I long to hold her in my arms. I’ve regained more and more of my memories of our life before, which has left me with a desire so great, I can hardly contain it. I love her. I want her—more than anything I’ve ever wanted before. Every time we touch, my need for her grows even stronger. She was mine and I was hers: body, mind, heart and soul. And the truth is, that I still feel this way. I cannot help it.
But I also know that it can never be. Not in this life. I will not risk her safety as I did before. I was reckless then. Blinded by my jealousy, I was happy that she wanted only me. Instead of encouraging her to take a harem, I selfishly kept her all to myself and it cost her everything. I remember the day she told me about the five men waiting for her, chosen by her mother. Just the thought of those men daring to touch her stirred fierce possessiveness in me.
And now… knowing we must find four other guards to aid us in our quest, I feel the same dark jealous possession I felt before.
“You can go now, Cael.” Her soft voice calls me back from my troubled thoughts. My eyes snap up to meet hers. She’s dressed in only a threadbare shirt. It is obviously meant for a man, but the way it hangs loose on her body, exposing the delicate curve of her neck and shoulder, my mouth goes dry just looking at her.
I force myself to turn away and go to the tub to bathe. When I’m done, I slip on a clean shirt and loose pants to sleep in. She’s already in the bed. I look down at the floor, puzzled when I don’t see a blanket and pillow there for me like I’d expected.
As if sensing my question, she smiles. “You can sleep up in the bed with me if you’d like.”
I swallow thickly. Of course, I want this. I want her—desperately. Steeling myself, I walk toward the bed.
I lift the edge of the blanket and crawl in beside her. She turns to face me, then snuggles against my chest. We’ve done this before when we camped, but something about being in the same bed makes it feel different, more intimate. It calls forth memories of our past life, and I find it difficult to ignore the emotions brimming just beneath the surface.
I love her, and I want her. But she cannot be mine.
With a heavy sigh I close my eyes, feigning exhaustion that I no longer feel now that she is in my arms. “Goodnight, Kyra.”
“Goodnight, Cael.”
She places her hand on my chest, resting her palm directly over my heart. It’s pounding and I’m sure she feels it, but she says nothing.
My nostrils flare as I draw her delicate scent deep into my lungs. She nestles close against me and my body responds. My length hard and painfully erect beneath the comforter. I open my eyes and stare down at the obvious tent in the fabric, praying she doesn’t look down and see it as well. The last thing I want is to make her uncomfortable in any way.
Asleep, she pushes the blanket down from her shoulders, revealing the threadbare shirt covering her chest. In the dim candlelight, I’m able to see the soft mounds of her breasts beneath the fabric. Her nipples a dusty pink color against the rest of her pale, creamy skin. My mouth waters with want to taste her. To brush my tongue over the soft peak and feel it stiffen beneath my attentions as I remember from our past life together.
Many nights, I would crave her in the darkness as she slept. I would gently roll her onto her back and then move down her body. Parting her thighs, I would dip my head between them and slick my tongue between her soft folds, awakening her with pleasure.
I remember the way she used to run her fingers through my hair, guiding me to the small bundle of nerves at the apex that would always drive her mad with desire when I teased it with my tongue.
Drawing in a deep breath, I force myself to push these lust-filled thoughts from my mind. She is not mine and she can never be.
When morning comes, I force myself to remain still, not wanting to wake her. The sound of her breathing is soft and even, telling me she is still asleep.
I look down at her. With her hand on my chest and her head on my shoulder, she sleeps so trustingly in my arms that it nearly breaks me. She shivers slightly and I reach down and pull the blanket up over her shoulder, making sure to cover her completely. I brush the hair back from her face and then press a soft kiss to her forehead. “I will not fail you this time, Kyra,” I whisper. “I promise.”
Soft light filters in through the window as dawn approaches. I know I should wake her soon, but I also know she needs rest. I’m torn. I want to leave this place as soon as possible, but this is the first time since we left Willow’s that we have had a relatively comfortable place to rest.
She stirs softly in my arms and then gives me a sleepy smile. “How long have you been awake?”
“Not long,” I lie. In truth, I slept very little. I was afraid to allow myself to fall into a deep sleep and risk someone coming upon us while we were unconscious. Even though I cast the protective ward on our door, I know it is not as strong as one cast by an actual mage.
As we pack our belongings, a sudden knock at the door startles us both.
“Breakfast comes with the room.” I
