pressing into his meaty, bloody shoulder. He didn’t say a word as he carried my
trembling body up the stairs, abandoning the gruesome and bloody scene behind
us. I closed my eyes to avoid having to see it again.
For the first time ever, I’d actually witnessed Darren murder someone. I knew he
had killed others, heard about it and listened to it, but I’d never actually seen him
do it, and it was fucking horrifying. The joy displayed on his face as he took that life
was sickening and disturbing, the blood dripping from his face a clear reminder of
what he was capable of.
The conversation we’d had in the car when we first came back to the estate
flashed in my head. How he planned to have me match him in every way. Could I
become a killer like him? Find enjoyment in the destruction of others the way he
did? I might have a strong vendetta for vengeance, but death was necessary in it
and not something to be pleasurable. Would I find pleasure in murdering those who
worked for Darren? Anyone who did business with him was an enemy, and I could
not afford to be prejudice against anyone. They would all have to go, and I didn’t
have the time or the room for remorse in that plan. I would have to be just as brutal
as the man holding me was. And the fear of what I would become after all of this
was over was more terrifying than anything else was.
And I had already begun to see those changes, hadn’t I? I’d already successfully
manipulated the death of one and attempted two more without a shred of remorse,
but it was entirely different when I finally witnessed the result of such actions.
Especially when they were as gruesomely displayed as that.
Darren clearly meant tonight’s display as a punishment. It was a warning for
what was to come should I ever betray Darren, but I doubted he would ever subject
me to such a beating again. In fact, it was probably a good thing he had shown me
such violence. I needed to get used to it; I needed to be able to look past the blood
and gore and see the real goal: annihilation.
But holy fuck, it was going to be a long, hard road before I would be able to
handle that kind of shit. I didn’t doubt I could put a bullet in someone’s head but to
carve them up was something entirely different. The only thing that worried me the
most was that next time I was caught in the idea of betrayal, I might recognize
Darren’s opponent standing in the ring … because it could be someone I love.
I couldn’t allow that. I couldn’t afford to be so careless again. I couldn’t give
voice to those thoughts ever again. To breathe them would be my ruin.
I suddenly felt water hit my back, warm water spraying on my bare skin and torn
clothing, and it made me jolt. Where were we?
“Shhh,” Darren cooed, stroking my hair back as he held us under a showerhead.
“How did we …?” I asked, letting the question linger as I tried to remember how
we had gotten here. I’d been so lost in my thoughts I didn’t even realize where
Darren had taken us.
Setting me on my feet, the sticky blood between us pulling at my clothes and
skin, Darren removed my ruined dress as well as his own clothes and moved us
deeper under the spray of the shower. I didn’t recognize the shower stall, so we
weren’t in his room or mine. I had no idea where we were or why we weren’t in
either of our own showers, but the thought didn’t linger long as I watched the blood
begin to slide down Darren’s chest and circle around the drain. I felt compelled to
help clean him.
Moving my hands to his shoulders, I became determined to help push the
crimson away from his skin, pressing it down with the water to make more and
more of it disappear. I wanted it gone, and I wanted him clean because then I could
pretend he was a little less evil.
“Jaden, stop,” Darren said, but I barely registered the words as I moved to grab a
bar of soap.
“I said stop it,” he snapped, grabbing my wrists to prevent me from washing
him.
“Let go,” I pleaded, attempting to pull away and getting nowhere.
“Look at me,” he growled, and my eyes instantly snapped up to his. “You’re
trying to wash
