“Everything will be well, Lila, I promise. The Servants will follow my instructions.” The adam will return . . . though not to you, my poor Lilith.
Her heart missed another beat, but she rewarded him with a relieved smile.
✽✽✽
“Sounds like an adventure, then. I’m a little jealous. I’ve always wanted to see aliens.” I accomplished a small laugh, but inside it felt like a fist had clenched and pulped my heart. I had a strong suspicion that if my grandmother was here she’d be ashamed of how weak I’d turned out to be.
And in that moment, for the first time in years, I allowed myself to miss her. Unfortunately, being the disappointingly weak grandchild that I was, that feeling was one too many.
My eyes blurred, and I scrubbed at them with the heels of my hands, suddenly desperate to be alone. But I couldn’t be alone; I needed to make sure Eileen was okay. I didn’t even know where to begin! Was she devastated? Excited? Terrified? And Adam would need help to get his house ready for Cara and Traveler. He probably needed groceries—definitely diapers—and did he have a boat? What about life preservers? Wasn’t there a dock at his house? Did he even have a car seat?
“Mom?”
“Yeah! I’m good.” Their concerned faces were too close, and I fought the urge to run. “Adam, what about a boat? And baby stuff? Eileen and I can go shopping while you—”
“I want to go with Adam!”
“Eileen, don’t you think—”
“I do, but I’ll need to gas it up . . . ”
“I want to go with Adam! We’ll get diapers and stuff.”
“If your mom doesn’t mind . . . ”
“Eileen, we need to have a little time—”
“But I want to go with Adam!”
“Please just st—”
“Lila, let her go.”
I opened my mouth to snap at Sal for interfering, but Adam saved me the trouble.
“No one asked you!”
“I merely thought that it would be an opportune time for us to talk.”
Oh, right. There’s more.
“No. Not alone.” Adam crossed his arms and suddenly appeared to take up a lot more space. Kind of like a big, muscular, possessive, stubborn, Marine-shaped mountain.
“Oh, please! Just go get things ready!” Maybe I was weaker than I wanted to be, but Jesus-Christ-dear-God-Almighty did he have to make his opinion so damn clear? The pained look on his face irritated me even more, and I practically shoved him out the front door. “Wait outside! I’ll send her out in a minute!”
Rounding back on Eileen, I hustled her off to splash water on her face and put on some rubber-soled shoes; and with a steady stream of admonishments—
“Stay right beside Adam!
“Take your cell phone! And your rain jacket!
“Don’t get on the boat without a life preserver!
“Make sure he gets some soy formula just in case! And natural fiber diapers!”
—I squished her in a desperate hug and shooed her out the door, too.
A rather stunned-looking Sal was still standing where I’d left him.
“What? She’s safe with Adam, isn’t she?”
“Yes. Our arrangement is too recent for anyone to break faith.”
Sure. The provisional exception. No pressure there. My heart blipped again, a sideways lurch that made my ears pop. I heard Adam’s truck roar awake, and the crunch of tires on sand—but that’s the last real thing I heard for a while.
My dream was cheerful, though. All sunlight and laughs.
Eileen and Pebbles were taking turns pouncing on Sal, who was buried up to his knees in sand, as Adam sent Betty racing over to join in the fun. It was a beach day, but the water looked cold—winter then—which explained why no one else was around. Just an endless stretch of gray sea and white sky and silver sand, marred only by foamy waves and tufts of sea oats.
I couldn’t even see the houses which I knew lined the strand, but I wasn’t worried. This was good. I settled onto the coarse, cool sand and patted together a little sand castle.
Other arms reached around me to help, and together we formed the inside of a house, with windows looking towards those I loved. I wanted to go back out to them, but I couldn’t find the door. Just before panic could take root, my mother’s slender arms stretched past me to push the wall open. It swung wide on hinges, and I laughed at how silly I was.
“You made this, my angel. Never forget!”
“I won’t, Mama!” I called out as I raced across the sand to play with my friends.
The bright sky never changed, but eventually it occurred to me that we’d been playing on the beach for days—weren’t our parents looking for us? There was something I was supposed to be doing . . . wasn’t there?
Eileen toddled over to me, her pudgy cheeks plastered with sand, and held her arms up. I scooped her high into the air and swung her around until her giggles made me laugh out loud.
The noise woke me.
When I opened my eyes, I noticed a distinct wobble in the ceiling fan spinning above me, but my body felt too fabulous to worry about home repairs. I stretched extravagantly, relishing the feel of my own skin, and finally rolled up to flex my back—and my grandmother’s throw slipped to the floor.
I was on the couch? Why? What time was it? What day was it?
“I found it in the trunk in your closet. You seemed more peaceful when you were covered.” Sal settled on the floor in front of me, a steaming mug of coffee in his big hand. “You needed a brief respite.” He smiled and held the cup toward me. “I believe this is how you like your coffee prepared.”
I wriggled back against the cushions, folding my legs in front of me so they wouldn’t touch him. “I don’t remember lying down.”
“Only two hours have passed since they left. You needed time to process.”
At my shocked silence, he offered me the coffee, and I took it for lack of any better
