If only she knew…
I ignored her and snatched a breath mint from the basket in the counter of the
sink, hurrying out of the bathroom before she could observe my odd behavior
further. Popping the mint into my mouth, I found myself nearly racing back to the
table to prove to Darren that I hadn’t broken any of his rules. My guards actually
seemed to be having difficulty keeping up with me, but I couldn’t discredit them
fully. I was able to weave in and around people like no one’s business.
When I finally made it back to the table, my heart was racing, and my breathing
uneven. My eyes went straight to the table, fearful to look up at Darren. I could
already feel him brooding from across the table. I sucked on my mint and kept my
hands in my lap as I fought to keep my nerves down. This was so fucking stupid. I
didn’t understand why I was reacting like such a little bitch, but I was so fearful of
fucking up out here that I no longer felt safe. It felt like a trap, like a deliberate dark
trap meant to torment me with an idea that no longer existed for me. At least not
yet.
“You threw up, didn’t you,” Darren finally spoke. It wasn’t a question.
I nodded, my eyes locked on the table, my body rigid with fear. I knew he didn’t
like it when I threw up my food, but when it came to my nerves, my stomach held
no ground. Darren cursed under his breath.
“Look at me,” he demanded.
Almost instantly, my eyes shot to his, the dark blue surrounding me and
reminding me why I should be afraid in the first place.
“Do you want some air?” he asked simply.
“Yes,” I said on a whisper, trying hard not to sound like I was pleading with hm.
“Come with me,” he ordered, standing up and holding out my coat for me to slip
on. I placed my arms into the coat and allowed Darren to drape it over my shoulders
before buttoning it up. My hat and gloves were next while Darren buttoned his coat.
He then took my hand and directed me to the doors that led to the restaurant’s
wrap-around balcony. Pulling me through the doors, he motioned for the guards to
stay behind inside and led me over to the railing.
Caging me in with his arms, Darren pulled me to him in a tight embrace.
“Slow, deep breaths,” he said, his voice soft and surprisingly soothing.
I did as he said, taking long, deep inhales and exhaling through my nose, filling
my lungs with the crisp cold air of the mountain. After about a minute, I felt much
calmer.
“Better?” he asked when I was noticeably calm.
“Yes, thank you.”
“Good. Now, what was going on back there?”
I had to release another breath before gaining the courage to answer.
“I just … started to panic. I’m not sure why.”
“Jaden, you were scared. What were you afraid of?”
I looked up to his face to find his features sincere, washed with concern. It gave
me the strength I needed to answer.
“I’m scared of screwing up. I’m sorry. I just don’t feel comfortable out here.
Maybe I just wasn’t ready for this yet.”
Darren sighed, his eyes glancing up before returning them to me. “Turn
around,” he said and nudged me with his shoulders.
I went with his motion, pressing my back into his chest while his hands rested
on the railing to cage me within his body. For once, I took comfort in that. I felt
shielded … protected. And it was odd that I found myself embracing that comfort.
In the warmth of his embrace, I could see skiers and snowboarders off in the
distance, sliding down the snow and kicking up clouds of white powder in their
wake. I became instantly envious that I wasn’t down there with them. I wanted to
fly like they were.
“Do you snowboard?” I asked Darren.
“Occasionally,” he replied.
“Are you any good?”
He released a soft chuckle. “There isn’t much I’m not good at.”
I covertly rolled my eyes. Of course, he was good at nearly everything.
“I miss it,” I added.
Darren was silent for a moment before he answered. “Maybe next year we’ll hit
the slopes.”
“Really?”
“Sure, when I’m confident in your durability.”
I shook my head and sighed. “You’re doing it again.”
“Doing what?”
“Treating me like a flower.”
I felt Darren lower his lips to my ear. “How should I treat you then?”
I gulped back my response but answered anyway. “How about as your equal and
not your prisoner?”
“You have yet to earn that status.”
“I am trying…”
“Are you sure? You seem very content with challenging your guards to the point
of attempting to manipulate me into killing them.”
I scoffed. “I’m curious. What would you have me do when the men charged with
watching over me taunt me?”
“Taunt you how?”
“Romero and Alex enjoyed pushing me in ways that encouraged my natural
rebellious behavior.”
“Then you will come to me, and I will handle it.”
“And if they don’t let me? If you’re gone?”
“Then you will deal with it until I return. They will not keep you from me.”
“You know how well that will go down,” I said, shaking my head. “Dealing”
wasn’t exactly my specialty.
“And how
