“But what if I want you as well?” I ask. “Do my feelings not matter?”
“Of course, they do,” Finn protests. “But this is all new for you. We do not want you to make any decisions you might regret later.”
Perhaps he is right, but in my heart, I do not feel this way. My heart insists that I love them. And I don’t care if it’s the bond that has made my feelings blossom so quickly. I’ve never felt this way for another. I lift my eyes to them. “You do not care that I have feelings for you both?”
A gentle smile curls Finn’s lips. “No.”
“Do shifters marry humans?” I ask because if they do, I have never heard of this before. After all, only a few days ago, I believed shifters were only myths.
Finn’s expression falls into a look of sadness. “It is forbidden for a shifter to mate a human.”
“Forbidden,” the word leaves my lips in a hushed whisper. I could have died this night and all I could think of was my guards.
It’s obvious Finn and Cash care for me as much as I do them. But even as I consider this, I know deep in my heart that it is more than that. I love them. Both of them. And I do not care if such a thing is forbidden. People are trying to kill me. Why not grab what happiness I can... while I am still alive?
We move to the bedroom, and Finn starts a fire while Cash tucks me under the blankets in the bed.
He sits on the edge, and Finn comes to join him. His warm green eyes search mine a moment before he reaches across and brushes the hair back from my face and tucks it behind my ear.
“Sleep, Ella,” Finn whispers softly. “We will keep watch over you.”
I place my hand over his. “Will you—” I bite my lip as warmth creeps up my neck to my cheeks.
“What is it?”
“Will you hold me?” I glance to Cash as well. “Both of you? Like you did when we slept in my tower on the estate?”
“Are you sure you wish for us to lie beside you, Ella?” Finn asks, his gaze searching mine in concern.
“Yes,” I mutter, already feeling the hidden weight of the day lift from my shoulders. “I feel... safe with you both.”
But that is not the only reason. It is also because I could have been murdered and never felt the warmth of their arms around me again.
Finn crawls in beside me, and I turn into his arms, hugging him tightly. Cash lies down behind me, holding me close. I love being held by both of them. It makes me feel safe and loved.
Finn gently strokes my hair while Cash runs his hand soothingly up and down my hip. I tilt my head up to look at Finn. Tenderly, he skims the tip of his nose alongside mine. With his eyes closed, a deep rumbling purr vibrates from his chest. The soothing sound lulling me into a state of relaxation.
“Kai said the bond between us could be sealed with a kiss,” I whisper.
His eyes snap open. “Yes. That is how it is done. The permanent binding of a female to her guards. But you do not need to decide this now, Ella.”
“What if I’ve already decided?”
He stills and so does Cash behind me. His gaze holds mine. “You have been through much this night, Ella.” He presses a soft kiss to my forehead. “Rest. You are safe. You do not need to permanently bind us to remain so. We are already bound to you of our own accord.”
Everything inside me wants to cement the permanent bond with them. To seal them to me with a kiss. In my heart, I know what I feel is love, but I cannot silence the doubt in the back of my mind that insists this could all be the bond. So much has happened and I know enough of trauma, from all my years of abuse at the hands of my stepmother, that making rash decisions rarely turns out well.
So, instead of arguing that I am ready to seal them to me, I snuggle in between Cash and Finn, enjoying their warmth and safety. I think on their words. They claim we are safe here. Closing my eyes, I force myself to relax. And after what feels like an eternity, I begin to drift away into the oblivion of precious sleep.
Chapter 18
Ella
When I wake, it’s with a renewed sense of purpose. Morning light filters in through the window, casting a soft warm glow throughout the room. I stretch my body out between Cash and Finn. Finn’s arms tighten around my waist as I do so.
To be honest, I love this feeling of sleeping between them. Just as I loved it back at the estate when they all slept around me at night. But the events of yesterday have caused everything to come into sharp focus with sparkling clarity.
For the first time, I’m waking up somewhere outside of my tower and away from my stepmother’s cruelty. But the danger I used to face from her is far less than the one I must contend with now. Someone wants to kill me. Wolf shifters, specifically.
As my gaze travels over the room, it occurs to me that I’ve traded one cage for another. I cannot leave this place. Not until it is truly safe and no one is coming after me. Having this small taste of freedom away from my cruel stepmother has strengthened my resolve to live.
But that’s the problem. I don’t want to just survive, I want to truly be free. And in order to do that,
