head up.
“The next time you feel the need to lie to me or complain to me about what you
don’t have or what you think you need, I’ll remind you of why you should be
grateful for what it is you do have. Got it?”
“Yes, Darren,” I whispered, my mouth now dryer than a desert.
“There are plenty of other things I could do to keep you easily preoccupied. One
of them would only take about eight months,” he sneered.
My heart instantly slammed into my stomach. No. No, no, no …
I could not handle the idea of being forced to have his fucking kids. Not this
early in the game. Not when I still had time to destroy him before he officially
destroyed me.
My eyes went wide, pleading with him to withdraw his threat, my head daring to
shake slightly from side to side. He caught my plea.
“Then be a good girl and do as I say,” he said as he pulled back and righted
himself. “Now, I have a business trip tonight. I’ll be gone for about three days.
You’re to remain inside until I return. Maybe that will teach you some appreciation
for my generosity.”
Darren gripped my hair again and pulled me away from the table to stand.
“Now, kiss me goodbye properly,” he ordered. And I did, just the way I was
supposed to, loving and hating the feel of his lips against mine, and somehow still
wanting more. When he was done, my lips were swollen, and my breath officially
gone. “Be a good girl while I’m gone,” he said, kissed my temple, and then left.
49
GRATEFUL
The three days Darren was gone were spent in more boredom than I thought
possible. Not being able to go outside was the worst, especially since the sun was
out in full blaze every day. I hadn’t thought about how much it would suck for
Camaro too since she was now officially trapped in here with me. At least Owen was
nice enough to take her outside so she could go to the bathroom since I wasn’t
allowed to take her out.
I was still kicking myself for that argument. I could have approached it at least
ten ways better, but instead, I let my anger get the best of me, and I lashed out at
him. I needed to regain my self-control, and this was certainly a harsh lesson to
learn that. I didn’t even know what to expect from him, what solution he was going
to provide me for my need to communicate with others, but obviously, I had gotten
my answer.
His threat to impregnate me tripled my anxiety for days. I didn’t know how I
would be able to escape him while carrying his child. What would be worse was
would I be able to leave that child behind if it came to that? I really didn’t want to
be forced into a position where I would have to choose between my life or the life of
my child. I wanted my children to grow up in a loving and happy family, not one
built on crime and violence. I would not see my children grow up the way Darren’s
mother had.
Even when Darren did come back, I avoided him like the plague, and he still
refused to let me out of the house. Bastard. I couldn’t even sit on my balcony to feel
the wind on my face. I was going stir-crazy in that house, but I tried to keep it to
myself as best I could.
“Stop sulking,” Darren had said to me as I rolled over in his bed, waiting for
sleep to claim me.
“I am not sulking,” I replied into the pillow, wincing my eyes shut as I felt him
move behind me.
His big hand reached around my ribcage and pulled me back so I was lying face
up, facing him right above me.
“I know sulking when I see it, princess,” he commented.
“You still haven’t let me out of the house.”
“And whose fault is that?”
Here we go again with answering my own questions.
“Nobody but mine. I know,” I answered, sighing in defeat. “I just don’t know
how to communicate with you anymore.”
“You have to learn to let go of your anger and accept what is,” he said sincerely,
like that was somehow the answer to all my problems. “That’s what gets you in
trouble with me.”
“So much easier said than done,” I replied, shaking my head.
“Control is a difficult thing to master, especially when it goes against your basic
instincts. But I have a feeling one day you will eventually learn to stop poking the
bear.”
“Yeah.” I sighed. I don’t know where I found it, but I suddenly found the courage
to literally poke him in the chest. “But the problem is sometimes the bear likes to
be poked.”
Darren exhaled, his big
