The iPod did make the boring days in myroom easier, though. I couldlisten to music for hours without even realizing it, especially nowas it was the best distraction from my current nightmare.Sometimes, a song would come on that would remind me of someone Imissed, but I couldn't linger on my family or Jason. Thinking aboutthem hurt too much, and I needed to stay focused on myself and whatI needed to do if I ever wanted to make it back to them.
I only allowed myself to linger on oneperson, a person I really missed: Kayla. I still wondered where shewas, who had bought her, butat least, I knew she was alive. Iwanted to bring her up again so many times to get more info fromDarren, but I knew he wouldn’t disclose anything. I would have toworry about rescuing her later. I had to focus on myself firstbefore I could help anyone else.
The Russian women came back earlier in theweek to repair and repaint my nails. This time, they did somethingfun with the French manicure, leaving a sparkly silver line justbelow the white tip. They did the same to my toes. Since I lost atpool, I did not get to pick thecolor, but I didn’t really care that much about it. The ladies evenremoved the unwanted hair that began to grow back since my lastwaxing treatment. I wasn’t too pleased with it but what could I do?The ladies still seemed skittish, and Anya remained quiet as ever,but Irina tried to keep things light with her fake-ass smile. Sheknew something was wrong with me,but she was too afraid to act on it.
As Thursday approached, I found my isolationfrom the world to be another mind game of Darren’s. He was the onlyone I talked to, or was allowed to talk to, so when he finally cameto collect me when he came home for the day, I was happy just tofinally have someone to converse with, even if it was only him. Itried talking to Scott one time when he brought my lunch up, butthat didn’t last long and a short-lived phone call from Darren removed any thoughtsof ever uttering another syllable to anyone other than him.
I tried to keep myself light and positivemost of the time to show Darren that he had not broken my spirit. Istill sparred with him every now and then, but he was a liar if hesaid he didn’t enjoy it. The tent in his pants always gave himaway. It was aggressively playful at best anyway, and if it strokedhis ego then fine, but it usually just ended in me inevitablystroking something else. That was all part of the plan, though. If he could have fun with me, evenif it were a form of abuse, then Iwould take it if it meant he would fall for me. And he was. He justdidn’t know it yet.
For the most part, Darren had becomesomewhat tolerable to me during that week. He was almost a perfectgentleman – sweet, attentive, polite, but it only remained as longas I followed his rules. If I stepped out of line by even an inch,he would pounce with that warning glare of his, reminding me thathe was only holding back from his usual punishments due to my weekof reflection.
I was learning quickly when it came to histriggers and when to pull them or not. Anticipating his demands wascoming easier, too, but when he reminded me that my week ofreflection was coming to an end, it made me wonder if everythingwould really change that much. I had managed to remain good allweek, and I was hell-bent on staying in Darren’s good graces. Butlittle did I know how quickly things were going to escalate when myweek of reflection was over.
On Sunday, Darren was late coming home fromwhatever shit he was doing that day, and I ended up having mydinner alone in my room. He finally came and got me around 7 p.m. Isomehow found myself excited to see him, but I told myself it wasonly because I was lonely and I wanted to get the fuck out of thisroom.
“I’m sorry I’m late,” he said as he enteredmy room. “Something needed my immediate attention.”
“That’s okay,” I said getting up from mychaise and walking over to him.
He took me into a heavy embrace and kissedme for a long time. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he missedme.
“Come on,” he said taking my hand andleading me out to the hallway. “I have a surprise for you.”
My stomach immediately twisted into tightlittle knots as I remembered the last time Darren had a surprisefor me. I hoped today would be different, but I was so fuckingwrong.
He led me down one of the hallways and wecame into an office containing a long medical bed with outstretchedarms in the center of the room. A man sat on an ottoman next to atray of instruments that I was not able to make out. Tattooscovered the man, and he had his back to me as he fiddled with theinstruments. Fear broke out over my entire body as I was hoping toGod that the tattoo gun I finally saw wasn't for me.
“Darren, what the fuck,” I said, looking upat him, visible trepidation and anxiety spread all across myface.
“Your week of reflection is over, Jaden. It’s time to show me what beingmine means to you.”
And then I heard the buzz of the tattoo gun,and I flinched as the sound penetrated my ears. Fuck. No.
“Darren, p-please. This isn’t necessary.” Myvoice shook; I couldn’t contain the fear in it if I tried. I knewwhat he wanted on my body, and the thought of seeing his fuckingname permanently scribed on myskin made me want to claw my own flesh off so there was nothingleft to tattoo.
“Jaden, this is happening whether you wantit or not. Now, get your ass in that chair and don’t make
