedoor. Fuck him for watching me. He was alwayswatching, though, so Ididn’t know why I was surprised. I snatched the bottle of waterfrom the tray and gulped down nearly half of it. I nibbled on thesoup and salad and had only a few bites of the fruit. With all theknots in my stomach, I didn’t have much room for anythingelse.
Exhausted andfull, I laid my head down on the pillow and curled into myself. Iclosed my eyes and hoped for the first time that maybe I justwouldn’t wake up and this would all be over.
ChapterThirty-Five
Crumble
I heard screaming.Sharp screams that pierced my ears. I could see the gardenerscreeching in fear, his face and body covered in blood as he watched while his family wasmurdered in front of his eyes. But someone else was standing in thebackground, someone I had forced myself to forget long ago. Megan,the girl from the warehouse, whom I had tried to instill hope inonly for her to have her neck snapped by Darren right in front ofmy eyes. I now had two deaths to claim responsibility for and itmade me weep.
“Your fault,”Megan said in the background as she watched the gardener with calmindifference.
“No,” I whisperedback, my tears ready to drown me.
Then a loud bangshattered my ears and a small black and red bullet hole appearedbetween the eyes of the gardener.
My vision warpeduntil I suddenly saw my family, my friends … Jason. They were allrunning, running from a storm of bullets that rained down on themfrom all directions. Blood spilled and splattered everywhere,coating everything in a dark glossy red. I fought to save them, butI felt paralyzed, unable to move even an inch to try to help them.I watched as both of my younger brothers fell to the ground, deepcrimson
