“He’s been sleeping on the porch? But it’s still freezing outside! Nick, that’s so mean!”
“In his wolf form, Mel, he’s been out there in his wolf form. Trust me, the beast is well protected from the elements, we even put a few blankets out there for him, but he won’t use them. Probably because Dean’s lion rolled on them first, but still, if he got desperate, they were there,” Nick laughed.
Melody frowned but held her tongue.
He stroked her hair back from her forehead. “You’ve got to stop thinking of us as human, I know you’ve grown up with shifters, but I don’t think you got to truly experience our cultures. We’re a lot tougher than you think,” Nick explained.
He was right, of course. She did know that the shifters were tougher, she knew exactly how much shit they could cope with before they broke because she had seen hundreds of them broken. Asher was probably happier in his wolf form too, their beast sides didn’t worry as much as their human ones did. But he was relying on his beast side, something she didn’t want any shifter to have to do. Shifting should be because they wanted to, not because they were forced to, or needed to in order to survive.
Melody gave in. They were grown men, they could take care of themselves. “You’re right, I’m sorry, I’m not thinking straight. Let’s get this catheter out, and then I’ll see if I can bond him. Hopefully the sooner I do it, the sooner I’ll heal,” she sighed. “It’s the worst reason ever to bond a shifter, you know that, right?”
Nick snorted. “He brought this mess on himself, besides, with two shifters lending their strength to you, surely you’ll heal faster?”
“I honestly don’t know, but I can try. My aunt never let me have more than one shifter at a time, and even then, it wasn’t for very long,” she told him.
Nick opened his mouth to say something, then snapped it shut again, then repeated the sequence several more times.
She could only imagine what was going through his head, if she could reassure him, she would. “Nick, just spit it out.”
He turned crimson. “I was just wondering how many familiars you’ve had. I mean, it’s none of my business, but I can’t help but be curious about the woman that my dragon has his sights on.”
Melody thought about it for a moment, how could she answer this delicately? No matter how she put it, it was still going to shock and horrify him. There was no gentle way around it, no matter how much it was going to hurt her when he turned from her and never came back, he deserved to know the kind of monster he was considering bonding to.
“Hundreds,” she finally said quietly, and even though the lighting was dim, she could see that he blanched.
“They were old?” he asked, trying to understand.
“Some, not many, most of them were about my age now.”
“What happened?”
Melody felt shame wash over her. She was quite sure that telling him would result in punishment from her aunt, but part of her wanted to spill everything to him. Then he would run, they would all run, and finally they would be safe. Only Dean would die. The thought of that nearly split her heart in two. She’d become far too attached to him already. These men were just too dangerous for her heart.
“I couldn’t save them,” she finally said. It was the truth and not disloyal to her coven at the same time, but she hated that it left so much out. So much darkness and pain. What would these men think of her when they found out just what a monster she was?
It was only a matter of time before she drove them away forever.
6. Melody
Melody had to heal. She had to get to the top of her class, and then she had to get out of her coven. Then she could refuse the Apex, and they would be free. The others would be better off without her, and Dean and Asher at least would be safe, even if they were bonded to a monster. Goddess, they could even ask to break the bond, without her life on the line, she would gladly give their freedom such as it was, back to them.
Guilt slammed into her. Her life on the line. Her life?
If it wasn’t her life on the line, it was theirs. If she wanted to live, then they were going to die. If she wanted them to live, then she needed to step up and defy her aunt, bring on the geasen and sacrifice herself for their safety.
Only, Melody couldn’t bring herself to do it.
She really was a monster.
Nick sat there silently, waiting for more, but she could give him nothing. “Can we please just do this. I need to heal, and then I need to study. I’ve missed two weeks of classes, I’ll never get to the top at this rate.”
The guilt was eating away at her soul. Melody tried to kid herself that by surviving, she was saving Dean from her aunt. Except, she was about to bond Asher, wasn’t she? So, it wasn’t one shifter that she was condemning, it was two.
Nick caught her hands in his, holding them to his chest. “Mel, you’ve been hit by a heavy curse, you needed that time to recover. We’ll get you caught up, just give yourself time.”
His words were so sweet, but she couldn’t let herself be lulled by them. She had to stay strong. Melody had to keep her distance for now, she needed to push them away. It would hurt them in the interim, but it would save their
