“You understand what?” Mrs Hardinger asked her.
Melody blinked, wondering what she had missed while she was distracted by the bond.
“Melody, you said for the first time you understand. What is it that you understand, child?”
Oh, goddess! She’d spoken that aloud. She couldn’t admit it to them, even if they could feel it from her. She couldn’t sit there and blandly tell them that the bond was winning, that she couldn’t hold her heart back from them for much longer. Even Asher was growing on her. The fact that the provost and Mrs Hardinger were there only made it worse. The first would smile happily at her, the latter would give her a knowing look and a wink. No, she couldn’t address this right now.
However.
She could address the other side of the coin.
From knowing how the beginning of the bond felt, she could only imagine how bad it would feel when an established one ended. No wonder so many shifters died. It wasn’t the magic, it was the shock. The heartbreaking horror of it.
“I know why so many came to us,” she finally answered. “Even after there were … irregularities, still many shifters came to us to be bonded. Some of them were much older than you would expect. Now that I’m experiencing a bond longer than half an hour, I know why they came. The older ones.”
Everyone looked at each other, confused.
“The shifters who came to us, they’d all been bonded before. All of them. They all came with broken bonds. I always thought it was because their witch had died, but it couldn’t have been. Not so many. They came, because their bonds were broken. Because the bond pulled on the witches to love their familiars, and those who succumbed were forced to break. Or maybe the coven didn’t approve of the familiar beast. It’s just…”
She looked at them all, lost for words. Yes, for her the bond was wondrous, because she had the freedom to explore it. Although the idea of her aunt jumping for joy at the thought of Melody pregnant to a strong shifter was enough to put her off the idea for life.
“I didn’t understand why they didn’t go back to the pack lands, and let the alpha and the witches there help them with their shifts. But it wouldn’t have been enough, would it? They would have pined for a new bond for the rest of their lives.”
Mrs Hardinger sighed and nodded. “Yes, you’re right. I don’t know why nobody thought of that before. Probably because we didn’t really look exactly at who was joining their ranks, but it does make more sense.”
“I don’t understand,” Dean said, looking at her with sadness.
She knew he could feel her heart breaking. Craig had to be the latest. She bet if she looked him up, found out his life story leading up to his arrival at Bestia, he would be a perfect example of what she now feared.
“Not long before I came here, Craig arrived at the coven. There aren’t as many who come to us as there used to be, but some still come. He was older, but still in his prime, his panther was magnificent.”
Twin growls sounded from beside her.
“Enough of that, let her talk,” Mrs Hardinger snapped.
“I was brought out to break him in. It’s my role at Bestia, for the good of the coven,” she said with a sour taste in her mouth. “They’re ordered to challenge me. I don’t look threatening, I’m young, obviously young enough to bear children. Most of them don’t hesitate. They challenge me, I make them shift and the bond forms. It’s for the good of the coven.”
Maybe, just maybe if she could keep saying that, it would stop the geasen from silencing her this time. Maybe she could make them understand what a monster she was. It was too late for Dean and Asher, but they’d be able to warn the others away. Even if they couldn’t, the provost and Mrs Hardinger would protect them. The two older witches were clever and powerful, they’d find a way to protect the others.
“But it doesn’t make sense to have the youngest witch with the strongest shifters. So, my aunt would break the bond, and make the shifter challenge me again.” This was where things would get dicey. “Of course, it’s unpleasant to have it broken, and they’d be angry, and almost all of them would refuse. So, my aunt would discipline me for the good of the coven. The shifters would see how well cared for they would be, with routine and structure and discipline, and they would leap at the chance to try to join us again.”
Melody closed her eyes, hoping that they could read between her words and understand the horror that she was describing.
“For the wellbeing of the coven, Craig was worn down until he could barely shift. Then he was given the option to challenge Claudia. Not only was she older and more experienced, but she was a better match for him. She would take good care of him, and if she had trouble controlling his bond, then I was there as a backup to support her — for the good of the coven.”
She wanted to choke on the lie. The truth was that Claudia would use him as a sex slave until she conceived, and then she’d discard him to the basement with the others, forced to endure whatever it was that their coven did to them.
Of course, if the child was male, or if Claudia lost it or wished for another one, he would be trotted out again and again for his stud services. It would either make him understand his position, or it would break him.
She’d seen too many of the latter for her to hold out hope.
An act of kindness, a warm bed, some food, the
